It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, March 23, 2009

Who'd a Thunk It?

Which one of the above mirror-loving men's careers would you have guessed was on the rise?

Alex Rodriguez, who's very good at baseball, is apparently really good at nothing else. The new issue of Details magazine for men who wear perfume features pictures of A-Rod licking a mirror and posing with what appears to be a dirty old mattress, and I'm not talking about Madonna. I mean, I dislike the Yankees and enjoy seeing their image getting dragged through the mud, but what the f*ck is going on? This guy seems bent on disgracing the game of baseball. The Corpse of Joe Torre and Tom Verducci's The Yankee Years claims that Rodriguez's teammates had given him the nickname "A-Fraud." When a bunch of Yankees pull the needles out of their asses long enough to call you a fraud, you know you've hit the bottom.

According to the Details article, Rodriguez's manager Guy Oseary, "who has worked with Madonna for more than two decades." is quoted as saying "He really hasn't had the chance to show people who he really is." Oh Guy, I think he's had plenty of chances. In fact, we've seen quite enough of him. Rodriguez seems to like to take his clothes off in public places. I wonder if this photoshot with his ex is what got him started? Trust me, I know how that first thrill of jumping naked into a public fountain. It can have you chasing that feeling for a lifetime.

arod_wife-cynthia-lenny-kravitz-mad.jpg image by berecruited

But then his publicly nude partners got odder and odder. There was no reason for him to pose for this skit (poor Biff). Yet he did.

And I bet it seemed like cute idea to reprise his earlier successes with an even homelier model:

Now I'm starting to feel sorry for the guy. I mean he keeps outdoing himself in stupidity and he seems to be unable to stop lying to reporters. There was absolutely no reason for him to take steroids, much in the same way there is no reason to retain whoever is advising him on his image. Yet he did and does. Give us a break A-Rod!

Here's a few things he still has going for him:

He doesn't suck as much as Derek Jeter, who made another costly error last night, helping usher team USA out of the WBC tournament. (As I have said before, Derek Jeter Hates America. And he just keeps proving it. When will Congress get involved?)

He (claims to have) voted for Obama.

Ok when I started that list, I thought I would come up with more. But two things, that's not so bad, right? So in conclusion, Alex, quit it. There's only two guys I can think of that benefit from all the attention your recent behavior has drawn, and that's these tough guys:


  • At 5:04 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I actually think tht is. finds out who that ARod's photo is LESS embarssing than the Wright-Reyes one. That is travesty. And ARod will show us his real self the day he finds out who that is.

  • At 5:06 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Ugh. Keyboard trouble. Here is what I thought I typed"

    I actually think that ARod's photo is LESS embarassing than the Wright-Reyes one. That is travesty. And ARod will show us his real self the day he finds out who that is.

  • At 8:11 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Someone really should write a dissertation with a thesis concerning why 'roided up guys like A-Rod and Clemens are so attracted to muscular, mannish women. Fascinating. Displaced homoerotic feelings? Latent homosexuality?? Misogyny? Narcissism? An entire chapter could be devoted to how the picture of A-Rod dreamily kissing his own muscly self fits into the theory.

  • At 10:21 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    What about Reyes kissing Castillo's armpit and stuff during that dugout interview on Sunday?

  • At 10:42 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    haha thanks for the comments. Livens up what isn't my strongest piece of work. This guy manages his image like Rodger Cedeno managed centerfield, and I just felt compelled to write something. I got nothing though, just counting the days til I can use the headline "Livan, the Vida Loca" i guess.

    And Katherine, I'll write that thesis right after I discover why pro athletes insist on congratulating each other by slapping each other's asses. I played sports for a while as a kid and found that patting people on the shoulder or back worked just fine.

    Jdon, i think you're right. They just look like a smurf gang out to collect a payment or something.


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