It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

ReplaceMets Sweep Fred Wilpon's Favorite Team

Next up: the class of the NL East

The Manny-less Dodgers went easily this week and Fred Wilpon probably lost a lot of money, both from bets that failed to pan out and from the now customary customer-less seats behind Citi's home plate. Aided by some un-LA like weather patterns and the insertion of Ike Davis to shore up the lineup, the Mets made short work of the currently hapless Dodgies and now somehow sit atop the NL East.  Even junkballer John Maine wasn't completely horrible today.  Of course, the Mets still have Angel (Pagans) in the outfield and Ollies toeing rubbers, so enjoy this early success while you can, as we can expect our boys to be deposited back into 2nd or 3rd place by Sunday.  As is expected, Jerry Manuel leads the way in wishful thinking and foolhardiness, being quoted after Perez's latest shitty shenanigans (getting the hook in the 4th after a four-pitch walk to opposing pitcher Charlie Haeger):
"I'm going to stay with Ollie. I thought the night was a difficult night. It was very cold, windy. I think we need Ollie to get it right. We need Ollie to figure it out."
Sure the Mets have won a few games in a row, but if they want to win me over they'll send Perez packing before he can start giving up the gopherballs.  He has no role in a major league rotation. He is not going to figure it out.

Here come the Phil-mes! Hopefully this weekend, the ReplaceMets hurlers can chuck some great pitches up, project some timely hits, and ultimately throw up some W's on the board.

Tony B has inadvertently offered up the Mets slogan for 2011 when he complained to Faux that
"I was punished for trying to be great."
The New York Mets: Come Watch Greatness Get Punished.  Seems to capture both the car crash curiosity a fan would need these days to buy a ticket to Shitifield, and the appalling squandering (squanderation?) of money and of the careers of the few core players the Mets have signed and developed over these past 10 years.

Let's go Mets!

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Monday, April 26, 2010

Break Up the Mets! Break Out the Brooms! Even Mother Nature Jumps on the Bandwagon
The Tongue is in the house. 

Of all Omar Minaya's maligned offseason accomplishments, the one perhaps most criticized--the brilliant "and pray for rain" part of the Mets rotation-- is working just fine so far.  Last night, Mother Nature delivered the Mets and Big Pelf a victory on a platter over the once-and-future hated Br*ves.  One rain shortened game out of 20 ain't bad. Of course, it remains to be seen whether the Mets can sweep a team without Chipper playing third and running interference.  This series, Larry Jones seemed focused on hammerhanding back all the glory he achieved on the Mets' watch while they were playing at Shea.

Pelf wasn't exactly masterful, giving up five hits, walking five Atlanta batters, and tossing a Maine-like 106 pitches to get through five innings. But he did manage to remain unscored upon this season.  People will probably credit the split-finger fastball for Mike "Bats in my" Pelfrey's resurgence, but I swear it's all about the mouthguard. I mean, look at the waging going on in the picture above.  

Rain was perhaps the only thing that could keep Jerry from continuing his quest to help Fernando Nieve qualify for his second career Tommy John surgery. After the game, and apparently not in response to a question about Ron Washington, Jerry had this to say:
"I've always been more comfortable with speed," Mr. Manuel said last week. "I like speed."
He was talking about the Pagan, Luis, Reyes batting order, I guess. Which makes me wonder how long Reyes will stay in the three hole.  Castillo seems to be doing fine. And Pagan is Pagan. The Mets are over .500 somehow, and they are 10-9.  Can Pelf keep this up? Could Ike Davis be the magic? Will Reyes regain his old dancing steps? Has Frenchy turned the corner? Is Davey Boy going to return to form? Winning helps make us care.
Ike, you've gone and made me care again.

Now, like all right-thinking people, I hate the Br*ves, even though the Mets-Atlanta rivalry is all but irrelevant these days thanks to Omar Minaya. But I have to admit, this is a hilarious prank on Nate McLouth from a few weeks ago.

What's that smell? It's the stench of the corpse of Joe Torre, of course.  On to play the Dodgies next, a team that has brutalized us seemingly since the Mets wiped them out of the playoffs a few years back.  Bad things happen to the Mets when the Dodgers are around.  In the past few seasons, Pagan and Reyes have suffered lasting injuries while playing LA, and you should see my pride, since I have seen many of these games in person. Maybe this year will be different. But with Ollie and Maine pitching for the Mets the next two games, it will probably get ugly.

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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ike Rides a Bike, Puts his Finger in the Dike, and Steps up to the Mike!

Today is the first day of the rest of Ike Davis' career. I have to be careful here, since I once fell deeply in love with another 1st base prospect, back in 2005. But along with every one else, I enjoyed his first appearance, from the way he has a knack for timely singles, to the way ducks out of the way at each curve ball--isn't it cute? My main challenge was not to use the word "like" in the headline to this post--a quick late night perusal of sportsspyder indicates that the tabloid beat writers are still working on their rhyming Ike headlines as I write this. Well, top this you crusty bastards!!

In his own indomitable style, Jerry himself expressed the fact he was impressed with Ike's deep drive to right in the 6th. Ike's flyout in other words.
"It was a young man thinking the game was on the line, 'Let me see if I could do some damage here,' and he took a shot," Manuel said. "I thought that was impressive."
I dunno about that, Jerry. In fact, I dunno about you, Jerry.

But, hey the Mets won last night, and we didn't even have to watch Angel Pagan run the bases much--he just trotted.  Which reminds me that the 20 inning Cards game was so bearable because we didn't have to watch Oliver Perez.

Today's Good Guy Opponent award goes to the Cubs' Marlon Byrd, who took a wayward Jenrry Meija changeup to the coconut in the 9th, then enthusiastically picked up his helmet and ran to first.  No macho bullshit for Marlon. Alright, I never gave this award out before, but there you are.
"He tried to throw a changeup," Byrd said. "If it was a fastball, I wouldn't have gotten up."

Our stars have seen better days.  Jose Reyes is exhausted and begging for a vacation.  Carlos Beltran is having his knee (routinely) checked out, we are told.  And now, since David Wright has forgotten how to hit, perhaps its time we play up some of the other aspects of his game. He's real polite, for instance.  And the ladies love him.  You know, it's worth remembering that David Wright loves him some scrappy.
I've always been a huge fan of high-character players, not only players that [have talent]," Wright said. "I love a player that puts winning before everything else. I take a guy that maybe has a little bit less talent but a guy that has a desire to win over maybe a guy that's a little more top-notch but doesn't.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

Get Excited About a Met: Mets Scout Beirut Teams for Possible Midseason Trade Partner
A couple more weeks of futility, and Mets fans are going to toss Bay overboard without the floaty thing.

The Mets sole move this winter was to throw mondo Wilpon dollars at RBI man Jason "Kay." That's his nickname so far. It's better than Jason "Flush Your Toilets into the" Bay.  He hasn't done anything particularly boneheaded yet, but he hasn't hit much of anything. He is a serious flailer. His O fer 7 with 4 Ks and 5 LOB during the 20 inning St. Louis game has punctuated Bay's early season futility.

He is also, they say, notoriously streaky. And on a team this shitty, I can wait for him to come around. It really doesn't matter.  But credible or not, Peter Gammons' story about Beirut has managed to stain Bay's entry into imagination of the major leagues' most frenzied and disrespected fanbase: it isn't hard to believe that Bay is in it for the money, as they all are. So even knowing the story was probably bs, it's hard to get too enthused about him; the Red Sox kinda wanted him back, and they're pretty good, I suppose.

"I pledge allegiance, eh, to whichever team deposits the most loonies in my bank account."

Bay does seem like a swell guy, and fits right in with Francoeur's ReplaceMets. All of whom we can expect to get regularly dominated by a wide range of pitchers such as Adam Wainwright or Felipe Lopez.

They say Eskimos have many words for snow. By mid-season, Mets fans will have just as many words for suck. This team blows.

By the way, just a programming note: Blogger software, of which I seem to be using the latest version, really still sucks.  Somehow the software is still balky and inscrutable, and mysteriously formats pictures in the shittiest way possible.  You can no longer resize photos to your own specifications. Hard to believe that they can't get this right.  In other words, it's not all my fault.


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Mets Victory Somehow in the Cards
"For fun, I let my dog make all the management decisions tonight!"

I would love to recap this game, this 20 inning classic. But thanks to the MLB and Fux, I could only follow along on Gameday and watch the ESPN highlights.  The 18th inning, wherein our heroes could not muster offense against position player Felipe Lopez on the mound, was one of the most pathetic things we may ever see from the Mets franchise. I think it's time for me to dust off the term I coined for this: the Mets "awfulfence" is back; it's offensive yes, but it ain't offense.  Perhaps the Mets owe Tony LaRasshat for their victory, since Tony seemingly bent on willingly disabling his club. LaRasshat will have an easier time explaining how he ends up asleep at Florida stoplights than explaining some of the moves he made in this game.

Thanks to MLB and Fux, for blacking out baseball's most loyal out of town fans!! is another joke: just try to explain to me why it is nearly impossible to find a given highlight video by linking to their game recaps--first you have to page through pages of distinct highlight plays and only if you're very lucky will you come across the actual game highlight reel, you know, the one a fan actually wants to see so they can catch up on the game.  Do they really think the aggravation that comes with their piecemeal highlight bullshit is going to drive customers to their on-line product? It's so counter intuitive and stupid, it must be the MLB.

What to do today while I staved off the frustration of anther year of Fux's Saturday Baseball screwjob where I buy the $180 out of town "Extra Innings" baseball package from MLB only to find that they already sold half of the weekend games to Fux, whether or not they decide to broadcast it? To be clear, during the weekend, when the fan can actually sit back and enjoy baseball, the MLB and Fux blackout just about all the games.  Out here in California, I can watch the Dodgers-Giants (which I could have done anyway and listened to Vin Scully instead of some idiot like Joe Buck), or I can go screw.  Even in this day and age of long tail, niche entertainment, what the customer wants (and pays for) doesn't matter, and there's nothing we can do about it, despite our blogs, call-in shows, purchasing power and supposed influence.  Other than stew in my ill-will and wait for the chance at cosmic payback, today I watched hockey; at least they want my attention. And I did a bit of reflection.

It's so hard to draw distinctions between this year's effort and the past couple of suckfest seasons. To the untrained eye, the product looks about the same as usual, at least in the games I've seen this year.  So far, I would say where as last year's squad's modus opperandi was to snatch horrible, emotionally and physically scaring, multi-level defeat from the jaws of occasional victory, this year's squad seems content to grab routine defeat from the slobbering mouth of certain defeat.  These Mets are pretty boring and we fans are anesthetized to the pain, but at least a Collapsathon TM seems to be out of the question this season.

So where are we and how did we get here? After the 2006 campaign, Mets fans were giddy.  Seen metaphorically, Omar's team was a great hitter who just needed to take the bat off his shoulder to have a really good chance at defeating the next soul-patched enemy in 2007.  The club was well-financed, had a small stable of quality players, under rather fresh new management, and seemed post-season bound or at least competitive.

                                                    This product hits way too close to home for the Wilpons.

Fast forward to 2010.  The team already looks like toast.  Organizationally, the Mets are a complete joke, like the Chicago Cubs, only not funny or lovable.  It started again this winter when Omar couldn't manage to upgrade the pitching rotation, to at least give us some fresh hurlers to loose faith in and eventually dread seeing.  They play (or will soon play) in a half empty, price-gouging, tax-payer supported stadium that's poor sight lines are the only way it doesn't pay tribute to the Dodgers.

Bobby V. brings a lot of baggage wherever he goes: "let's not get crazy here

What it means to blog about the Mets at this point is to provide chronicles of the futile and catalogs of missteps so unbelievable, you have to rub your eyes. This year, being a Mets blogger means guessing when the Wilpon's will cut bait on their GM or manager (or when they'll get contract extensions!), and weighing in on whether the front office clowns will try to right the ship by signing up for another go-round with unpredictable, non-company man Bobby Valentine. The fact that I knew in my heart that the Metsies were ultimately lose this marathon game (even though they won a Pyrrhic victory) just shows the expectations that Omar and his chuckleheaded bunch of clowns have fostered in their fans. I expect the worst.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Yoda on Last Night's Game: Jerry, Fired He Must Be

Yoda's a pretty patient Jedi.  But even thousand year old dwarfs have their limits.  Jerry Manuel is trying to run himself out of town. That's the only explanation I can come up with. 

When is an "L" more than an "L"?  Here's how a routine loss turns into magic in the hands of a true master...

Jerryball: Watch your team somehow tie the game. Then bring in slow hitter Fernando Tatis to pinch run, in the middle of an at-bat so it's extra disorienting for the enemy. They won't know what you're up to. Then bring in fast non-hitter Alex Cora to pinch hit with the game on the line. Then, skip your pricey closer and instead bring in your rookie Jjenrry Mmejia to give up the inevitable Rockie bomb to end the game.  To recap, the plan is not only to lose a winnable game, and squander the few resources you actually have, but also to help destroy the psyche of your organization's prime pitching prospect in the process.  Jerry somehow pulled this all off in the space of an inning. That's some kind of mind trick.

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Tuesday, April 13, 2010

FEMA Put on Alert for John Maine's Next Start
If you want to see how John Maine did last night check the Maine Disaster page. Omar should remind us again about why he decided this team didn't need starting pitching in the off-season.  Where are the Mets going to get a starting rotation at this point? Yeah, this is all I got.

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Sunday, April 11, 2010

Livan Ain't Easy: Mets Ace No Match for Powerful Natinals
Don't look now: Frenchy is one of the few remaining things to enjoy about this club.

If there are more pathetic moments coming this season than this one, I don't think I want to see them:
David Wright grounding sadly, pathetically, pitiably into a double play to end the Mets "threat" in the bottom of the first after Johan gave up a grand slam--which itself came as a relief since it momentarily stopped the Gnats outright molestation of his pitching. I mean, it was so bad, Pope Benedict XVI thought about trying to cover it up! Ooah!* Even the grand-slam was painfully inefficient, since the Mets had to risk their catcher's life twice during a play that could have just been called a homerun in the first place.  You can't really say anything too bad about the Johan, but he seemed oddly unprepared to do his job today, and I can't help but wonder his presence on the Mets isn't like putting fine rims on a hooptie; this team is salvage at this point.

Livan Hernandez easily bested the Mets line-up. Think about that.

The only thing to be thankful about right now is that there are only five positions in the NL East, because this team looks primed for sixth place to me. And perhaps we could be thankful that Johan isn't injured.  But I'm not entirely sure of that either.

There is no truth to the rumor that Mets relief pitcher Raul Valdes--featured in today's 6th and 7th innings--tried to defect back to Cuba after he realized who he has to play for.

Utter and Complete Mysteries to me at this point:
Only other teams can enjoy hitting balls out of Citi. It just seems that way.
Mike Jacobs is in the lineup at all (thanks Pedro!)
Goofy Jeff Francoeur is the only Met with a pulse (actually contributing to scientific progress by making fan-boys with their calculators have to come up with more complex models to justify their hatred of him).
A line up Mike Jacobs would be just as comfortable in.

During the SNY broadcast, Ron Darling offered a list of his keys to the Mets season; how the team would "click."  Reasonable people can disagree I suppose.

Ron Darling's Keys to the Mets' Season

1. Ollie, Pelfrey, Maine need to make all 90 of their starts
2. Santana has to have a good season.
3. Reyes MVP
4. 8th inning reliever
5. Change in the culture (knocking over the catcher, hustling)

ItsMetsforme's Keys to the Mets Season

1.The Mets need to get three new starters to slot behind Santana to replace these guys
2. He's topping out at 89 mph and coming off an injury. Santana's contract really is a waste on a team like this.
3. Reyes healthy for the season, can leg out triples without leaving on a stretcher
4. Identify a durable mop up man, might need two
5. Change in the management (I'm all for knocking over a catcher or two, but change will be near impossible with this bunch.  Selling no tickets or merchandise might help promote change.)

Really, the Mets need to blow this thing up again and start over. They're not even close to competing.

*I'll be here all night, be sure to try the veal, tip your waitress, second show never the same as the first.

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Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Defeated! The ReplaceMets Pitching Performs as Expected and Then All Sorts of Crazy Stuff Happens

Here is my stream of conscious reaction to tonight's game, along with my lame attempts to edit, then re-edit, as I searched for a storyline, a storyline that was staring me right in the face.  The real take-away from this game?  This year's Mets are going to make us pay, with our time and emotion, for being fans. Also, this: if the Mets cannot win when their main competition in the NL East actively tries to give them victory, they will not win very often.

I can't explain this photo like I can't explain why I watch this team.

It's probably way to early to write off John Maine's 2010 season.  It's also pretty easy, so I'm going to go ahead and say that tonight's pasting probably represents what we're going to see from Maine and his sinking career. If you're an aficionado of the Mets, 2009 vintage, you probably loved this alternatively boring than horrific torture of a contest.

I luvz the Metz!!!
I hate this team!!

Random game notes in chronological order (the only kind I can provide with my disappointment-addled brain):

*I know that guy. That's obviously John Maine on the mound. On pace for 150 pitches through 6.
*Corrrra runs ugly.  His gait is incorrigible.
 *Judging from the crowd noise, either someone finally threw cowbell guy off the Shea bridge, or Cantu's HR ball was thrown back onto the field.  If so, is that really a tradition we want for Citi?
 *Kevin Burkhart gets the scoop on the Mets new "prevention and recovery" program; you always can tell a particularly ridiculous and desperate a move is when they name it.  Apparently this is replacing the club's old approach to wellness, the "ignore and exacerbate" program.
*The boys in the SNY booth also discussed Gary "Private" Matthews Jr. --his attitude and pedigree but not his obvious use of steroids--though it was hard to hear from all the noise Private was making with his super-swishing-strike out bat.
*It's JJenrry Mejia's first appearance, and all we really learned that Rod Barajas knows how to block the plate. Finally a catcher who can do that. He is going to get a lot of practice this season.
*No crappy forgettable Mets effort would be complete without an appearance by Sean "It ain't easy watching" Green.
*"Runners at the corners with Alex Cora coming up"; the phrase that strikes fear into the heart ...of Mets fans.
*No! Don't Show us Your Tatis!!
*I stand corrected, this game is anything but forgettable. No.  Tonight's potential goat, Fernando "It is better to look good than to be good" Tatis couldn't make it home on a wild pitch. I guess he made the wrong decision, and that's a part of Mets baseball, but don't worry, he'll get plenty more chances.  Only the Mets could work themselves out of a bases loaded, David Wright up with 2 outs situation with such ease. Only the Metz.
*Add the phantom-Balk to the legend of the Mets-Fish.*Only the Metz "dominant" "closer" could come in with a day's rest and make the 9th so interesting. Also making things interesting was an NHL style "pay back" bad call (against the Mets) at first that kept the inning going.
*Ohh nooooOooo--Hizzonor!
*And, Oh the investment I made in this game. Four hours of diligent work in the real world that could have been done. But no, I watched this because I thought they could win.  They can't just lose in regulation like last year's craptastic team, can they?


Monday, April 05, 2010

Pleased to Meet Me(ts): ReplaceMets Win!; "Francoeur's Mets" Take the Field to Start a Long Year

Some somewhat random observations about a Mets opening day which answered the question of what happens when an uninspiring offense meets an unseemly defense. If this Marlins squad is the team the Mets are battling for 3rd place, then the Fish have to worry about their defensive gremlins at first and center-field.  At least for a day, you have to like the Mets chances.

Mets uniforms
Off white is off putting. It looks like Charlie Samuels left Oliver Perez's pink thong in with the hot wash laundry yesterday.
Artist's rendition of Gary Matthews Jr. playing centerfield

Gary Matthews Jr.
Takes Rodger "flyball dodger" Cedeno-like routes to the ball. They are hard to watch and make me giggle out of terror. I realized it's only a matter of time before circumstances lead to the hardest thing in the world to watch: Oliver Perez delivering a pitch that is hit to center patrolled by Private Matthews Jr. I don't think I could take that.

If the radar gun is so important, then why don't they put it on the scoreboard?
SNY decides viewers don't need pitch speeds until the sixth inning, unless I missed something. I seem to remember this happening before early in past seasons. Seeing that SNY is trotting out the same tedious, vaguely offensive advertisements with the wacky Pakistani (?) sports gear store owners, you have to wonder what they've been doing all winter over there. Preparing an offer to buy this blog, no doubt.

Mex "can't say no to a pretty face." Keith's comment is ironic, seeing as it was directed at the woman whose job is probably to keep him from making sexist remarks.  He hasn't stepped in it in a while, so this is something to follow.

Frenchy cured!
First, Keven Burkhart reveals that Frenchy has taken control of the Mets clubhouse. Then he takes a walk in the 4th. Delta Delta Delta!!

There they are!
Mets showed flashes of their old selves in the 4th when they threatened and got the bases loaded and blew it in short order.  Nearly everything else went their way though.

Slappy defensive notebook
Castillo still using one hand for pop-ups. And arguably, he could have slapped a decent tag down on Cantu in the 6th on Jason Bay's nice throw to end the inning, if his arthritic claw could move that fast.

Cody Ross still a dumb rodeo clown. Speaking of clowns, I saw many complaints about MLB's internet service in the interweb. Unbelievable that these clowns can't get this right.  I go with the cable TV package every year, which, for all its aggravation, isn't as bad as

The Fill-mes may be interested in getting Figgy with it. This interest in Mets cast-offs may be just one more way of tweaking the Mets.  Rumor is the Fills plan to acquire the entire 2009 Mets roster and win a championship with them.

If you're like me and feel that Mets baseball and baseball in general is opening for business under a cloud this season, confirm your suspicions by reading Vecsey's run down of the Mets, or this article on the way that luxury seats that businesses can write off what amounts to a government subsidy are ruining the game and life on earth.

The Mets are guaranteed a share of first place until Wednesday. Go get your bragging in.


Sunday, April 04, 2010

Mets Challenge: Make Us superfun contest

                                                       Too soon for these jokes?

So I hear J-Jenr-ry "Gift of the" Mejia will be pitching relief with the Mets big club instead of doing whatever it is the most vocal of the fanbase wants them to do with him (keep him in the minors to develop so Omar can destroy his value and trade him for peanuts in the future).

Big deal.

The Mets organization is rushing a prospect.

Don't get me wrong, I'd like to get excited about this injustice, like some of my favorite writers of things Mets are doing. But, since I'm not paid to do so, I can't seem to do it. Yes, the Mets are mismanaging their assets. Yes, this kid could have a great future (yawn). But, I guess it's like this. There are just too many problems for this one to really deserve the attention it is getting (just take a look at the list of guys going north with the big club). It seems to me that the excessive outrage--the Mejia-mania--is symptomatic of Mets fans loosing all perspective. They want so badly to care again, but the club has given them nothing to care about.  After  3 plus years with no management and no real prospects for change, Mets fans are like castaways holding on to some driftwood and bobbing up and down, lost at sea, thinking of fresh water and dreaming of eating each other. And man, that really really looks like land over there. They're fixated on buying the high test gas and polishing the hood ornament when the car is bellowing white smoke (that's the bad kind) and the interior smells of spoiled watermelon. See, you need a lot of metaphors to work through this thing. 

I think the club has bigger problems. At this point, the product the organization is running out there inspires nothing but resignation or spite in its most dedicated fans. Reading the tea leaves, its hard to avoid the conclusion that fans are going to be deserting this club soon in droves.  It doesn't matter much to me, since I'm stuck with them, but that sound the Wilpons hear is all the post-2006 bandwagon Mets fans charging Yankees World Championship commemorative items (hat tip to Chipper Jones).

After the newer fans install their Mariano screen savers, the more hardcore Mets fans are next. No they won't abandon the team completely, but in karmic terms, their support will be muted. And karma, as we know, is a beach.  Next, blog traffic will die down a bit. Football season will seem to come a little earlier.

On the eve of the 2010 season, I sense less interest in the force. My own personal behavior is not representative of all fans, but:
I have not purchased a single ticket. (I am an out-of-town fan, but my norm is 3 cities, 3 series a season)
I have not subscribed to so-called "Extra Innings" or that buggy internet service the MLB has. Yet.
I have no plans to go to Citi.
I haven't read a single page of any of the proliferating Mets "Annuals" (well, to be fair I also haven't received my free copies yet)
I am not really excited to watch this team, despite the names being thrown around: Blanco, Jacobs, Matthews Jr., Catalanotto. These guys certainly do not light up a room.

Where were the stories that would interest a fan this spring? Many fans spent the winter castigating Omar for signing Jason Bay, and others spent the time trying to calculate how it was even possible for a GM not to sign a single front-line pitcher to bolster the rotation.  Then the boring spring hit and basically, the dumbness got bigger, the patient got worse, and future looked more futile. Beltran took matters into his own (doctor's) hands. Pedreadful Feliciano wants to be a set up guy. Jose Reyes. And after all that work put in by Keith Hernandez, we may never see Daniel Murphy again.  Man, can someone please take a piss on a Palm Beach pizza place?

Make us care, Mets. Make us care.

Announcing the Homestand Housecleaning or Holiday Inn Housecleaning? Contest

The Rules:
It's easy to play! Post your guess as to when the Wilpons will make their first major firing of the season in the comments section. "Major" meaning from coaches on up to GM (wait, does this team have a GM? I'll have to check and get back to you). All you have to do is guess which series (e.g. "the Dodgers in July"), not a specific game. Will they do it late night West Coast style?  Will they fire Jerry and leave him in Art Howe purgatory? If the sackings come on an off day or during the All-Star break, we'll go to a tie breaker, so include in your guess the team the Mets will be facing when Jason Bay's knee explodes (just the team name, not the dates of the's so easy!).  Feel free to embellish your prediction with details of what bumbling mess the Mets brass will perpetrate presently.

The fan who guesses the correct series will have the honor of me working their name into every post I make for an entire month. Just think of it! YOUR name scrawling oddly across SportSpyder, and occasionally on Ball Hype.  Or, alternatively, if that's what you're into, YOUR name, totally anonymously taking up the title space of the premier backwater novelty sports blog devoted to the NY Mets!

As they say in the internet, "thats rediculous!"

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.