It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Top 10 Additional Distractions Omar Could Provide Metsfans
Ah, symbolism. Picture stolen from AP and here.

Despite his recent comments, the last thing Omar Minaya should apologize for is "distracting" us from this season. Here are some other suggested actions the Mets GM could take to lift the mood of the fanbase:

10. Lower Citifield ticket prices 20-40%, just like a sale at Macy's, only the product is not useful or desirable
9 . Fire himself at 2 AM on next Western road trip (Arizona will do)
8. Give the first 10,000 fans a complementary Angel Berroa
7. Two words: More pressers!
6. No more call-ups with negative, sad, downer names, like Cancel, Dessens, or Takahashi.
5. Add Branch Rickey Terrace and Pee Wee Reese Pavilion to Citi's Robinson Rotunda for remaining unsatisfied Brooklyn Dodger fans
4. Call up at least two more catchers; fans love backstops!
3. Make trade for Derek Jeter
2. Transform Citifield's kiddie wiffleball court into America's first ballpark strip club
1. Ralph Kiner-Steve Phillips steel-cage death match. Weapons: Kiner gets a chainsaw and bag of urine, and Phillips a lawn chair and chicken feathers

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  • At 5:07 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I would not even give him the lawn chair. How about no pants and a dead pigeon?

  • At 10:48 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    no pants-- i think that's part of the problem he had with interns while with the mets!

  • At 4:40 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    did you ever see how unatractive that woman was? it must have been love.

  • At 5:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    IMFM - I love you man, you're the best.

  • At 8:21 AM, Blogger metsfanincincy said…

    You could give Asshat Phillips the chainsaw and Ralphie would still kick his arrogant, uptight, moronic, pansy douchebag ass.

  • At 3:47 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    As Peggy Lee once said after having sex with Omar Minaya - Is that all there is?

  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    then let's keep dancing.


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