Berna-Bizarre! Top 10 Unreported Tony Bernazard Attacks
Fully clothed former Mets VP of Player Development minutes before an attack.
Everyone knows that in his time with the Mets, Tony Bernazard brought a much needed macho lunatic perspective to his job as guardian of the club's mostly barren farm system and special consultant on hiring, firing and office party planning for Sterling Inc. But what is less widely known are the many instances in his private life when he has challenged the world to do better. Here then, are some of the most notable Bernazard belligerencies:
10. Accompanied by his son, Bernazard attacked Mets third base coach Razor Shines during a spring training game when he interpreted Shines' windmill motion as an offensive hand sign.
9. Challenged then NY Senatorial candidate Hillary Clinton to "bake off."
8. Naked, save for strategically placed pasties, Bernazard out-danced entire cast of Sha-na-na... when he was only 12!
7. Performed "razor blade" dance of death ritual with Hugo Chavez.
6. Kicked Girl Scout Troop 14 table over when informed of Thin Mints sell out.
5. Challenged Lenny Dykstra to pie eating contest for sitting in his booth at Countytown Buffet
4. Lashed out at local Long Island business media when they covered the failure of "Los Loaves" his Latin-themed bakery start-up.
3. Dismembered pet Yorkshire Terrier who wouldn't "take him seriously"
2. Screaming "what don't you f**in understand" at "f*cking amateurs" for distracting him during takes on the set of Terminator 5.
1. Removed pants and wrestled bear to a near standstill on picnic date with Jeffrey Wilpon.