It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Show Must Go...on

Beautiful. I've spelled Showenshitbag for the last time. Scott Schoeneweis flat out sucked, and he sucked in such a way that if not for Aaron Heilman, the torched up mob would be chasing his ass into a castle. Not that he wasn't a nice guy and I didn't feel for him occasionally, particularly when he handled lefties, but he sucked in a way that would inspire poets. History will remember Scott Schoeneweis for sucking.

It certainly inspired me to dream a little dream. In fact, I once commented:
It's all i can do not to dream of the day we're free of Errant, Pedreadful, and Shownblow. We have the science. We know they can't get the job done.

Show sucked on a plane, he sucked on a train, he sucked in the rain, he sucked in pain, he sucked with one ball, he sucked at baseball, he sucked in a riot, he sucked on a diet, he sucked and got booed, he sucked through and through.

So I'm willing to risk my hard-won reputation for editorial balance, just one post after ripping Omar a new turkey hole,to turn around and applaud the little bastard for giving his pen an enema. In case you were wondering how magnanimous it can get around here. So rarely do I get exactly what I want with this team (i.e. competent forward looking management) I don't know how to react to Omar's house cleaning. There is one thing yet undone.
Pedro please make this easy on yourself and turn yourself in!

It would be nice if he just left under his own power, but the barn brooming isn't done as long as Pedreadful Felice-Navidad-For-Opposing-Hitters ever dons the Orange and Blue again. He. Has. Got. To. Go. As Morris Day would say, "U aint gotta go home, but u gotta get the helloutofhere..."

Actually, I think Morrissey captures the moment well.

Good times for a change
See the luck I've had
Could make a good man turn bad

So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See the life I've had
Could make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows it would be the first time
Lord knows it would be the first time

This video could be seen as a tribute to those who suffered Mets past two seasons; it certainly makes me feel similarly. How many times have we Met fans been the guy still in the elevator at the end?



  • At 9:43 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Looks like the pHils have done us a favor and landed Ibenhad.
    As for covering all that territory in the outfield, the flyin' hawaian will be dyin' tryin'.
    As my mean gym teacher used to say, "hit it to left!"

  • At 5:59 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    yes but they have upgraded their lineup. He makes less outs than Burro, strikes out less than Burro, and is just as awful in left. they have their lights out closer, and a world series ring to wave under our punk noses. be happy if you wish.. I think they are better than they were. Plus a20 homer guy becomes a 30 homer guy when he goes to philly

  • At 9:58 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    That's a weird video - is it from Borat? On a lighter note, supposedly we are now the frontrunners to get Lowe. Maybe we will get what we want - just to get our dreams crushed again, of course.

  • At 12:51 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Cver--on a lighter note? Can the notes get any lighter than that classic from Borat?

    A couple of pithy items from the comments section of an otherwise stupid argument that the mets have to resign Dopie Opie because the Philmes just signed Ibenhad.

    First someone named Larry Eisenberg has laid this couplet down:

    "I agree Perez should be resigned,
    Although I have often maligned
    Him, for mentally straying,
    And any-which-waying,
    But to his virtues I’m not blind."

    I don't agree, Larry, but nice work. Second, another commentator said something I just said better than I said it, regarding the Mets strategy vs the division favorites next year--routine fly balls!:

    "If the Mets really want to get an advantage against a team with Ibanez, get some right-handed pull hitters to hit routine fly balls his way. Doubles galore. I still can’t believe an NL team signed him."
    — Chris

    I really don't care if they sign Ollie, as long as they sign Lowe first and Ollie is the 5th starter!! Which as Cver and Metsblarg are reporting, seems to be more likely than it was yesterday suddenly.

    For the complete silly argument about Boras' Goofy Lefty, go to

  • At 7:23 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    rthen had him straightened out. He pitched great for about 10 straight starts, and then started with the hesitation leg kick and the head swiveling all over the place. This guy is not worthy of coaching. I agree about Loww. Especially since the Phils or the Yanks might get him if we don't. Come on Checbook G.M. Man, get it done. Stop all this shit about keeping the p[ayroll the same. The Yankees have set a new standard for increases

  • At 11:12 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    by the way, that Borat video is hysterically disgusting, and more than tangentially irrelevant. kudos.

  • At 11:45 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    The fishwrap set is starting to run with the poor Wilpon lost money and it might affect the Mets story. My answer for him is sell Miller Lights for $255 at the New CitiPark--a tax on the tasteless. If he can't cut it, sell the team back to Nelson Doubleday (i think they bought it in 86 for $80 mil)! I think I always like him better anyhow.

    The Borat video delivered the same painful allure in two minutes as the MEts 2007 season. Only the really bad parts were blacked out and pixelated.

  • At 2:17 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I liked him too. He was drunk a lot.

  • At 9:22 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    For all of you conspiracy theorists out there, what about this: The Wilpons are just pretending that they got fleeced out of 300 million as a negotiating tactic to drive down the prices of potential new players like Lowe. Instead of just throwing an extra 20 mil at CC like the Steinbrenners did, little Jeffy just shrugs his shoulders at Lowe and pulls out his empty pockets, exposing only his cotton balls.

  • At 7:50 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    i really hope they have to sell. i do not care who they sell to. i am tired of hearing about keeping the budget where it is while the yankees are sitting on a uranium mine in their new park. the wilpons stink. they were stupid to get into a deal with this guy. i heard ric edelman on the radio saying these people were swriting checks to madoff and you never write checks to the person. any idiot knows that. they were also getting statements from him, when they should have been getting them from investment companies. this guy broke every rule in the book and no one called him on it. they must have thought it was some kind of secret (shady) deal but this guy was well respected, he was an old pal in mortgage brokering circles, so why check into it? Kind of like signing Mo Vaughn after he hits in an indoor batting cage wearing a jogging suit that would have slid comfortably onto a small hippo. Good for them. Now sell the team to a big timer who deserves to run it.


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