Top Ten Chapter Titles of Scott Bora$ Book on Oliver Perez

Item: the Mets are still considering re-signing Oliver Perez, who continues to sit on the market attracting little interest even though as you will recall, his agent, none-other-than Scott Boras, has penned a book about him. Here are some of the chapter titles Boras might have reconsidered if he wanted a Burnett-like free-agent feeding frenzy for Ollie, who he claims should be thought of in the same group as Koufax, Johan Santana, CC Sabathia, and Cy Young.

10. "The Day Ollie Forgot his Pants!"
9. “Perez Turns Corner in 2006, Runs into Wedding Cake Carried by some Friendly Clowns”
8. “Oliver Wins the Balsa Wood Boat Regatta at Cub Scout Troop 383 Scout Jamboree”
7. “A Rare Young Left-Handed Starting Pitcher, Available on the Free-Agent Market, and for Parties”
6. "Showers are for big boys!"
5. “Ollie shares a Cab with Johan and CC”
4. “Why was Billy So Mean to one of Baseball’s Top 5 Left-Handed Starting Pitchers?”
3. "Ollie is One of America's Next Top Models"
2. “Perez Eats Innings and also, a Credit Card Once Accidentally”
1. “Sure Perez Wants More Money Than God, But Not as Much as Zito"