It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Stink Pen: Parnell and Pals Parlay Another Possible Mets Win into Painful Pounding
"To all you fathers out there... avert your eyes...the Mets are on and they are unwatchable"

How bad is it?

So bad that Greg over at FAFIF is "beginning to think Brian Schneider deserves to be traded to a contender." I think that's apt, and I would add that, if the Mets stars weren't all injured or about to be injured, some of them should be demanding trades. It seems that only football stars "demand" trades anymore; perhaps baseball players realize they are paid so well for what is a relative easy job that it doesn't cross their minds. As it is, Sterling will soon be sending out emails urging fans to come out on "MRI-Monday" to take in a spectacle of the Mets as they attempt a variety of replacement-level heroics.

Which reminds me, it's that time again: someone needs to go down and make sure Oliver Perez doesn't get too healthy if you know what I mean.

No one can fault you if you find the Mets recent bullpen problems somewhat of a shock. After all, the Mets GM did spend his winter fixing the pen up oh so nice, trading for an injured set-up man and acquiring a demonstrative setter of records. That's what I was told. The aging and impotent offense, which Omar purposefully did nothing about, is not such a surprise. Those two facets of this lovely club combined once again to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory on Father's Day of all days.

Perhaps the baseball gods punished us all for SNY's sin of not having Ralph Kiner in the booth on Fathers Day to wish all Mothers a Happy Easter or something.

Towards the end of this game, I suddenly realized why I only see those ads for TEXT 542 542 on Mets broadcasts. This is the absurd company selling answers in the age of the iPhone. But their plan must be to entice us to ask the kinds of eternal question we just can't google away: “Why are the Mets so terrible?”


Imagine my surprise when my phone rang during today's rain delay and I saw this. Believe me, they have no reason to call me. I have never purchased tickets to the Ted Turner Terrordome even to see the Mets. I wouldn't set foot in Atlanta unless chased there. Unless...the Br*ves are watching the Mets play and, temporarily unable to compete on the ballfield, are now calling us individually to mock us. Or recruit us?

Tatis, as I predicted when Omar resigned him, is no more than a warm body. Nice guy, but obviously wasn't going to be playing better or as good as he did last year. However, he has made one admirable contribution to the Mets atmosphere this year.



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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.