It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, October 29, 2010

Opinion: Alderson Needs to Apologize for Letting Ladies in the Dugout
 Sandy Alderson, Mets GM, ducks another tough question.

Only a day in to his new job, and new Met GM Sandy Alderson is already knee deep in controversy.
Sure, Alderson may have risked his life for his country, made himself a wildly successful major league executive, and been a founding father of the sabermetric set that revolutionized baseball. But already there is another Bernie Madoff-size hole the size of in Alderson's creditability.  After refusing to apologize for the steroid era, Alderson would seem to be on thin ice already as he faces the second stunning controversy of his brief tenure. This time the scandal takes the form of a clash with Met culture itself; specifically, a growing disagreement with one of the greatest living Mets, SNY broadcaster Keith Hernandez.
Keith Hernandez, shown reacting to announcement of new Met GM.

The controversy started in 2006 when Hernandez noted the presence of a female trainer, Kelly Calabrese, in the dugout of Alderson-controlled San Diego Padres.  "Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair?" Hernandez said. "What's going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout."

Hernandez later tried to back step and defuse the controversy, saying "You know I am only teasing. I love you gals out there -- always have." No doubt this was done in order to spare the San Diego organization the loss of face that comes with such a transgression of America's past time.

But as Hernandez knows, the damage was done. Gals were hanging off of the top step railing.  Chicks were getting players ready to play ballgames.  All of this slowly destroying the game that, along with Jazz, country music, and nuclear weapons, stands among America's greatest contributions to world civilization.  And this destruction was done on Sandy Alderson's watch.

In this space, I can only modestly (pre-) echo the (no doubt forthcoming) demands of noble scribes and keepers of the baseball flame like Ian O'Connor, who work for great defenders of the integrity of the game of baseball like the website and 24 hour news channel ESPN, and make the following demand: Alderson must say he's sorry for being an enabler at a time when baseball desperately needed a whistle-blower and a leader on the issue of ladies in the dugout.
If Sandy Alderson gets his way, horrifying scenes like this will be an everyday occurrence. What's next, equal pay for equal work?

Alderson no doubt disappointed millions when he stepped to the microphone on Friday to take questions, yet refused to address the issue of babes on the bench. But the Mets organization as a whole needs to take a stronger stand.  Where is team president and architect of the entire past four years of unmitigated failure, Saul Katz on this issue? Since we now know that Katz makes most of the decisions in this organization, Katz needs to address the media and set the record straight immediately, if the Alderson rebuilding project is to have any hope of succeeding. I demand an apology from Saul Katz as well.

If Alderson and Katz are going to preach accountability with the sad sack Mets, that's fine. But they would make that pitch credible if they started with themselves, and took a few minutes to apologize for an opportunity lost, an opportunity to keep the fair sex out of our fair game.

Labels: , ,

Thursday, October 28, 2010

After Years Adrift at Sea, Have Mets Reached the Sandy Shore?
 "Why are you bothering me during the unlimited pasta and bread sticks early bird special?"

Every media outlet, fanboy blog, and a few farmers' almanacs are reporting that the Mets have selected Mr. Sandy Alderson to be their next GM.  Any reservations the meek souls or full-on party poopers among us might raise ("he is 300 years old,""but he invented Questek!""Jeff Wilpon") are being drowned out by an aggressively optimistic exuberant mob bent on seeing a savior.  This atmosphere is similar to what I saw around the Mets-blarg-o-sphere when one Mr. Omar Minaya was hired, back when he was still the guy that didn't trade K*zmir and had not yet become the guy who squandered the primes of David Wright and Jose Reyes in a storm of befuddling incompetence and mediocrity (are they still selling "In Omar We Trust" t-shirts?).  I suppose this is understandable since we are "fanatics" and watch mostly to get excited and hopeful about things. And the respect, the competence and credibility that a week or two ago seemed like pipe dreams now seem within reach.  But the wild mood swing the fan base is experiencing, from despair and hangman humor to triumphalism and wild hope, is too much for this humble blogger to take. I will sit this party out for now.
Ah yes, you're still here.

While the Yankmes and Philmes' demises made for one of the more pleasurable playoffs in recent memory, I can not bring myself to buy into another Wilpon-related front organizational scheme at the moment. As long as the pin heads are ultimately in charge (of course by this I mean team president Saul Katz, recently revealed to be the mastermind of this whole mess), I retain the right to skepticism, moodiness, and being not fun at dinner parties.  And I will wait to see what innovative "clear direction" Mr. Alderson chooses for this team (pitchers with laser beams in their eyes? Jesus Christ playing second? a home run apple that works/is needed?) and how he plans to maneuver around large albatrossy contracts, key and maybe devastating injuries, a culture of losing loserness, and Wilpon meddling. I will not let the Wilpons play me like a fiddle, and manipulate my apathy levels simply by admitting what we all have known--they don't know what they're doing--and taking an action that was needed two years ago.  I have earned that much.

Labels: ,

Saturday, October 23, 2010

The Advent of Dummyball? From Beane to Sabean... Do the Mets Have What it Takes in the New Era?
Razor sharp minds don't grow on trees.

 Finally, we are hearing that the market for lame veterans is undervalued.  If you want to understand the latest trend, check out Tim Marchman's tribute to Giant's GM Brian Sabean's anti-sabermetric, or at least anti-"moneyball" strategy of continuing to stock up on overpriced veterans in the face of common sense and defensible strategy.

Oh great, now that veteran presence is cool again, the Mets have relieved Omar Minaya, their expert in mediocre talent, their master of spending big on rapidly depreciating assets, their Baryshnikov of blundering contracts for creaky mediocrities, of his duties.  With our luck, the Mets will hire some savvy new operator who won't touch the likes of Pat Burrell, Freddy Sanchez, Mark DeRosa, or Edgar Renteria, not to mention Alex Cora or Julio Franco, and we'll be left with a lean, mean product stuffed with talented, reasonably priced youth, who, beardless and without creased faces, won't be able to compete in these new conditions.

You don't need a big head to lead a team to the world series.

Congratulations, Texas Rangers. Touch em' all, you deserve it.

Labels: ,

Monday, October 04, 2010

Fred to Media: "We're Not Capable of Picking Baseball Players"

Wilpon Management Interview Script

Here we go. Today's the most momentous occasion in recent memory. It's Met management firing day. Or so we've been promised. We don't want to let the excitement get out of hand, but we've been waiting a long time for this.
Every October, the Mets and their friends gather to participate in the ritual burial of their team's season

I got my hands on the actual crib-sheet that Jeffy and Fred will take into the room once they get around to hiring a new management team for the franchise they have run into the ground.  I feel this gives us some insight into the process.

PART ONE (oral Interview):

has skill set YES NO
has plan YES NO
likes his plan YES NO
can keep it in pants YES NO
has figured out we're broke YES NO
likes the Dodgers' chances in 2011 YES NO
knows anything about how to treat concussions YES NO

can light up room YES NO
works cheap YES NO
ex-Yankee with rings YES NO
will say what we tell him to YES NO
doesn't mind if we lie occasionally YES NO
double check: is room really lit up? YES NO

PART TWO (written test for all candidates):

Please comment on the management strategy implied by the following pictures:

Labels: , ,

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Thank You New York Mets, For All You've Done.

Stay tuned as I will be back with a vengeance this off season.

Labels: ,

This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.