Choking Mets Choke It All Over the Choking Place

We already know which of these two fellas has the deeper voice, but which guy has the better arm?

Think I'm being too harsh? After all, these replaceMets can hardly be expected to keep up with the mighty Yankee$, right? Why am I playing the choke card now, when they haven't even begun to wheeze and gag?

It's the way that they do it. When the Mets fall apart with shitty pitching and multiple errors, that's called Mets baseball. When they completely fall apart in abnormally humiliating clusterfuck fashion, they must be playing the Yankees. When the umps get in the act (you call that an infield fly rule?) well, that's history baby. First base chUmpire Chris Guccioni's back pocket must have been nice and plump with the envelope of cash the Yankers gave him (a bad investment, given the Mets preference to give runs away for free) for senselessly ringing up Mets who actually might have gotten on against Sabathia.

I hate that they get all nervous, instead of taking their lumps with quiet dignity. Wright yips it up. Cora throws away a double play ball. Evans invents a new error, the first base bobble-de-fuck. Pelfrey gives it up to the pitcher and the Spanks bat around. Sure, Pelfrey got dinked to death in the 2nd, but I excuse myself for being disgusted at Pelfrey for giving up a hit to the pitcher. Pelf doesn't seem to be learning to pitch. I'm fed up. Lose with integrity, you bozos!!

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More random bitching.

Darling talked about how Pelfrey doesn't use his secondary pitches early and then pays for it when hitters sit on his sinker. Predictable Pelfrey. What is it that Dan Warthen does again?

FERNANDO TATIS CONTINUES TO PLAY EVERY DAY, and yet Obama does nothing.

The Mets are admitting that Oliver Perez' knee is no longer a problem. That seems like a dumb move. There's pain in the John Maine--Perez plays with no Braainn!

I spent most of the game trying to decide who had oranger skin and/or less likable personality, Alex Rodriguez or his new lady, Kate Hudson, who was watching from the (empty) expensive seats. I came to no conclusions.

In what is certainly not a scoop, Scoop Jackson is urging Pedro to call it quits permanently.

During the part of the SNY broadcast I was awake for, Keith called Cowbell Man "the guy that makes all that racket." I'm with Mex, the Won'tpons (as Jdon calls them) did something right if they designed $itifield so as to make this nuisance's presence less palpable... Keith then yawned while Ron explained pitching grips in the 6th. He just does or says whatever he wants and it's charming, kind of like a mustached IMFM.

The Yankers are definitely inviting the Mets to their next birthday party. Struggling for runs? Get healthy against the Mutts! Professional baseball players know that every team has a bad day and are probably pretty empathetic when they beat the crap out of the other guys, but you just know you can add the Spankers to the list of teams that knows it is "in the Mets heads." That list is headed by the Philmes and the Fish. Coincidentally, this list--of who the Mets can't seem to get up for playing--contains most of Metsfans most hated Met enemies. That's the kind of team we have.