It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Oh Bay-bee!

Jason Bay is reported to be on his way to cashing a paycheck signed by a Wilpon, just the "splash" that NY fans are said to demand during the winter. Is having a real left fielder going to fix what ails this team? Probably not. And no one seems that impressed. But this is the Makeshift Mets, and beggar-fans can't be chooser-fans. Plus, without Bay, who will stand behind David Wright as opponent's club Mets pitching, and watch the hits soar over their heads?
Fans reassess Mets' playoff chances in 2010

I will optimistically chose to see this acquisition as an opportunity to give a big Burnitz-Bonilla welcome back to a former son. In the future, I hope to see the Mets continue along in this vein, and reclaim other products of their productive farm system, such as Scott K*zmir, Lastings M*llidge, and Jose Reyes.

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Friday, December 25, 2009

I Don't Gotta Believe

Christmas sucks for Mets fans and Jeff Franchise is here to prove it.

I am here to reminisce about that wonderful winter of 2001, when Jason Bay had yet to be traded from the Mets and when dreams took wing. Those were the days of $95 million payrolls, when Steve Phillips played rotisserie baseball before it was cool, the days when the Mets would back away from any player with a back problem, and that was our biggest problem.
Obligatory Steve Phillips' mistress photo.

The interwebs were just catching on in the sports world, and people still read the beat writers on the NY Post webpage. I remember clearly salivating over the prospect of Juan Gonzalez joining the Mets. Oh, what an offensive contribution he'd make. Plus, Juan's friends were saying things like:''Juan has never wanted anything more in his life than he wants" to be a Met.

The Mets thought it would be easy. After Juan Gonzalez said he wanted to join them, the Mets figured they would make the best offer, Gonzalez would take it, and their supersized lineup would have even more meat. Last night, the Mets learned, the story was too good to be true.

Of course, Juan Gone, probably high on the steroids at that very moment, bent Steve Phillips over and took Texas' offer instead. Phillips, who was probably fucking an intern at the time, didn't even really want Gonzalez. Stevo recovered nicely and put together the 2002 Mets, with Mo, Roberto, Jeromy, and Shawn Estes, who went 75-86, a record good for 5th place.

Flash forward to the waning days of the Omar Minaya regime. Minaya has done everything short of trading Tom Seaver to bury this franchise, and during this hot stove, most likely his last winter as a big league GM, he's taking the cautious route, with his cell phone thumb lodged securely in his ass. Of course, Omar's inactivity is arguably a good thing even though the Mets have more holes than a thing that has a lot of holes, since this market is dominated mostly by players that will be overpaid because of the weak competition, and since Omar not doing anything is a good thing. But I still feel some nostalgia for the time when the representatives of free agents would have their friends spread lies in the media about wanting to be a Met.

There's still plenty of time for things to get worse. There isn't a Metsfan alive who wants Benjie Molina's fat ass to don the Orange and Blue, and there are a few dead who don't want Omar to go to two years on the contract. Even if the Mets land Bay, widely seen as the suboptimal choice, they will probably end up bidding against themselves since all of the big players seem to have moved on.

But hey, Kelvim Escobar!!

So Happy Holidays!! Try not to think about the Mets!

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.