HOT STOVE Shoobie Doobie! (TM) "Jump back, Kiss Myself!"

Happy Thanksgiving!!

“Hair is the first thing. And teeth the second. Hair and teeth. A man got those two things he's got it all.”

What am I thankful for? Well, idiotic columnists for one thing. Where would the blogs of this generation be without lazy, poorly informed reporters, or inane broadcasters? We fans couldn't laugh our asses off nearly as much if sites like Fire Joe Morgan didn't have a constant source of material.

In his "Sports of the Times column," "Those Who Deserve an Extra Helping of Pie" in today's New York Times, Dave Anderson raves about Carlos Delgado, who he calls "by far the best free agent signing in the history of the franchise." Now I know its hard for a guy to tell the difference between the Mets two older marquee players. They're both named Carlos, and neither one of them wanted to play for the Mets originally. But here's a hint: the guy who the Mets signed has a gigantic mole on his head! No pie for you, Dave!

Who are we all thankful for? Wallace Matthews. Wallace's anti-Met pessimism and vitriol are out of step with the times but he gives Mets fans with widely disparate views a rallying point: "Matthews is a real Dickhead!" In his latest, holiday-themed column, "Mets Making Turkeys of their Fans", Matthews spreads the cheer, taking the brass to task for their "sweetheart stadium deal" and their recent signings of the aged and infirm. Hey Wallace, the Grinch only steals Christmas, so get your hands off Thanksgiving!




*http://www.james-brown.net/JBrown.gif