It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, October 17, 2011

A Mets Fan's Humble Contribution: Revenue Raising Ideas

Now that the hated Cardinals and their disgusting Molinas are back in the World Series and we know they will somehow win because that's the way it goes for Mets fans, it is time to give up on baseball for the year. After another triumphant year in the history books for the Mets franchise, I vote we turn the page and re-focus our energies on the "next year" we are always waiting for. The Wilpon/Saul team seems likely to retain ownership, so my dream of a fresh new start is forestalled. I now realize that class warfare isn't right, and we all need to pitch in to help these millionaires get things done. So instead of the usual unhelpful complaining that has dominated this space in years past, I decided to come up with a four point plan, one that I like, to add to the budget and perhaps even fatten the Wilpon wallets in time for the winter hot stove. First thing's first: the Mets need some bankroll. Here are my suggestions:

1. Advertisements on the empty seats: Much has been made of how the Mets lucrative advertising partnerships, for instance with "Send in the Clowns" party rentals, reflect a certain business savvy you just don't see every day. It's time to take the next logical step. Start with the Mets main asset: Thousands of attractive, empty seats. In any given inning, most fans at Citi are waiting in the Shake Shack line and the rest are watching football in the Caesars Club. Moreover, by the end of the next season, the Mets may be able to make more on seat advertising then they can make actually having a person occupy the seat. The Mets control the TV cameras, and SNY viewers are already used to lengthy broadcast interludes where they do not see any action on the baseball diamond. So the seats can be rigged with mini billboards promoting baseball relevant brands, or perhaps dynamic flashing light patterns that sell car insurance. And in the off chance some fan should show up to sit for some reason, don't panic! There is the easy workaround of throwing an advertisement tshirt on them while the camera rolls. All this adds up to sure-fire revenue.

2. Sell part of the team to a local celebrity: This should be obvious. With New York City's star power, I'm sure Saul and the boys can find a celebrity willing to invest for the opportunity to get sweet tickets to see the Yankees play in the Subway Series? If they hit up Jay Z first, and work their way down to Beyonce, the ownership is sure to find someone willing to guarantee seats to see the Yankees when they come to Citi.

3. Date Mr. Met mascot outreach program: There are a lot of lonely single New Yorkers. And there really is only one element of the Mets product that remains popular with the fans. The Wilpons would be advised to monetize it and sell dates with Mr Met. Fun chants like "Does the carpet match the drapes?" can be directed at Mr Met. A sexy singles night, maybe featuring a wet t-shirt cannon, could heighten the fan experience as well. And Mr Met is already aroused. I think I've said enough.

4. Downgrade mascot: However, if #3 doesn't pan out (or if it works too well), the Wilpons are going to need to go a different direction. Mr Met costs something like $35,000 a season in upkeep, and frankly, this money could be going into player salaries for the kind of players Anderson is looking at. Or at least some risky financial scheme. After cutting ties with Mr Met, the Mets can either promote from the minors, or have Kevin Burkhardt deliver his incisive comments in the bottom half of a chicken suit while spending the innings entertaining fans.


This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.