It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, October 15, 2007

Top Ten Things We May Be Tempted to Do with Our CitiField Bricks


Unable to resist the urge to send the Wilpons as much of our money as they request, many fans purchased a CitiField Fan Walk commemorative brick this past week. We didn't even bristle when we noticed that the Mets shamelessly added a $5 "convenience fee" to the $195 sticker price. We're suckers, you say? Hardly. We've already started planning for what we will do with our bricks.



10. send it through the shop window of Sterling Enterprises with warning note

9. give it to Lastings Milledge, he'll know what to do with it

8. use it to build access ramp for Moises Alou and other elders Omar signs

7. put it under Louis Castillo's bad leg for support

6. build brick sh*thouse for sh*ttyfield (they're going to call it that anyway)

5. paperweight for many "Dear Fan" apology letters from front office

4. use it as seat since Citi Field will only hold 45,000

3. incorporate brick into cool, carefree dugout dance move

2. make a sturdy coaster for $13 Citi Field beer

1. tie it to Philly Phanatic's leg, put Phanatic in trunk, drive to nearest pier, see what happens



that's right, thugs are known to be adept with bricks!

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10 Comments:

  • At 10:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    um, can you explain that lastings milledge comment? i get it's supposed to be funny, but right now you just seem like a total racist idiot.

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    blah blah blah.

    1. LMilz promotes an image of himself as a gangsta
    2. Gangsta's is known to be dangerous
    3. I didn't dress LMilz as a gangsta.
    4. don't blame me for making fun of him
    5. go away

    hey and don't take offense, some of my best friends are anonymous race-card playing trolls...

     
  • At 4:16 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Take my offense, please!

    Henny Youngman

    Seriously, shameless is right, in regards to this Brick Shit.

     
  • At 5:39 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    waka waka waka. Fozzie Bear said that.
    maybe i'll just use the brick to bash my own brains in. I said that. sigh.

     
  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger springsandra said…

    Why do I want one of those stupid bricks? ::sigh:: I just can't see it as being economically reasonable. Probably because it just isn't.

     
  • At 8:36 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    sandra, do what i did, fill out the form with all your credit card info, then ponder it for a day, think how ridiculous it is, and close your browser. then mention it to your significant other and see what happens!

     
  • At 4:27 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Breaking Story from Fox News!

    Mets hire new hitting coach - Joseph Torre!

     
  • At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Constnza81 said…

    As aways, exactly list. I wonder if anyone else out there makes a business out of these top 10 lists.

    Cheers to itsmetsforme and his racist blog.

     
  • At 11:28 PM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Dear Mr Racist Idiot,

    I'm disgusted that all of the names panned in your list were either African American or Hispanic and yet you never said you would use a brick to smash David Wright's crocheting fingers or to give a brick to Sonia Lo Duca and point her in the direction of Paul's Private Parts or a brick to knock out the rest of Tom Glavine's Brave-coloured teeth or a brick smashed into Billy Wagner's gullet to help him with his choking problem or a brick for every white has-been that Omar signs to offset the Latino has-beens he signs or a brick against racism or a brick for Tom Seaver to build a new wine cellar...
    I'm so disgusted I hereby cancel my subscription! Gimme my money back and don't pay me in Confederate coins!

     
  • At 10:57 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Constnza, i actually did more than introduce the top ten list to the mets blogging world, i invented the very concept of "list" altogether in the 1980s. I needed a way to keep track of all my racial and ethnic insensitivities, and rank them numerically for easy understanding. Later I also found this technique helpful for organizing my trips to the mall as well. My idea caught on in some circles, was appropriated by a certain late night talk show host, and the rest is history. Accept no cheap immitations.

    Jaap the check is in the mail. Please don't cash it immediately.

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.