It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

HOT STOVE Shoobie Doobie! (TM) What's it gonna be?

Ahh. Tom Glavine.

Ahh. Tom Glavine. What do I have nice to say about you? Hmmm. Nothing at all.

are you sharking us, tommy, or yourself?

Tom Glavine is currently waiting for his "family" to decide whether he should return to the team that for some reason actually wants him, or the team he won 200+ games for back when he was good. This is starting to annoy me. Not so much the waiting, which is normal, but more the idea that Omar would pony up anymore than $7 million for this soft-tossin has been. Based on what, Omar? I used to indulge in all manner of Glavine bashing, calling him "Agent Tomahawk," to reflect the fact that he was clearly sent to the Mets as a double agent by the devious Br*ve GM. But Glavine's fall was so precipitous after he signed with NY that his recent mediocrity has been mistaken for sucess by some metsfans. But even so, I started the HOT STOVE generally thinking he could be plugged in at #3 in the Mets rotation, seeing as he OWES us some decent starts, especially with the proven starting pitching shortage. Ya know what Tommy baby, this little should i stay or should i go doesn't exactly make up for your lack of loyalty and mediocre performance over the last 4 years of money stealin'. And now you want more of Fred's cash, some say as high as $12 mil per year. I think you're being a little greedy, when a humble, even apologetic attitude is in order. Even though members of the NY media refuse to point it out, I don't think the Br*ves are dumb enough or nostalgic enough to want you, although they are a bunch of hicks so you never know. For what it's worth, I can't seem to find a single article out of Atlanta that mentions Shuerholtz is at all interested. What I have found ain't that optimistic. So now I'm kinda hoping that Tom has dragged his heels and Omar realises the money is better spent somewhere else. So go back, Tom, we really don't need you on the payroll. Really. Buhbye!

Hmm, where's my screwdriver, its time to negotiate with the Mets!

without further ado...
To the tune of the 1988 classic,
What's it gonna be?
by Ratt as sung by itsmetsforme, dedicated to that faithful Br*ve, Tom Glavine.
(turn it up Loud baby!)

Oh yeah!
My, my, my
Your numbed out fingers
The sensation lingers
You roll your eyes better than you make up your mind
The noise your makin'
No hearts are breakin'
The promises were empty and your blood runs cold

So tell me ...

What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy
Does it really matter where you pitch BP?
What's it gonna be Chris, Amber and Jonathan,
Should you be waiting for the Bruins to call?

I can feel the danger (Danger)
We're living like strangers
It's two different worlds
And maybe you can live in both
Are you sin or sinner (Sin or sinner)
Who'll keep me warm this winter?
I can tell something's wrong
You've fallen for another fan

Is that true?

What's it gonna be sweet Tom-a-hawk Tommy?
Just give it to me straight, is it him or me?
What's it gonna be Chris, Amber and Jonathan
You gonna stay in N.Y. or head back and put on the sheets?

What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy?
No matter what you say, you're gonna end up a Br*ve
What's it gonna be Toothless Tommy
Burnin' all your bridges, Omar will put out the fire

C'mon Tom, Chris is too cute to live in Georgia! Hey wait she looks like one of those sister celebrities from the south.

This post may look a lot like a hate-filled, desparate cry for help, but I figure many Metsfans are from Jersey so are most likely Ratt fans...what the hell.

Just as we all always knew, Bobby Cox loves animals.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.