HOT STOVE: 2nd annual Br*ves caption contest

"Daddy, what's an ingrate?"


Post your caption in the comments section and Win (a warm fuzzy feeling of accomplishment)!

HOT STOVE Shoobie Doobie! (TM) "Jump back, Kiss Myself!"

Happy Thanksgiving!!

“Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he's got it all.”

What am I thankful for? Well, idiotic columnists for one thing. Where would the blogs of this generation be without lazy, poorly informed reporters, or inane broadcasters? We fans couldn't laugh our asses off nearly as much if sites like Fire Joe Morgan didn't have a constant source of material.

In his "Sports of the Times column," "Those Who Deserve an Extra Helping of Pie" in today's New York Times, Dave Anderson raves about Carlos Delgado, who he calls "by far the best free agent signing in the history of the franchise." Now I know its hard for a guy to tell the difference between the Mets two older marquee players. They're both named Carlos, and neither one of them wanted to play for the Mets originally. But here's a hint: the guy who the Mets signed has a gigantic mole on his head! No pie for you, Dave!

Who are we all thankful for? Wallace Matthews. Wallace's anti-Met pessimism and vitriol are out of step with the times but he gives Mets fans with widely disparate views a rallying point: "Matthews is a real Dickhead!" In his latest, holiday-themed column, "Mets Making Turkeys of their Fans", Matthews spreads the cheer, taking the brass to task for their "sweetheart stadium deal" and their recent signings of the aged and infirm. Hey Wallace, the Grinch only steals Christmas, so get your hands off Thanksgiving!




*http://www.james-brown.net/JBrown.gif

HOT STOVE, Shoobie Doobie (TM)

*
HOTSTOVE, MAKE YOU DANCE!
Welcome to this year's first installment of HOT STOVE, Shoobie Doobie! This is the time of the year where the Mets' fanbase works themselves into a silly lather playing Junior GM, spreading ridiculous rumors, wacky predictions, posting useless imaginary lineups, inventing trades, and generally proposing things that would in reality run the team into the ground! And you know what? I want in!! I plan to match them, baseless accusation for groundless rumor! It was fun last off-season, when all our dreams came true AND the team didn't play half bad after all the HOTSTOVE cookin.' What does this winter have in store?

Like James used to say..."The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing. "

Pitching Philosophy
SI's John Donovan in his article "The Edge of Reason," argues what we should all already know.
There is discussion over at Metsblog too. The spirit of Donovan's analysis is a reasonable basis for going forward. Moving rapidly into the post-Pedro, Omar should consider moving away from the old Met model--securing marquee free agent starters for dubious long term contracts--and to a new Met model of developing our own, be they from the farm or from the scrap heap. The Mets already have what many smart teams want--young promising starting pitching under contract, reasonably priced. Why ruin that by over-doing it in the old "established" pitching market? So, using a new "young" pitching model, I dont think there is a need to concede to Glavine's demands either. You really think John Maine isn't as good a bet as Toothless Tom to put up similar numbers at a fraction of the price? Zito is debatable at this point, as he is young and has had some sucess--price and contract length will probably work against him becoming a Met. Dice-K? Well...

Matsu-stupid
wow--its the begining of the end for the Sox. This is a dumb deal. It will be, however, a boon for the newspaper industry--the first time he goes on the DL with an elbow strain will be a massive media frenzy the likes of Beantown has never seen!

I love fans on the internet saying how the bids--in this case, $51 million--doesn't come out of the payroll numbers... No but guess who's pocket this comes out of?

I'll give you a hint-- in 2010, when you are sitting in beautiful CityPark, thinking about how great the $20mil/ year corporate payout is providing the salary of that $20 million corner outfielder you always dreamed of... you'll turn to your wife and kids to share this bit of wisdom, but they won't be there to hear your knowing aside...you're there all alone because you could only afford to buy one $80 ticket in the nosebleeds and it was either little Johnny or the $75 parking fee.

There is a relationship between "Fred's Money" and fans, you knuckleheads...it's a nice example of what Marx (Karl not Groucho) called false consciousness.

Me I'm gonna try to have a son--a left handed pitching son that is.

Old Duque

what's that you say, sonny? I'm resigned? oh happy days, now i can afford prescription drugs again!

Speaking of dumb, the Sox are not alone this off season. That’s right, sitting in the dunce chair right next to the young pup GM is our own Omar. Throwing 6 mil for 2 (two) years at a mysterious, and apparently easily injured 56 year old is lunacy. Sorry, there's no way around it. This stings especially because it was originally reported that it was 2 at 6 mil, a more reasonable proposition. THis is ill-Duque.

And spare me the “he’s a bargain in this market” stuff. Just because something is a relative bargain, that doesn't make buying it a smart move in every context. if so, go ahead and take that great deal on a mercedes so you can go to work at Walmart in style.

And even worse...
what was the number one lesson of this postseason as far as pitching goes? (no, not "never give steve tr**hell a start"). You guessed it, you can not count on old and fragile starting pitching, especially if it makes up 3/5's of your rotation. Sooner AND later, you will get burned. Guess Omar is still digesting that lesson 'cause he's throwing mad cash at geezers so far this season.

So please could we have a moratorium on all these "El Duque's great in the playoffs" comments until the time when he doesn't disappear from our playoff dreams by hurting himself badly jogging sprints before a game? He might be great in the playoffs but I'd like to see it here first.

This off season is not off to an auscpicious start, unless you're a lobbyist for the AARP.

******************
IMFM Exclusive!


caption: "Bite me Girardelli, next season you can watch on tv while i manage my boys to the World Series, chump!"


I have obtained a FULL transcript of Willie's comments on the occasion of Joe Giradi's beating him out for Manager of the Year. It turns out there is a little more to the story than the press reported.

Here are some of the missing snippets of his statement:

"Congratulations to Joe. I couldn't be prouder of what we've accomplished in my two years with the Mets [especially seeing as though I did what I did in the toughest city in the league with all the worlds' attention on my every move while you did it somewhere in Florida in front of millions of empty seats for a team no one cares about that is always 5 minutes away from a fire sale and a move to Mormon country]. We went from 71 wins to 83 wins to 97 victories, and a Division title and the best record in the National League this year. [Meanwhile you and your sorry ass team couldn't even muster 80 wins and you lost your damn job cause of your big mouth--Willie might be sound asleep on the bench, but he knows when to keep his mouth shut!]

We achieved a lot in 2006, but [in stunning contrast to you and your forthplace finishing mutherf*ing Fish pansies], we won't be completely satisfied until we reach our ultimate goal which is a World Series title [and unlike you, i took my team to the only place where a team actually has a chance at the World Series and no, that isn't one step from the National League East basement, if you're wondering it's the P to the L-a offs bitch!]."
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This just in!
He used to Swallow, but now he just Sucks!

The Tampa Bay D-Rays have just won the right to negotiate with Japanese Yakult Swallows' 3rd baseman Akinori Iwamura. Rumor is their bid of $14.59 and three unscratched lottery tickets beat out other bidders such as the AA Tangipahoa Baccalaureates and that guy Trash-Can Sam from down at the track! When reached for a comment, Iwamura expressed his joy at being able to come and play for a team so closely affiliated with the NY Yankees, but seemed a little confused as to the precise nature of the Ray's role as record-padder and AL East whipping boy. Reports that Baltimore's Jim Duquette called Tampa's front office offering them Scott Kazmir for Iwamura's rights are as of yet unsubstantiated.

*image stolen from http://www.james-brown.net/JBrown.gif

Bora$: Financial Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious National Past-time

Jagshemash! Here in U.S. and A, I'm make lotsa money, and evertime I screw another
team over and further degrade their national pasttime I make add a baseball to my collection.



You make click to see my list of clients yes? includes many Flushing favorites such as scott from Kashmir and a nice old man names Bernie Williams like that funny movie about weekends.
So far, this season I'm make J.D. Drew do suicide for his career. And soon I will be bending over one selected team General for contract make Matsuzaka pitch in the states, like we do with goats in my country. Maybe your team, yes? You like?

Many people, they dont like Bora$, because they say i use freedom of agency to ruin sports in US and A. But I innocent of these accusings!

Furthermores, accusings are part of campaign against me by evil nitwits Uzbekistan who do not love capitalisings democracy and do not love US and A.


I must now return to japanese Embassy where my client need me. Thank you. I like sex. Bye.

HOT STOVE Shoobie Doobie! (TM) What's it gonna be?

Ahh. Tom Glavine.

Ahh. Tom Glavine. What do I have nice to say about you? Hmmm. Nothing at all.







are you sharking us, tommy, or yourself?

Tom Glavine is currently waiting for his "family" to decide whether he should return to the team that for some reason actually wants him, or the team he won 200+ games for back when he was good. This is starting to annoy me. Not so much the waiting, which is normal, but more the idea that Omar would pony up anymore than $7 million for this soft-tossin has been. Based on what, Omar? I used to indulge in all manner of Glavine bashing, calling him "Agent Tomahawk," to reflect the fact that he was clearly sent to the Mets as a double agent by the devious Br*ve GM. But Glavine's fall was so precipitous after he signed with NY that his recent mediocrity has been mistaken for sucess by some metsfans. But even so, I started the HOT STOVE generally thinking he could be plugged in at #3 in the Mets rotation, seeing as he OWES us some decent starts, especially with the proven starting pitching shortage. Ya know what Tommy baby, this little should i stay or should i go doesn't exactly make up for your lack of loyalty and mediocre performance over the last 4 years of money stealin'. And now you want more of Fred's cash, some say as high as $12 mil per year. I think you're being a little greedy, when a humble, even apologetic attitude is in order. Even though members of the NY media refuse to point it out, I don't think the Br*ves are dumb enough or nostalgic enough to want you, although they are a bunch of hicks so you never know. For what it's worth, I can't seem to find a single article out of Atlanta that mentions Shuerholtz is at all interested. What I have found ain't that optimistic. So now I'm kinda hoping that Tom has dragged his heels and Omar realises the money is better spent somewhere else. So go back, Tom, we really don't need you on the payroll. Really. Buhbye!


Hmm, where's my screwdriver, its time to negotiate with the Mets!

without further ado...
To the tune of the 1988 classic,
What's it gonna be?
by Ratt as sung by itsmetsforme, dedicated to that faithful Br*ve, Tom Glavine.
(turn it up Loud baby!)







Oh yeah!
My, my, my
Your numbed out fingers
The sensation lingers
You roll your eyes better than you make up your mind
The noise your makin'
No hearts are breakin'
The promises were empty and your blood runs cold

So tell me ...

What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy
Does it really matter where you pitch BP?
What's it gonna be Chris, Amber and Jonathan,
Should you be waiting for the Bruins to call?



I can feel the danger (Danger)
We're living like strangers
It's two different worlds
And maybe you can live in both
Are you sin or sinner (Sin or sinner)
Who'll keep me warm this winter?
I can tell something's wrong
You've fallen for another fan

Is that true?

What's it gonna be sweet Tom-a-hawk Tommy?
Just give it to me straight, is it him or me?
What's it gonna be Chris, Amber and Jonathan
You gonna stay in N.Y. or head back and put on the sheets?

What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy?
No matter what you say, you're gonna end up a Br*ve
What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy
Burnin' all your bridges, Omar will put out the fire
...


C'mon Tom, Chris is too cute to live in Georgia! Hey wait she looks like one of those sister celebrities from the south.

This post may look a lot like a hate-filled, desparate cry for help, but I figure many Metsfans are from Jersey so are most likely Ratt fans...what the hell.

------------------------------------------
Just as we all always knew, Bobby Cox loves animals.

Important update

Satan is back for Jeff Suppan's soul, and fuck you Tony LaRusa. We don't want your charity.








"Bitch, please!" Omar listening to La Russa blow smoke up his ass.

--------------------------------

SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT, as sung by itsmetsforme, and dedicated to Tony LaRussa
apologies to Corey Hart


I wear my sunglasses in the dugout
So I can so I can
Watch fans heave when Joe Buck breathes his story lines
And I wear my sunglasses in the clubhhouse
So I can so I can
Keep oblivious of my first baseman's steroid use

While he's deceiving me
It cuts my security has
with Yadier in front of me
I turn to her and say

Don't switch the blade on Scott Spezio oh no

Don't masquerade with the guy in shades oh no
'Cause I'm a "genius"!
Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
Steal this game and pray for rain and
And I wear my sunglasses at night
So I can so I can
See the light that's right before my eyes

While Mac used androstenedione
at least he didn't fall under a tarp machine
The lucky bastard catcher teabags me
I turn to her and say
Don't switch the blade on Scott Spiezio oh no
Yadi Give me a break you hit .216 oh no
I can't believe it!
'Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
'Cus you got it made with the guy in shades oh no
Oh I say I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I say it to you now

[Mark McGuire guest rap:
"I'm not going to go into the past or talk about my past. I'm here to make a positive influence on this."
end guest rap]

I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
I cry to you
I wear my sunglasses at night
I wear my sunglasses at night
FADE

M-E-T-R-O-P-O-L-I-T-A-N

Not much going on today. Well not during hot stove at 2am before I go to sleep.
But there are a few notes of interest...
On Thursday, Inmate No. T47272 will be set free again. I remember when i first realized that the story of Doc and Straw was one of the great tragedies of sports. What are some others? Len Bias? Reggie Lewis? If a convicted criminal like Steinbrenner can consider hiring him again, why not the family friendly Mets (Ramon Castro, Mike DeFelice etc.)?
Good Luck, Doc. I'd stay away from Tampa if I were you.

And it looks like Carlos Delgado, who once spurned the Mets quite brutally, is going to be a good guy and stay. Geez, what if he surprised everyone and filed a trade demand? Ken Davidoff seems to think the Mets had all the leverage and denied him a no-trade. No word on whether Delgado used this leverage at all, but I'm sure he didn't want to leave all that guaranteed money on the table. No the media never reported that he might want to leave or anything, but you never know. That would have knocked the wind out of us, huh? I still say he had an off year so I am expecting an even better one next year once doctors patch him back together. He's a guy I really like, and I fully expect him to lead the Mets to a World Championship. Maybe even go into the hall wearing a Mets cap?

I'm not sure what Glavine is dillying on. I'm not even sure how to spell dillying. Does Atlanta even want him back? They won't pay what the Mets will. Davidoff is now reporting that Glavine and the Mets "should hammer out a one-year deal for about $12 million by Friday, the day that Glavine must act upon a $7.5-million player option (he'll decline it)." Well this sounds a lot better than the preposterous story about a two year deal being sought because Tommy doesn't want ole Maddox stepping on his legend. Is there anyone who thinks two years would be reasonable?

Check out blueseam.com for some interesting ruminations on technology and baseball, and technology and sports in general. For me, it's back to seeing how many words you can make with Metropolitan. Tan, Met, Lite, Pope, Rope, Trope...

The State of It’s Mets for Me: Recovering and Remodeling

We’re number one!

As far as I can tell, the Mets blogger community is the right now at the cutting edge of baseball blogging, for what that’s worth. The Mets are blessed with more passionate fans, more quality blogs, and more sexy mamas*. How do I know? More and more Metsbloggers’ pictures are showing up on the internet, for better and for worse. We’re meeting each other at Shea. And, we’re the number 1 blogged team in the MLB, according to ratings at striketwo.net. (Cubs have more blogs but less posts—nobody gives a shit about the Rangers or Padres).

So there's some good evidence that we are the best, as we always knew! Well I really don’t know how reliable those numbers are, or how to interpret them if they are. But hey, on the 30-day Striketwo.net list, which apparently monitors blogs for “influence,” itsmetsforme was number 65 “most influential” out of 792 baseball blogs, narrowly beating out “The Alex Ochoa Experience, “Handpissing Hitters.net” *and #128, “Help I need a New Name for my Blog.” Plus, I beat many defunct blogs handily.

Now I’m not sure what they’re trying to sell me, but if this blog can be mentioned in the same sentence as the word “influential,” then maybe these are dark days indeed for the blogging community. And since I am influential and powerful, I wanted to mention that I would like an autographed David Wright and Jose Reyes baseball bat, along with the proper brackets for mounting it in my study.

I kid, I kid. This blog has never been about competition or influence, or well, anything...other than loving the Mets and wasting my own and a few readers’ precious time. This isn't my job, i have no book to sell, and don't need the hassle of being anything more than a boutique blog. So I have often resisted advice to make it more reader friendly, until this fateful day.

That is, today I hit the “New Template” button.

"I wonder what it would look like with a lighter background?"
"Hmm, baby blue, oh so nice."
“All customization will be lost...Hmm that’s interesting, I wonder what they mean...I guess there's only one way to find out!"

That’s right, I may be the last person in the world who didn't realize that you need to save all your links, polls, headers footers, and pretty much everything you ever added BEFORE you hit that button.

So, one full waste of a Sunday later, I have redone the site. And I may keep changing things and adding features. But I’d like to know what YOU think of the new layout—is it easier to read this way? Is it more hil-ar-ious? Taking into account this is no professional operation, are there things YOU think I should change? In the past, I have asked for advice from my readers, a notoriously silent bunch, so I won't be surprised if I get nothing. But I am curious.

Andrew, Ms. Benson, Mom, if you’re out there, let me know.


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Don’t it make you mad? Readings from an Unfair World (a new feature)

Steroid monster Albert Pujols has won a Gold Glove.

Jeter has won three in a row.
"The Gold Glove Award means a great deal to me," Jeter said in a statement. "Fielding doesn't get many headlines, but it's a big part of the game of baseball. I take great pride in my defense, and to be recognized with a Gold Glove for three straight seasons is a great honor that I will always cherish."

In the 7th game, Jose Valentin gets hit in the face from a pitched ball that bounces off the ground first, he takes his base, and no one cares.
Well, I care--it's not every day this happens, and I ain't so familiar with this rule, and find it at least worthy of discussion.

A BALL is a pitch which does not enter the strike zone in flight and is not struck at by the batter. Rule 2.00 (Ball) Comment: If the pitch touches the ground and bounces through the strike zone it is a "ball." If such a pitch touches the batter, he shall be awarded first base. If the batter swings at such a pitch after two strikes, the ball cannot be caught, for the purposes of Rule 6.05(c) and 6.09(b). If the batter hits such a pitch, the ensuing action shall be the same as if he hit the ball in flight.

Did Tim McCarver, who loves to innanely explain anything, and little Buckie discuss this interesting little rule book wrinkle, even for a Mid-Western minute? nOoooooooooo!

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The Moose is no longer on the loose?

Peter Abram is reporting that the Yankers have nearly signed Mussina. Well, good, cause I want them to stay just like they are, like they have been for a few years now. Whatever it is, it isn't working, so I say stay the course.
Abrams also has an interesting blog about how the Hot Stove works, from a journalist's perspective. Check it out.
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**Ok I make some of this shit up.

"I'm Keith Hernandez"

Now is as good a time as any to forget what happened in the postseason, and reflect on what, or whom the Mets stole from the Cardinals so many years ago instead. It may be shading into pathetic to remember the mid '80s teams at times of trouble, but cathartic just the same.

Tipped off by a poster over at the Metropolitans, I zipped over to check out Rob Perri's shortfilm "I'm Keith Hernandez". I loved Keith and have always viewed him as baseball's Larry Bird. In fact, as the chairman of 2011 C.O.M.P.U.T.M.E.H.O.F.P.O.B.S.D.G.I *, I have raised some $16.39 to help his cause.

The satirical film traces the rise of Keith from the Eddie Money concert where he first tried cocaine, through the 1982 World Series, through Herzog's thanking Mex for his contributions by sending him to the cellar-dwelling Mets (just think a player being traded for doing drugs!), and heavy-drinker Davey Johnson's embrace. It was entertaining even on a dial-up connection. I have adapted the sage words of Mr. Perri for my new motto (see above).

However, despite the director's respectful intentions and interesting theoretical take, I watched with a certain sadness. Unintentionally exploited by Jose Valentin this year to achieve semi-cult status, the power of mustache machismo, instantly kitchy because of its associations with pornography and American homosexuality, was strong with Keith. And, this season in his dual roles as oft-vacationing color commentator for SNY, and the Sherriff of the "Just for Men" Dugout Police, Mex has cemented the slightly-out-of-step-with-the-times male chauvinist creds** that a cult hero needs. Keith's masterful and often clutch performance as a beloved World Champion '86 Met, his status as the greatest Met first baseman many of us ever saw, and his penchant for saying whatever's on his mind, no matter how ill-conceived, has endeared him to Mets fans. From Curtis Strong to Kelly Calabrese, Keith always keeps it interesting. Now it looks like Keith's self-satirical appearances on Seinfeld, spokesmanship for second-rate hair coloring company, and admitted drug use have apparently allowed him to begin 'cross over' to mainstream cult status.

The question arises, do we really want to share Mex with outsiders in this manner? Cultural icons with this much personality are hard to come by, and since the Mets will never be the Yank-mes or have that kind of easily digested band-wagonable history (are the Yanks not the most "fair weather fan-ed franschise in the MLB?), our "culture" will most likely maintain its relative insularity, allowing fans an intimacy that, say, the Dallas Cowboys or Yankmes fans will never achieve. In other words, no matter how popular it occassionally gets, this team is for committed, not casual fans. This team is ours. So I wonder if we are ready to throw Keith over to Lacanian analysis and worse, the "I'm with Leather"-style ridicule so popular with the Sports Guy, Urban Outfitters crowd?

Well, this is a question that demands some reflection. So for now let me just say, "Nice game, pretty boy!"









*This post brought to you by the C.O.M.P.U.T.M.E.H.O.F.P.O.B.S.D.G.I (Committee to Put Mex in the MLB Hall of Fame Pronto Or Bud Selig's Dog Gets It)

**Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair? What's going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout."' ..."I won't say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don't belong in the dugout"..."You know I am only teasing. I love you gals out there -- always have."

MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm!

Pitching.

Ever since Victor Zambrano scampered off the mound and into a waiting cab, the Mets and their fans have had to deal with a rotation of ?'s.

I started the off-season highly resistent to the notion of throwing big money at NON-DONTRELLE starters. Case#1: Toothless Tom Glavine, who, though he had his moments, should not be allowed to take more Mets $$ as easily (a rumored $25 mil for TWO more years!) as he did the first time. Case#2: Why spend $10-$17 Million on a marque starter when the Mets did pretty well relying on smoke, mirrors, and young trade throw-ins? Isn't there a lesson in there somewhere?

The Mets clearly need a dominant starter or two. But lets face it, they have some really promising young starters, and there are only 5 slots open. As long as I never see Steve Tr*chell in a pin-striped orange and blue trim again, I won't complain too loudly. So, I concluded, the only pitchers worth hamstringing the Mets' finances for would be one's they have little chance of getting. No aging, over-remunerated mediocrity, please.

I've had something of a change of heart. I read an article talking about the changing free agent market and particularly the paucity of pitching, and now I am bullish on the Mets throwing around some $$$ and taking a chance to build a dominant playoff ready rotation, which they really need to take the next step. I like Omar's approach so far, in terms of pouncing on the best-available free-agents, stockpiling numbers, waiting for so-called stud arms to studify (Pelf, Humby, etc.) while taking a flyer on a fun project named Ollie.

But now, according to one way of thinking, revenue-sharing-enabled-semi-parity is allowing teams to lock up the goodies and avoid the free agent thang. As a result, the superstar pitching market may be a little thin for a while. Basically, this dims hopes of the Mets improving their rotation in one move in the near future; what's out there now might be all there is. And that makes me feel desparation again, the key emotion of hotstove season.

The Mets could go the safer route, and sign lefty Barry Zito or righty Jason Schmidt, or both. And I encourage this. They could try to pry D-train away from the Fish, but this possibility is entirely speculative and gives me heartburn. But, hey, it's what I want for Christmas.

Consider, if you will, the letter M and how it has affected the Mets rotational future.

Midgetless Martinez Mulls Met Misery:
What may well be a little aside on Petey's part has made the rounds in the major NY dailies. He is thinking of retiring if God makes it clear he won't be recovering from rotator cuff surgery. Add "Can he recover from rotator cuff surgery?" to the previous question "can he even train to get in shape for a season?" I have often (blasphemy alert) wondered if training/conditioning wasn't Pedro's Achilles' Heel. Toes, shoulders, OK, but how the hell do you have calf injuries to both calves in one season? This doesn't change everything, because we already knew the Mets would only have his services for the second half of the season at best, but it does change somethings. Tom Glavine is not a #1.

Matsuzaka May Mine Mets' Millions?
Daisuke Matsuzaka: 26 yr old Japanese right hander, You-Tube star, Bora$$ client, $20-30 million surcharge on this conversation. Which of these descriptions jumps out at you as a Mets fan? "Japanese," probably. The Mets have had little to no luck with Japanese players. Could this be the guy that makes our Kaz-stained memories go away? Or would this guy melt in the MLB? You just don't know.

I just don't have the guts to make this decision. For some great discussion, check out decidedly PRO-Matsuzaka blog, the Metropolitans.


Mussina Makes Metfans Mist?
Shocking, just shocking. Mike (boring ex-Oriole) Mussina has made it clear that he wouldn't mind if the Mets got into the bidding for his services in the event the Spankees lose interest in him and his $17 mil option (damn modern pitchers really have clubs over a barrel). Moose is a Yankme, and I've never liked or been that impressed with him. But would he solidify the rotation? Yes, he would. And no, I have no idea what Moose has to do with cowboys.


Mulder: Madness or Merit?
Scully! Mulder!
..."the 29-year-old left-hander now has question marks following an injury-plagued season in which he went 6-7 with a 7.14 ERA. Mulder started just 17 games before undergoing season-ending surgery to repair a partially torn rotator cuff. He did not pitch in September or during the postseason. "
A signing like this would be an X-Factor if not an X-File. And Mulder and Pedro could play rotator cuff recovery games together!! There is risk to reuniting this guy with Mullet Man, but incentive laced deals make sense, if the climate in the near future is one of pitching scarcity. Color me intrigued.

The bottom of the rotation should be fine with the youth infusion. Most of the prime pitching prospects have had their obligatory Tommy John surgeries and are on track for the Majors (i kid). If John can become a Maine-stay, the Mets could be looking at a whole lot of M's next year!
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!


(this post brought to you by the letter M)
---------------------------------
PS.
Has anything gone from awesome to suck in less time?
Trying to relive some amazin' defensive plays, but You Tube has replaced all of them with:
"This video has been removed at the request of copyright owner MLB Advanced Mediabecause its content was used without permission"

Hot Stove History: 1999-2000 and 2001-2002

Off-season's haven't always been so successful or lucrative as they have been under the Minaya regime. To gain a little perspective I thought I'd start a series of recaps, as long as my memory holds up. Opening the vaults of pain, I would confront the frantic winter days when hope rested in the hands of a man named Steve Phillips, who assembled video game teams before that was cool. (No, I am not man enough to travel back to the times of the worst team money could buy in the early 90s.) After spending a few hours compiling and weeping and gnashing teeth, I checked around and found an excellent treatment of this very subject from 2005 on Mike's Mets. He does 91-95, 96 through 2000, and 2000- 2005. Go check it out.

Though I'm not sure why you would do this, I also found you can test yourself on the 2004-5 offseason.
Oh well. Here I review two particularly interesting Hot Stoves of the past.


1999-2000:

Transactions Courtesy of Baseball Roster Central, snarky comments courtesy of yours truly:

What we dreamed of:
We wanted to see the Mets build judiciously on one of the most exciting seasons in memory. The Mets 1999 Record: 97-66 was good enough for 2nd Place and the Wildcard. The thrilling postseason was a treat and the likeable team was poised for a deeper run.

What actually happened:
Basically, in Stevie's third full year of GMing, the rottisserie master's wheels had yet to spin off, and the Mets modestly picked up the Zeile-ster and Operation Shutdown himself. And of course, Traitor Mike Hampton, who more sensible people give credit to as a main cog of the Mets' postseason run, but I still loathe him for costing Dotel, and unceremoniously dumping the Mets for the rarified air of Colorado (air that would arguably ruin his career). Of course despite Hampton's struggles, I also cringed when the Rockies paid the Br*ves to take him off their hands. Would this guy ever go away?

The results of this hotstove were bittersweet; perhaps omens of things to come?

Transactions (Offseason [10/4-12/31] 1999):,
October 4:Announced that RHP Josias Manzanillo opted for free agency.
October 5:Announced that C Mandy Romero opted for free agency.
October 11:National League suspends Mets 3B coach Cookie Rojas for five games and fined him $500 for bumping LF umpire Charlie Williams in a game against Arizona on October 9. The Mets then named catching coach Bruce Benedict interim third base coach while Cookie served his suspension--wow offseason interim third base coach, Benedict's stock soaring!
October 16:Outrighted RHP Jeff Tam to AAA-Norfolk, making him a minor-league free agent. Tough loss to swallow.
October 28:Re-signed OF Juan Moreno and RHP Dan Pontes to minor-league contracts.
November 02:Re-assigned hitting coach Mickey Brantley to an undisclosed minor-league position. Activated C Vance Wilson, RHPs Scott McCrary and Paul Wilson, OFs B.J. Huff and Juan LeBron, and 3B Billy Martin from the 60-day DL. Outrighted Huff and McCrary to AA-Binghamton and Martin to A-Capital City. Undisclosed location? Only Vice President Cheney knows!
November 11:Announced that OF Darryl Hamilton filed a trade demand.
November 17:Purchased the contracts of RHP Eric Cammack from AAA-Norfolk and RHP Lesli Brea and OF Alex Escobar from A-St. Lucie. Outrighted 2B Maurice Bruce to AAA-Norfolk.
November 18:Purchased the contract of RHP Dicky Gonzalez from AAA-Norfolk. Re-signed C Todd Pratt to a two-year contract. Signed OF af dolfo and LHP Brian Shouse and re-signed OF Brent Huff to minor-league contracts.
December 2:Signed LHP Jim Baron, SS Orlando Miller, and OF Mike Kelly to minor-league contracts and invited them to spring training. Invited LHP Brian Shouse to spring training.
December 9:Signed OF Todd Dunn to a minor-league contract.
December 11:Signed free agent 1-3B Todd Zeile to a three-year contract. For a Firstbaseman, Todd was a great actor.
December 13:Selected RHP Jim Mann from Toronto in the major-league Rule 5 Draft. Signed 1B Ryan McGuire and re-signed RHP Johann Lopez to minor-league contracts and invited McGuire to spring training. Signed OF Todd Dunn to a minor-league contract. WOO-HOO!
December 17:Designated RHP Billy Taylor for assignment. Added 1B Todd Zeile to the 40-Man Roster.
December 20:Declined to tender a contract to RHP Billy Taylor.
December 23:Acquired LHP Mike Hampton and OF Derek Bell from Houston for RHP Octavio Dotel, OF Roger Cedeno, and minor-league LHP Kyle Kessel.


2001-2002

What we Dreamed of:

The Mother of All Steve Phillips' off-seasons? To remember this is like opening hell's closet door. I need to admit that I was caught up in the fever, especially to land Juan-gone, in ways that I am not proud of now. I wanted Juan under my Xmas tree. Real bad.

I think this shame is part of why many Mets fans loathe Stevie, other than that he is a class A d-bag who won't go away. Anyhow, the Juan Gone saga is often forgotten amidst other happenings, but I remember it being a focal point. Juan played the Mets and Phillips, and Phillips played the Mets fans. It still hurts.

What actually happened:
A cautionary tale.

2B
Roberto Alomar
Indians
Trade

RHP
Pedro Astacio
Astros
Free Agency

OF
Darren Bragg
Signed
Free Agency

OF
Jeromy Burnitz
Brewers
Trade

OF
Roger Cedeno
Tigers
Free Agency

INF
Luis Collier
Brewers
Trade

RHP
Jeff D'Amico
Brewers
Trade

LHP
Shawn Estes
Trade
Giants

RHP
John Frascatore
Blue Jays
Free Agency

LHP
Mark Guthrie
Athletics
Trade

RHP
Satoru Komiyama
Japan
Free Agency

OF
Gary Matthews Jr.
Pirates
Trade

OF
Mark Sweeney
Brewers
Trade

RHP
David Weathers
Cubs
Free Agency

INF
John Valentin
Red Sox
Free Agency

1B
Mo Vaughn
Angels
Trade

Roberto Alomar Jr., Roger Cedeno and Mo Vaughn. Shawn Estes, Pedro Astacio, Gary Matthews Jr., John Valentin, Mark Sweeney, Darren Bragg. Catch your breath.

Mo Vaughn. Sigh. The first time I can remember screaming NOOOO at the internet. The Mets brass signed Moo based on a batting cage session. This was unconsciable, but did raise the question of whether I had a chance as I thrive in the 70-80 mph cage myself, and can bend to touch my toes without outside help. Anyway, unburdened by his disgruntled weighty presence, the Angels, of course, went on to win the 2002 World Championship. Mo has done a lot of nice charity work, especially where strippers are concerned.

Alomar. I realized that, 6 or 7 years later, I am still in disbelief over the extent of Alomar's suckiness. My daily disbelief from the time has been replaced by a cosmic era-spanning disbelief. Was it the juice?

And don't forget a classic January for Steve Phillips. Overhauling the roster, Stevie was kind enough to make trades with the league's shittiest teams. Shitty teams are shitty in part because they have shitty players. I know it's not scientific, but it seems to me a hypothesis worth exploring. Anyhow, the Mets history of interactions with the Devil Rays, Rockies, and Brewers should at least raise eyebrows. In an 11 player trade that could be called a "blockbuster" only if you ignore the shittiness of the players involved, the Mets said goodbye to Zeile and Agbayani and landed:
*outfielder Jeromy Burnitz, righthander Jeff D'Amico and four others in a three-team transaction involving the Milwaukee Brewers and Colorado Rockies.
* infielder-outfielder Lou Collier, outfielder Mark Sweeney and minor leaguers Craig House and Ross Gload.

Shitty teams are shitty because they have shitty players.
To be continued.