HOT STOVE, Shoobie Doobie (TM)

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HOTSTOVE, MAKE YOU DANCE!
Welcome to this year's first installment of HOT STOVE, Shoobie Doobie! This is the time of the year where the Mets' fanbase works themselves into a silly lather playing Junior GM, spreading ridiculous rumors, wacky predictions, posting useless imaginary lineups, inventing trades, and generally proposing things that would in reality run the team into the ground! And you know what? I want in!! I plan to match them, baseless accusation for groundless rumor! It was fun last off-season, when all our dreams came true AND the team didn't play half bad after all the HOTSTOVE cookin.' What does this winter have in store?

Like James used to say..."The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing. "

Pitching Philosophy
SI's John Donovan in his article "The Edge of Reason," argues what we should all already know.
There is discussion over at Metsblog too. The spirit of Donovan's analysis is a reasonable basis for going forward. Moving rapidly into the post-Pedro, Omar should consider moving away from the old Met model--securing marquee free agent starters for dubious long term contracts--and to a new Met model of developing our own, be they from the farm or from the scrap heap. The Mets already have what many smart teams want--young promising starting pitching under contract, reasonably priced. Why ruin that by over-doing it in the old "established" pitching market? So, using a new "young" pitching model, I dont think there is a need to concede to Glavine's demands either. You really think John Maine isn't as good a bet as Toothless Tom to put up similar numbers at a fraction of the price? Zito is debatable at this point, as he is young and has had some sucess--price and contract length will probably work against him becoming a Met. Dice-K? Well...

Matsu-stupid
wow--its the begining of the end for the Sox. This is a dumb deal. It will be, however, a boon for the newspaper industry--the first time he goes on the DL with an elbow strain will be a massive media frenzy the likes of Beantown has never seen!

I love fans on the internet saying how the bids--in this case, $51 million--doesn't come out of the payroll numbers... No but guess who's pocket this comes out of?

I'll give you a hint-- in 2010, when you are sitting in beautiful CityPark, thinking about how great the $20mil/ year corporate payout is providing the salary of that $20 million corner outfielder you always dreamed of... you'll turn to your wife and kids to share this bit of wisdom, but they won't be there to hear your knowing aside...you're there all alone because you could only afford to buy one $80 ticket in the nosebleeds and it was either little Johnny or the $75 parking fee.

There is a relationship between "Fred's Money" and fans, you knuckleheads...it's a nice example of what Marx (Karl not Groucho) called false consciousness.

Me I'm gonna try to have a son--a left handed pitching son that is.

Old Duque

what's that you say, sonny? I'm resigned? oh happy days, now i can afford prescription drugs again!

Speaking of dumb, the Sox are not alone this off season. That’s right, sitting in the dunce chair right next to the young pup GM is our own Omar. Throwing 6 mil for 2 (two) years at a mysterious, and apparently easily injured 56 year old is lunacy. Sorry, there's no way around it. This stings especially because it was originally reported that it was 2 at 6 mil, a more reasonable proposition. THis is ill-Duque.

And spare me the “he’s a bargain in this market” stuff. Just because something is a relative bargain, that doesn't make buying it a smart move in every context. if so, go ahead and take that great deal on a mercedes so you can go to work at Walmart in style.

And even worse...
what was the number one lesson of this postseason as far as pitching goes? (no, not "never give steve tr**hell a start"). You guessed it, you can not count on old and fragile starting pitching, especially if it makes up 3/5's of your rotation. Sooner AND later, you will get burned. Guess Omar is still digesting that lesson 'cause he's throwing mad cash at geezers so far this season.

So please could we have a moratorium on all these "El Duque's great in the playoffs" comments until the time when he doesn't disappear from our playoff dreams by hurting himself badly jogging sprints before a game? He might be great in the playoffs but I'd like to see it here first.

This off season is not off to an auscpicious start, unless you're a lobbyist for the AARP.

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IMFM Exclusive!


caption: "Bite me Girardelli, next season you can watch on tv while i manage my boys to the World Series, chump!"


I have obtained a FULL transcript of Willie's comments on the occasion of Joe Giradi's beating him out for Manager of the Year. It turns out there is a little more to the story than the press reported.

Here are some of the missing snippets of his statement:

"Congratulations to Joe. I couldn't be prouder of what we've accomplished in my two years with the Mets [especially seeing as though I did what I did in the toughest city in the league with all the worlds' attention on my every move while you did it somewhere in Florida in front of millions of empty seats for a team no one cares about that is always 5 minutes away from a fire sale and a move to Mormon country]. We went from 71 wins to 83 wins to 97 victories, and a Division title and the best record in the National League this year. [Meanwhile you and your sorry ass team couldn't even muster 80 wins and you lost your damn job cause of your big mouth--Willie might be sound asleep on the bench, but he knows when to keep his mouth shut!]

We achieved a lot in 2006, but [in stunning contrast to you and your forthplace finishing mutherf*ing Fish pansies], we won't be completely satisfied until we reach our ultimate goal which is a World Series title [and unlike you, i took my team to the only place where a team actually has a chance at the World Series and no, that isn't one step from the National League East basement, if you're wondering it's the P to the L-a offs bitch!]."
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This just in!
He used to Swallow, but now he just Sucks!

The Tampa Bay D-Rays have just won the right to negotiate with Japanese Yakult Swallows' 3rd baseman Akinori Iwamura. Rumor is their bid of $14.59 and three unscratched lottery tickets beat out other bidders such as the AA Tangipahoa Baccalaureates and that guy Trash-Can Sam from down at the track! When reached for a comment, Iwamura expressed his joy at being able to come and play for a team so closely affiliated with the NY Yankees, but seemed a little confused as to the precise nature of the Ray's role as record-padder and AL East whipping boy. Reports that Baltimore's Jim Duquette called Tampa's front office offering them Scott Kazmir for Iwamura's rights are as of yet unsubstantiated.

*image stolen from http://www.james-brown.net/JBrown.gif