Top 10 Additional Distractions Omar Could Provide Metsfans
Ah, symbolism. Picture stolen from AP and here.
Despite his recent comments, the last thing Omar Minaya should apologize for is "distracting" us from this season. Here are some other suggested actions the Mets GM could take to lift the mood of the fanbase:
10. Lower Citifield ticket prices 20-40%, just like a sale at Macy's, only the product is not useful or desirable
9 . Fire himself at 2 AM on next Western road trip (Arizona will do)
8. Give the first 10,000 fans a complementary Angel Berroa
7. Two words: More pressers!
6. No more call-ups with negative, sad, downer names, like Cancel, Dessens, or Takahashi.
5. Add Branch Rickey Terrace and Pee Wee Reese Pavilion to Citi's Robinson Rotunda for remaining unsatisfied Brooklyn Dodger fans
4. Call up at least two more catchers; fans love backstops!
3. Make trade for Derek Jeter
2. Transform Citifield's kiddie wiffleball court into America's first ballpark strip club
1. Ralph Kiner-Steve Phillips steel-cage death match. Weapons: Kiner gets a chainsaw and bag of urine, and Phillips a lawn chair and chicken feathers
Labels: DohMar, driven to distraction, Metastrophe III, pack a bag, Top 10
posted by I.M. Forme @ 9:05 AM
7 Comments:
At 5:07 PM,
jdon said…
I would not even give him the lawn chair. How about no pants and a dead pigeon?
At 10:48 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
no pants-- i think that's part of the problem he had with interns while with the mets!
At 4:40 AM,
jdon said…
did you ever see how unatractive that woman was? it must have been love.
At 5:40 AM,
Anonymous said…
IMFM - I love you man, you're the best.
At 8:21 AM,
metsfanincincy said…
You could give Asshat Phillips the chainsaw and Ralphie would still kick his arrogant, uptight, moronic, pansy douchebag ass.
At 3:47 PM,
cver said…
As Peggy Lee once said after having sex with Omar Minaya - Is that all there is?
At 10:26 AM,
I.M. Forme said…
then let's keep dancing.
Post a Comment
<< Home