Top Ten Reasons the Cardinals serve Coffee in the Dugout

Another day at the office: Fredbird molests some children.

10) Keep Carlos Delgado awake
9) Carafe actually contains Pujols’ steroid-laced bug juice
8) Because David Eckstein is a scrappy barista
7) St. Louis is fucking boring
6) Keeps Mookie Wilson awake
5) Mets bat boy called in muffin order, forgot coffee order
4) Because Derek Jeter sucks
3) Heard Trachsel was pitching
2) That coffee isn’t for drinking, that’s for Scott Spiezio’s coffee enema!
1) Years of having to listen to the Buck family drone on