It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Mauling in Milwaukee
What the Won'tpons see when they look at their team.

I don't know what is going on with the Milwaukee municipal services, but how long is it going to take for the police to respond to what just happened tonight?

I've identified several suspects:

But my calls to Milwaukee's finest went unanswered. 911 is a joke!

It's so hard to pick a low point of this game, but I can tell you that the Mets remaining 2 stars led the way!! Shitty defense from Santos, Martinez, Evans surprises no one. But Johan apparently decided to follow Frank and David's lead, and lead this team of bozos by example. By example meaning pitching shitty, walking the pitcher and throwing the ball away. Not to be outdone, Wright and his sissy arm threw away another one in the 6th. Santana has been so hittable lately, no one would blame you if you assumed a massive injury. Of course the Mets' brass isn't smart enough to know that Santana would try to tough it out, so this will probably compound until his career is threatened. But he's got to be injured. We read his lips wrong a few weeks ago, he wasn't saying "I'm a man, I'm a man" he was saying "Its my hammy, Broke my hand."

Willie Randolph enjoyed this. How do I know? Because during the FSBrewers in-game interview in the 5th inning, Willie gloated that yeah, it was "a little bit sweeter" to be walloping the Mets. No, we can not bring our hearts in for microfracture surgery.

After watching the latest defensive, offensive and pitching implosion of the Flailing Flushing Failures tonight (a match that certainly has to be entered in the competition for worst game of the season), many of you are thinking that the best word that captures the Mets chances for 2009 is rebuilding. I prefer to see it this way: the Mets season is now a tour to restore confidence to each team that has been down in the dumps, and it doesn't matter if you're mighty New York or middling Milwaukee. The Mets are like little fairies that visit in the night, to spread their dust on your bats and pitching staffs. The Brewers would have to have dismantled their pitching staff much more than they did if they wanted to have a chance at losing to these Mets!! They retained the services of the immortal Mike Burns after all.

But who can get mad at the Brewers? According to David Lennon, the Brewers even retrieved F-Mart's first homerun ("F-bomb" as the kids are calling it):

Brewers rightfielder Corey Hart called out to the fans in the bleachers to retrieve the ball and they threw it back to him. Hart then threw it in so Martinez would have the memento for his trophy case.

Awww. That's classy.

Anyhow, fans increasingly have nowhere to turn in the face of indignity after indignity. Can't fault the opposition for accepting the gift packaged wins every night--they have to put food on their families too. The team of scrubs we support isn't technically underperforming. Yes, the GM sucks and the manager shows flashes of incompetence, but that's getting boring. Appealing to pride? Hahahaha. And no one really believes a trade will help this team. Some deluded souls think it'll be better when we get all those great stars back. I wish I was one of them.

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  • At 4:33 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    This team is horribly constructed. It has four Tier One type players in its offensive lineup and zero Tier 2's. It may not even have Tier 3's. As for pitching, it has two Tier 1's and a lot of guys named Joe. Maine and Perez are ridiculously overrated. Pelfrey is a nut case. I fully expect him to start licking his balls on the mound sometime soon. The pitching, though, has been passable. A solid number 2 is esential, and of course, Omar signed one in Ollie (yuk yuk). As I have been saying for years, this offense is the major problem, even when everyone is healthy. You can add up total runs if you want, but a great offense can get runs when it needs them desperately, and that is when our offense never gets them. Where are the worker bees in this lineup? We have too many throwaway innings. Let's face it: Ryan Church stinks, Castillo and Cora stink. Murphy has stunk. Schneider, we know, stinks. There is no quality of any kind after the big four, and none on the way.

  • At 11:33 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    To inject a note of positivity, I can't remember a time when bad luck collided so violently with crappy team construction and losing off-season gambles. We're getting a career year out of Beltran and now he is sidelined til the Mo Vaughn's come home. When I'm done vomiting at the prospect of Beltran's lost season, and Johan's possible physical issue, will I still have enough vomit left for the way Omar could get a pass bc of all the injuries? Ok that wasn't as positive as I thought.

  • At 12:55 PM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Has there ever been a player who led the league in hitting yet with such unbearably shite inconsistency as Wright? And it's not just this hit-em-when-there's-no-one-on-base-strike-out-when-there-is maddening sort of inconsistency but even throwing the ball for crissakes. He's the streakiest human being on earth, I think. Is his head really in the game? Would he fetch some reasonably consistent players in return? And Reyes too, let him play half speed the rest of the season (if he EVER makes it back from his season long hamstring pout) so he doesn't get hurt again and trade him away to someone dumb enough to have him. The best thing is, the more you want to completely dismantle this team the more certain you can be that Silent Omar and his Ownership Lackies will stand pat and tell us how great everything is.

  • At 7:50 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    But Reyes is invaluable. The Phillies would not have won the series last year without him. Neither would the Red Sox in 2007 or the Cardinals in 2006. Wright a superstar. A compiler yes, but he does not strike fear into the hearts of pitchers. Without his protection he is just another guy. The Mets have missed the mark on all counts. I would not mind opacking it in this season and saying "Sell" but everything we have to sell is on the DL!


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.