It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Mets Stand Pat on the Mound, Help Fish to Misch the Playoffs
Ground Guppy stadium was rocking, as usual, for the Mets visit

It's been a while folks, but since Florida Marlins fan(s) make up the most vocal part of my fanbase, I think I owe it to you to comment on Misch's majestic Marlin mangle. I have done my research on this Marlins franchise, and conclude that the humiliation of losing to the Mets couldn't have happened to a more deserving team or its deluded fans, some of whom think Misty May Treanor is attractive. For once, it's the Teal Terrors playing semi-meaningful baseball in September and getting their hopes well, not entirely spoiled, but at least a bit soured.
Cody Ross sprints away from the "support same-sex marriage" day festivities so he can ready himself for his float in the pending parade.

After enduring another one of John Maine's increasingly depressing outings, it's nice to take in a showcase outing of the jewel of the NY Mets pitching corps and future #2 starter, Pat Misch.

I doubt that the shell-shocked impostor-scrubs that strap on the blue and orange gear these days have any notion of what the Fish have done to the Mets (or at least enabled the Mets and douches like Tom Gl*vine to do to themselves) in the recent past, but it's worth noting that in a season like this, the Mets taking 2 of 3 from a team that fancies itself a 2009 playoff possibility has to count as a season high-point.

But this key series isn't all the Mets have taken from the Fish. Now that the Mets have taken over the responsibilities of National League East laughingstock, the Marlins are without an identity. Yes, Jeffrey Loria's revenue-sharing hoarding venture is going to have to find a new sense of purpose.
The Marlins proudly offer many ballpark amenities: sunstroke, peanuts, and daytime prostitutes.

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Monday, September 14, 2009

Cascading Systemic Failure Means the Mets Must Rebuild Shea
These guys got out of there just in time.

Ah, the runes foretold that Pedro Martinez would sign with the Phillies and beat the MEts handily in a late season game. And now it is done, in what must be the final humiliation of the 2009 season. The prophets just didn't know it would come in a meaningless game because even seers didn't realize how incompetent Omar Minaya is, or how badly the Mets would feel the curse of Shea. (And even holy men have no answer to the question, why did Daniel Murphy try with 2 outs in a one run game to take third tonight?)

Pedro handled the Mets' pathetic offense like one tosses a midget in celebrations. Which reminds me...
Even the curse of Pedro's midget was no match for the powerful hex of Shea stadium when Pedro took on the Shmets.

The Mets have fumbled and bumbled at every single point this season. The incompetence doesn't just extend from foul pole to foul pole. They fucked up the transition from Shea to their new home: Citifield really is shitty field (from the Post courtesy of CSTB). It's so bad, that apparently even Hitler can't take it anymore.

By the way, Newsday's tour of Mex's house is possibly the only good thing that happened to Metsfans this year and I direct you there.

There is nothing much to do from here on in, except ponder several questions, and wonder if there's anyway our luck could turn around in the next 2-3 years.

Are things going to get worse thanks to this guy? The Mets already mismanage the resources they have, what if they suddenly had fewer of these resources? Will the checkbook slam shut? Or could it force the franchise to become more efficient? Firing people (GMs and managers) costs money, so there's one clue as to whether this could be a blessing in disguise. More likely a curse in disguise.

Is there anything that can dislodge this useless bastard from the front office? The nepotism in the Mets bureaucracy may not be part of the problem, but things are so fucked up, who can tell? Even if his son isn't to blame, to be on the safe side, Wilpon Sr. (if he keeps the team) needs to hire somebody who knows a blessed thing about baseball. The piss poor decisions that have characterized the team's management on Jeffy Jrs' watch cannot continue. And if I remember correctly, and Jr. was in charge of the building of Citi, one has to wonder about the poor sight lines, ridiculous offense killing dimensions, and apparently rampant building flaws (linked above).
What if David Wright (pictured with his New Helmet bobble head) is in decline? Or what if he gets plunked again? Wright's season-long power outage and recent flailing (Saturday's game aside) seem way down on the worry list, but they're still there. There are serious doubts about Reyes, worries about Beltran, and who knows how Johan will recover from surgery. Wither Wright?

That is all.

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.