Pelf No Help, Mets Dessens into Another Dispiriting Month of Failure

the SS Minaya '09 rests easy on the ocean floor.

The treatment the Dodgers received upon their first visit to the House that Fred Wilpon Built for them was very hospitable indeed, and the Mets rolled over like perfect hosts. However, I don't think the Dodgers are going to take him up on his offer and move to Flushing, so Fred will now realize he has to go to plan B, planting palm trees, kidnapping Vin Scully and releasing hundreds of beach balls during the game. Alas, the impending series and season sweep, though it will boost LA's playoff hopes, will not get Fred's true blue love to reconsider.


Fred Wilpon to Dodgers: Just what do I have to do to get you back?

Watching the Mets, who score a run once a week whether they need it or not, has been torture since May. Knowing that everyone forced to watch is in pain is the only comfort for those of us who had to listen to douchelords who "man" the KCAL 9 booth here in LA last night, Eric Collins and the disgrace named Steve Lyons. Inaccuracies don't bother "little man" announcers like this. According to them, the Mets have recently "fallen out of first place," "play at Citypark," and "Tim Redding was moved to the pen to make room for Oliver Perez." The drop off from Vin Scully to these clowns is like the fall, uh, from Manny Ramirez to Nick Evans. You know this type of broadcaster, who seems to think the success of the team they cover reflects on them, and who's chatter revolves around things important allegedly told them, and macho "are you gonna take that" sort of nonsense. By the 9th, these dopes were mocking David Wright for looking like Clarice from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Well no matter, soon Mets fans will be turning their attention to more important things.


David Wright poses with Livan Hernandez' fastball.

But if you are still watching, you do have to watch carefully to appreciate the artistry the Mets display in doing all the little things...wrong. Luis Castillo's throw pulls "1st baseman" Tatis Ta-terrible off the bag, and the track runner ex-Br*ve Furcal scores on the next play. On that next play, "left fielder" Nick Evans flails his short little arms but lets a catchable ball fall in over his head for two runs. David Wright bobbles a probable double play in the fourth. Of course, they also get the big things wrong.

It may be unfair, but since he is the Mets last remaining star position player all the flaws in David Wright's game are getting exposed. His pansy arm, bobbles and double clutches make it so obvious the Mets would be better off with him at second base.

Speaking of fairness, is it really fair that the Dodgers have been able to put such a good team together? They have made some gigantic blunders in the past few years, the Juan Pierres, the Andrwuu Jwones. But they seem to have overcome those problems, perhaps because they have a plan. They took a chance on Manny, and some people might say they got a raw deal. Those some people should be watching July through October when Manny makes this LA team damn near unbeatable. In case you're wondering what the Mets, who had no use for a player like Manny Ramirez, did, well Omar re-signed Oliver Perez, signed a "closer" and traded for an injured set up man, leaving the "offense" be. That's what Omar did.

The Dodgers could have pooped on the field and came out looking like a million bucks last night. But in the not so classy dept., Joe "Corpse" Torre just had to use both Claudio Vargas and Guillermo Mota against the Mets? Say it ain't so, Joe. Have you no respect for Ebbets Field? Low blow.

The Dodgers can play defense. They actually have a catcher. They have a well-rested offensive-RBI machine-force in their lineup. They have plenty of good young players they allowed to mature. Their manager, when awake, seems to "manage his men" well. The Dodgers have promising young pitchers like Clayton Kershaw who dismantled the Mets last night with out breaking a sweat. The Mets young pitchers share qualities too: they throw a ton of pitches and have no out pitch. Pelfrey threw 678 pitches in the first two innings alone. Cue Elmer Fudd Dessens, and a parade of other retreads.

So if you wondered what the Mets would do for an encore after blowing our minds the last three years, the answer has become clear: welcome to purgatory. No flame out this time. No one connected with the Mets--not their GM, their manager, their stars, their scrubs--is doing their job. No one is accountable. And there is nothing that can be done. The only good thing to come of this season is that the greedy Wilpons will be getting what is coming to them for the sneaky price gouging of the last two seasons: empty, empty seats.

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What f*cking planet is William Rhoden of the NY Times from?

There has been talk in the wake of the Mets’ continued sputtering that the team should have gone hard after Ramirez in the off-season, when he was a free agent. But signing him would have been a colossal blunder.

Despite the Mets’ 2009 swoon, there is general acknowledgment that the team, while playing without three key everyday players, is at least playing with some heart. Ramirez takes away that underdog veneer. It’s one thing to be in third place with three of your position players injured, but it’s quite another to be in third place because Manny Ramirez received a drug suspension and can’t play. That one won’t evoke any sympathy.

"Underdog veneer?" I would sacrifice Tim Redding on an alter made of Nick Evanses for Manny to be coming back to the Mets now after a 50 game vacation, just in time for a playoff run and signed for another year at bargain basement prices. Manny barely played yesterday and still accounted for a good deal of the Dodgers runs. I am convinced he could hit the Mets into contention even without Beltran and Reyes. Hell, the Philadelphia club won the world series last season with the help of a pitcher on PEDs.

After two consecutive season-ending collapses, the Mets needed that?

Minaya may be receiving criticism for some of the team’s shortcomings, but had be signed Ramirez, then endured the drug revelation, he would have been lambasted without mercy.

Hell yeah, the Mets needed that. because Manny can change a game with a swing of his bat and the Mets have absolutely no one else who can do that.

Rhoden seems to think that Omar would have really heard about it if he had signed Manny only for him to get caught cheating. Who cares? This team needs and needed offense, and instead of Manny, Omar got "some pitching" (his words) and re-upped at a premium power position with Carlos Creeky Delgado who has looked done most of the time for a few years now. Rhoden has been smoking something serious if he thinks the present team is "evoking sympathy." I don't give a flying fuck about the Wilpon's money or Omar's embarrassment. I don't think there's a more embarrassing or humiliated franchise out there right now.

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Tomorrow night, the return of Oliver Perez. The Mets have been dreadful since May, but look for this to be the season's official low point. Sleep well my friends.