It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Wotta bunch of revoltin' developments
It's clobbering time?!?

I may be the ever-lovin' blue-eyed IMFM, ready to clobber something, but there really isn't much going on for the Mets. The ideas, such as they are, floating around the Mets Blargosphere seem to follow this formula: report some batshit rumor with a blog headline every 15 minutes, and vehemently disagree or agree depending on which way the cold wind is blowing.Well there is the typical embarrassments that find the Mets no matter what they do ("Tax Payer Field"), we could talk about that some more. At the risk of being accused of negativism, for (what's left of) my money, the big "developments" seem to be:

1) Derek Lowe (abetted by Bora$) is out of his flippin' mind (see below).
2) Any K-Rod signing will eventually be a big mistake.
3) Ibanez is a possibility for Omar and that is, in the words of Stevie Ray Vaughn, a cold shot baby (Go here, do, for a video interpretation of what the Mets would get if they signed Ibenhad for the outfield--hint: it can do the splits). Omar's disturbing words about what a great person Raul is:

"Last year we did talk to them during the trading deadline about him," Minaya said. "Unfortunately, we were not able to get a trade done. We've heard very good reports about him, not only as a player, but as a person. I understand the Phillies, they're one of the teams that's considering him. We are also keeping an eye on that situation, even though we're focusing right now on pitching primarily. But he is a good player."

4) Are the Mets toying with the idea of Heilman as a starter? Unbelievable but possible. (Ok really more of a question than a development.)
5) Metsies don't have the chips to make more sensible trades for bullpen help
6) Is Adam Dunn such a bad idea?
7) The idea that either one of Hellman or Pedreadful could be on this team next season makes me sick.
8) Tatis and Figgy...almost there!!

How Omar's lack of action thus far strikes you depends on your point of view, and perhaps your prescripton drugs. Either Omar is following a Deng Xiaoping-like* Tao Guang Yang Hui (韬光养晦) strategy, a perhaps sinister bidding of time until he strikes, or we clearly headed for Metastrophe IV. Guess which position I take?

Wacky World of Wilpons
What the hell is going on in Metsland?

Speaking of positions, New York’s City Councilmen and Staten Island Republicans Vincent Ignizio and James Oddo's posturing over the naming rights of Citifield has gotten a lot of press. They propose renaming the park "Taxpayer Field." Why us? the Wilpies must be thinking, we're no greedier than many other clubs (ahem-PRICE HIKE BULLSHIT-cough). The Mets seem never to be able to make a not-ultimately-embarrassing decision (Willie Randolph, Tom Gl*vine, etc etc etc etc.).

I have to admit, I share the curmudgeonly reporter outrage, though mine is a bit more muted (in-rage?), at the symbolic bending the public over and getting away with it. George Vecsey, who really really likes not-ex Met Jackie Robinson, is right to bust a nut over this, quoting Oddo who may be a Republican but gets points for cheekyness:

“A cheeky way to make a point,” said Oddo, who noted that his colleague, Ignizio, had the idea first. “These are complex issues,” Oddo added. “They go over my head, but this was a way to vent my frustration.”

Oddo was referring to the worldwide economic crisis brought about, in large part, by American buccaneer capitalists we seem to admire so much, unregulated by government. In terms of lives being affected, it’s hardly funny, except for the antic chutzpah of a failing corporation putting its name up in lights, with somebody else’s money — yours and mine.

“This is more of a case of using the office as a bully pulpit,” said Oddo, who does not claim the City Council has any legal power to take down the annoying name. The response on the Internet has made Oddo appreciate “the beauty of a snarky comment.” Previously known for his campaign to ban metal bats, claiming they are dangerous to young players, Oddo does not apologize for his varied interests.

“I can fill a pothole at the same time I spark a debate,” he said.

The Wilpon's couldn't say no to the cash, and now they got what's coming to them for not being more classy. Since it apparently already resembles Citizen's Bank park, why not name it Citizen's Tax Field at Flushing (Money) Park? They could do worse. One wonders if the Wilpons will run the promotion, seen in other venues, of having free tax preparation consultations one weekend game in April.


After a tour of Citifield, Matt Cerrone let this interesting tidbit out the other day:

The short porch in right field is intriguing. I do not envy the right fielder – Ryan Church, good luck with that. The view from these seats are pretty cool, actually, so much so that Jeff Wilpon told reporters he purchased season tickets for this section. I don’t blame him. I guarantee it will be a fun time up there.

Jeff Wilpon likes the outfield seats at the new park so much he purchased some? Making them even scarcer for fans? Fuck you very much, Jeff.

Lowe has some big balls.

Sometimes a statistical perspective is really really needed. The KRod hunt is one of those times. To drive the point home, a read-worthy column in today's NY Times deploys Win Probability Added (WPA) to remind me of why KRod scares the living bejesus out of me. In terms of his ability to affect his team’s chances of winning a game, KRod was only the 4th best reliever in the AL last year. But the real terror is his declining velocity at age 26. Remember when Billy Goat started throwing slider after slider and then started tinkering with his arsenal a few months into his stay in Flushing? Here we go again.

He's baaaack!!

Now Lowe is a different story. $18 million a season???? Competition with big market clubs like the Sawx and Spankers?? Oh this has not gone well. I think the Mets could get Rob Lowe at a more reasonable price. All I can say is that I hope Derek is filming this, cause once the bidding war is over, it will assuredly be all down hill. Get it? Because the baseball Lowe is trying to do for pitcher salaries what the actor Lowe did for sextape industry!


Time to hang up the Thing suit, but with the winter meetings just around the corner, I'm sure to have more blunders to cry about soon!

*from his famous 24-Characters: keep cool-headed to observe, be composed to make reactions, stand firmly, hide our capabilities and bide our time, never try to take the lead, and be able to accomplish something. As worded, can either reassure, or scare the shit out of US strategic planners.

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  • At 1:38 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    And when the government bailed out CitiBank, did they instruct them to forgive and forget all the loan Contracts that were in arrears? Why shouold the Mets let them off the hook for making a perfectly legit deal? And the stupid. wilpons can name their field any name they want. This is America.

    Now on to more serious matters: I sincerely believe that Omar is a very stupid person. Therefore, doing nothing might be construed as non-stupid. Once he does something he will reveal his stupidity. And by all means, bring Raul here if he is as nice as you say. Regis Philbin seems like a nice guy. Can he play left field?

  • At 2:17 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    well your comments certainly act as a fine counterweight to my post. I suppose I will wait for the coming blogger bailout.

    They are also theoretically hefty.
    If Omar is stupid, then we do want him to do nothing, yes. Your theory is straight Abe Lincoln; better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a dope than open it and prove everyone right. But if we define stupid as doing stupid things then if Omar does nothing, than that will turn out to be stupid. Which gets us nowhere since we don't want him to do stupid things.

    I don't want a nice guy in left field. I want Kevin McRenoylds. Was he a righty bat?

  • At 2:34 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Chew on this enigma: everything I say is a lie.

  • At 2:38 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Or: all generaliztions are false.

    You see how tormented my brain can be.

  • At 2:54 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    What a day--First I am out-mind blowed on my own blog--now i find myself in near total agreement with the Sherminator:

    Other than they need more than least 3 "Studs", 4 if they get Wood (haha) which I would be fine with. Signing Wood (no picks given up)trading for Street (ridding us of two bullpen shits),and another muthafunking fireballer would be a place to start. I'd be ok with that. As a start.

    We have known all this since Heilman gave up the bomb to the Cards and I am fucking sick of waiting for Omar to fix it.

  • At 6:06 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    jdon, it's no longer Citigroup who will be paying the 200 million for the naming rights; now it's you and me. And if I am going to pay for it, I want the name to be MOOKIE WILSON FIELD. I totally object to naming the beautiful park after a bunch of greedy criminals. Pressure must be put on the Wilpons and Citigroup to break that deal. Obama, DO SOMETHING!

    I also vote for spending all of the remaining money on relievers - but definitely not Valverde - that guy is a head case!

    We should stumble through with the starting pitchers we have: Santana, Pelfrey, Maine (will he be ready?), Neise and Figueroa(except configure the rotation so he never has to pitch against the Nats). I'll actually be relieved not to have to suffer through another Oliver Perez meltdown ever again.

  • At 6:25 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Katherine, you had me at "Mookie Wilson Field" (it'll do, though its not as sonorous as "Gary Carter Gardens" and they may already be planning such a field in $!%#@ St. Louis [it was the Cards, remember that Mookster threw in with last we saw him, much like Mex--can we trust these 86ers for all the love we give them?])...but you LOST me when you got Figgy with it!! We can NOT go into a season in a full Nelson--a championship team can not PLAN on carrying Figgy as a 5th starter, in fact he wouldn't be on such a team unless he is carrying their championship water bucket and providing fresh, championship towels.

    Is Valverde the Astros' Armando? I went to those games in Houston and when I lost hope of the mets winning one, I was then dying to see that macho fist pumping nut job blow a lead just one lousy time. Of course we know how that turned out.

    Oh well, maybe a crappy offseason will dim our expectations. Last couple of year we went to what we thought would be a Beatles concert only to find Midnight Oil on the stage. This year might be worse...feels kind of like its gonna be paying for Hanna Montana with a Gallagher surprise!
    Wear your raincoats!

  • At 11:31 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Oh katherine, so now the President can nullify the sanctity of a contract. Who is he? Saddam Hussein Obama or Barack Hussein Obama? That contract can only be nullified if bankruptcy is declared, bankruptcy being another of those worrisome legalities.You cannot just cancel a contract, even if you are a two bit congressman from staten island. my position is, private property and contracts are sacred. And Omar is an idiot. Oh, and I too hate Valverde. What a waistline he has. And he is the slowest walker I have ever seen.

  • At 7:11 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Oh guys, guys!!!!

    WE GOT HIM!!!!! KROD!!!!

    I was revelling in the NYTimes coverage of the Blagojevich scandal (thinking how much Blago looks like Moe of the Three Stooges and his wife like Debbie Clemens) when my eye caught the AP headline, "Mets reach deal with Rodriguez".



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