It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Hampton, Matsui, Keppinger Star in Mets Game

The humiliations never cease. When Mike "School Systems" Hampton drove an 83 mph Johan Santana change up (?) out of Orange Juice Park tonight, I knew there was no (baseball) god.

Why throw a good hitting pitcher a change up meatball? I dunno, but then I'm not a highly remunerated star pitcher for the NY Metropolitans. I am also not qualified to coach third base for said baseball club, but clearly, neither is Razor Shines, who in the game's other highlight, sent Frenchy to certain doom to be gunned down by the Astros' mouth-breathing right fielder, Hunting Pants. Metfan fave Frenchy, who from where I sat, swerved at the last instant to avoid a full old-timer-when-men-were-men style collision with a de-roided and much deflated Pudge Rodriguez, thus not scoring what turned out to be a very important non-run. Francouer got "pantsed." With the scarce few Met players actually rounding third base these days, Shines is just plain meticulous in the way he squanders runs. He has no instincts for his job, routinely getting them mauled at the plate by 10 feet if not 20. He is like an activities director at a cliff-side camp for Lemmings. But that's old news.

This all happened and...I was there. Just like the humiliation last season in the series against Houston, and just like the failure at Dodger Stadium this season, I was there in person to drink in the massive, cascading, abysmal failure. Defensively it was a typical Mets game with misplays and mental errors galore, Murphy and Santana both threw away balls that I don't think led to runs but were hard to watch. But our best pitcher (who's declining performances have yet to raise even the slightest alarm amongst the Mets crackerjack training staff) gave up a decisive home run to a charter member of the Mets rouges gallery, the hated, beady-eyed traitor Mike Hampton. Hampton sucked, but unfortunately, Santana sucked louder.

If there is ever someone in the history of human life who hit more patented double play balls than Fernando Tatis, I remain skeptical. Tatis hits into double plays when there are two outs. There is precisely no reason for him to be on a major league ball club at this point in time. When Tatis bats, if he must continue to play, and there is a man on first, that runner must attempt a steal on the very first pitch if the Mets are to avoid being doubled up.

Some images from the game:

Rare, and suitable for framing.

Batting average can tell you things about a player.


Just one more kick in the crotch.

It's not Omir Santos' fault the Mets don't surround him with supporting talent.

Keith doesn't know what to think.

The Mets' stars stare in the direction of the space where Johan just flipped the ball instead of tagging the runner.

The Mets have a better chance in the Battle of the Bands contest than they do of winning a single game of this series.

Labels: ,


  • At 2:49 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    There is no reason to retain Tatis. Of course, there is no reason to retain Bernazard. One thing the mets do is retain. Or acquire rejects like Berroa, who batted baout a hundred for the Yankees. The real question is, what are you doing in Houston? Traveling to met games? These Mets? I would not go to see these Mets in person if they were playing in my kitchen. As for Santana, the thing I have seen all year is that his location is terrible. So many hangers. I think he is sore, or hurt slightly. Not enough to make a DL, perhaps, but not physically right. On the mets you have to have a limb hanging by a thread from your torso to hit the DL. But something. I hope I am wrong and he just stinks. Either that or his mechanics have gone south. He has been Mr. Meatball a lot this year. Don't you just love all this silence as Bernazard is investigated for an incident that the Mets know occurred two weeks ago? An independent investigator. Maybe they have Dog the Bounty Hunter on the case. Oh well. Get out of Houston now before you might find yourself at another mets game.

  • At 6:14 AM, Anonymous James K. said…

    Awesome pics - zoom camera?

    Tatis needs to go. Bring Evans up and see what he can do the rest of the season.

  • At 7:36 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    i am going to the next two games. sigh. this used to be fun.

    I think it is reasonable to worry about Johan. Mostly because he'll bull dog through it and the training staff will be oblivious.

    I am using my parents' camera that has a nifty zoom and image stabilizer.

    Yeah, I'd rather watch Evans, he does some things. Plus he can console Murph as the Irish Hammer continues to take one step forward one step back (nice stab, throw away ball, gets a hit, strikes out swinging-ugly three times).

  • At 10:24 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    IMFM, you are at games in Houston. Are you secretly Keith Hernandez's long lost relative? I don't know if you heard, but on the broadcast, Keith told the story of his parents meeting in Houston and, since his father was a minor leaguer there, they were married at home plate at that old park. Congratulations - you finally got to see a no-doubt-about it (except for that's never really true anymore) Met win! And double-digit runs produced, not only one HR but two and one by our long-lost slugger Mr. Wright. And hopefully, also some history if either this was Niese's first big game on the road to being a solid starter or if you've just seen the first two games of Omir Santos historic consecutive games homer streak. Have a nice trip down there and keep cool!

  • At 11:25 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Hi Cver, thanks. I like to think i live my life with the poise, joie de vivre, and occasional embarrassing verbal adventures of a Keith Hernandez but no, sadly we are unrelated.

    Jon Niese made my month.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.