It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, October 16, 2006

Ollie, by Golly, You did it!

I had to believe. So I did.

Believe that the Mets could get into the World Series with no starting pitching staff to speak of. Believe that the true, sucky Cardinals we love would reveal themselves, and would start making errors and giving up homeruns like the Mets hope they do. Yes!!

Let's revel in the details a bit:

To paraphrase Chris Rock (I think), looking around at the creepy Ned Flanders Redbird fans in the stands last night, I haven't seen that many white people dissappointed since M*A*S*H went off the air.

5th inning,
Green hits. Even Valentin gets on. Something's up here. That second baseman Belliard has the look of a guy that’s gonna be involved in some errors, and tonight he doesn’t disappoint.

Willie in a nutshell: Lets Ollie bat for himself with runners that need to be cashed in. I don’t know whether this comes off as confidence, or if Ollie gets lit up during the next half inning, arrogant incompetence.

Ollie in a nut-shell: Gives up a HR to Eckstein, strikes out Pujols. I flash forward to years of ripping my own hair out at “Ollie Time.” What are we gonna do with this guy?

6th inning, after the great Buntran works a key walk, Cards pitching coach Dave Duncan visits the mound to do The Jacket one better: no shoulder touch here, he puts his entire arm around his shell-shocked hurler. What’s next for these touchy guys? At the Pitching Coach 2007 Expo I heard you will be able to visit a booth devoted to tongue kissing, hair brushing and thigh massage.

Loopy’s 7th inning love note to Mets fans goes screaming off Beltran’s bat into the stands. Nice to have you back, Goofy Loopy. Hope to see you again soon.

Anyone else think its time for Willie to hold a little “Making leaping catchs at the wall to Steal Homeruns” practice? Maybe it’s unfair to say that Green, Beltran, and Endy should have caught some of those barely-out-of-here bombs, but there are two many balls bouncing off the top of the wall, ala Todd Zeile, for my tastes. Chalk it up to bad luck, but shouldn’t one or two of them been caught? Maybe the Mets need to break out that practice outfield wall they used in the Boys and Girls Club MLB commercials.

Endy not looking to good against lefties.Who looked worse at the plate tonight, Endy or Oliver Perez? Too close to call.

Favorite game moment. About-to-be-left-for-dead Stash makes it 11-3 in the 6th, giving TIMMY McCarver the opportunity to recite his canned line: “St. Louis Blues in a NY minute.” Joe Buck, depressed at his receding hairline, beloved Cardinals’ performance or both, doesn’t even fake laughter.

Memo to pitching staff: Keep hitting Eckstein. When you go 3-0, 3-1 on him, just hit him, preferably in the lower body. You know why.

Memo to Willie: Have a Game 7? Darrin Oliver or loose a fan.

For anyone interested, I have just added Steve Trachsel's name to those that cannot be spoken (typed). He can never be named again.

From now on, he is Tr*chsel.

It's a big moment for me, as I have always enjoyed riffing on his name, ala Trash-on-the-hill, or Trash-hell, or just plane Trashy. I know it's juvenile, but its fun.

For those keeping score, the list of unmentionables is thus:

Thank you for your support.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.