It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The FOREST for the TREES: Post the 500th

To: Omar Minaya, NY Mets GM
RE: From Joe "Corpse" Torre's new book:

Remember the story about Carlos Beltrán’s willingness to take a major discount to play for the Yankees instead of the Mets? Joe Torre tells why: “Beltrán wanted to come to us, so he could hide among the trees. Nobody wants to be that guy to lead.”

Need more trees Omar. Start in left field.


Carlos Beltran: "I never work in my life. "

Hmm. Now that you understand him a bit more, are hungry for more inside dirt on how the Mets free swinging centerfielder sees things? Beltran was interviewed, apparently by a 3rd grader, on SNY's website back in the good old days. Here's excerpts:

SNY: What's your favorite food?

Beltran: Rice, beans, pork chops, and plantains.

SNY: What was your first car?

Beltran: BMW.

SNY: Other than baseball, what was your first job?

Beltran: I never work in my life.

SNY: In your cd-player/ipod, what songs are you listening to? What songs are your favorite?

Beltran: Religious music. Christian music.

SNY: What's the best thing about New York?

Beltran: It's always fun.

SNY: Something most people don't know about you?

Beltran: I'm a nice guy.

SNY: If you could take one thing with you to a deserted island, what would it be?

Beltran: My wife.

SNY: Who's the nicest guy on the team?

Beltran: Can't say one.

SNY: Who's the best tipper?

Beltran: I usually eat by myself, but when I go with the young guys, I need to take care of them, so I tip.

SNY: Who's the most superstitious?

Beltran: Victor Zambrano. He has the same routine every time he has success.

SNY: Who's the best dresser?

Beltran: Gotta say me. I dress well. Also Floyd.

SNY: Who's the worst dresser?

Beltran: Gotta say Lima, he dresses funny.


As for the Mets, it's beginning to look a lot like we fans will be going into the season...discontented. Per Metsblarg, they're taking to the streets for Manny; I'm no activist, and the country is in the shitter, but that's a cause I could support. And Omar has time to pay attention, since now that Pedro's a turkey, Omar doesn't spend Thanksgiving or any other holidays with him anymore.

Mystery to Me/ Old Video Dept.

They actually DO pick out their own at-bat music. And I was wrong: Sandford and Son was not meant to reflect Cliff Floyd's physical condition.

The best i could do, on short notice.

At first glance, I thought the San Fransisco Giants, looking to get older, were entertaining an Edgardo Alphonso comeback. Turns out, Fonz is just trying out for the Yomiuri Giants in Japan.

In the Stock of laughing department...

The Mets are now being blamed for things they didn't do. Paul Lukas of ESPN's Queer Eye for the Sports Guy, fresh off calling the ShitiPatch "arguably the saddest, most pathetic design element ever slated to appear on a big league uniform," has this to say about the Ranger's new helmet:

"Like so many bad MLB ideas in recent years, this one can be traced to the Mets, who've been wearing their own two-tone helmet since 2006."

Far enough. From the article, I gather that the 1999 Mariners who started the trend of futuristic uniforms imagined that, in the future, they'd really suck and designed a uniform to reflect that. The Bud's MLB then took it to heart as they do with all bad ideas.

I think we can all agree they met their goals.

I'm just surprised Lukas didn't blame this on Joe McEwing.


Kirk Radomski is trying to drag Doc Gooden into the steroids fiasco. Doc's defense? He says that he's done enough bad things without being accused of things he hasn't done. I trust him, he's a doctor.


The logical end of ESPN's anti-Met agenda has arrived. Shitty baseball broadcasting is what it is. But now it's personal.


Let's hear it for me!

According to my robot overlords at the corporation that brought us the nearly useless Blogger software, this would be somewhere around my 501st post, so to all you mothers out there...Happy Birthday! To celebrate, I thought I'd item you to death with this post. Thanks for your support and the cash you send me occasionally.

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  • At 4:26 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Congrats to IMFM for your staying power and genius!

  • At 5:10 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    thanks CVER but I couldn't of done it without you. Well I *could* still be a genius.
    But without the comments of (cue historical montage)Cver, YB, Springfan, Jaap, Constnza,MP, Andrew, Katherine, Jdon, Help-a-rascal, Keyser, Alyssa Milano, Allan, Anonymous, and even Dan to get me though the lean times, I'd just be another handsome Metsfan with a keyboard.

    thanks gang.


    However none of you have ever really has understood me as deeply as my May 7th, 2006, 4:31PM visitor:

    "You're a heartless jerk. And this site is full of nothing but whining, tired cliches and mindless negativity. Which I suppose is why you're pretty much talking to yourself. You seem to never have a kind word for the Mets, so it's a mystery why you chose this subject to begin with. Unless you really think your tired, dour Met-bashing "wit" makes you seem cool.

    Blogging has oh so much to answer for."

    I didn't know it at the time, but my site would eventually grow into this poster's fabulous vision: an indictment of blogging in general, if not communication itself.

  • At 3:13 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Good grief. For a second there I thought the Mets had RE-SIGNED Victor Zambrano!

    Still, one can never be sure about Omar....


    All these exercises in futility. How many WS have the Mets won while you were furiously opining on the Web?

    Do you think you will reach 1000 before they do win one?

    I do.

  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Congrats IMFM! Only 2 weeks to pitchers and catchers!

  • At 7:07 PM, Anonymous Keyser said…

    I feel honored to be considered among the greats that compose the IMFM universe.

    I wish I could take part in the "sign Manny" rallies. If I tried to start one here, they would think I was a Dodgers fan *shudder*.

  • At 7:39 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Too bad you have all been missing my daily OMAR IS A RUBE Rallies here in the bunker.

  • At 10:52 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    Omar's comments today on meeting his goals are asinine, and i think he really means it. The wilpons are just concentrating on raising ticket prices for their tiny new stadium and selecting the appropriate level for the concession gauging to commence.

    after overpaying with no competition for that dunderhead Oliver Perez, that is a new low.

    it might turn out to be a tie between omar and manny for the title of most clueless hot stove 09. They deserve each other, is what's ironic.

    here is how cerrone recalls his conversation with Doh'Mar:

    "Minaya told reporters there will be no big moves after today, saying all of his big priorities have been met, while noting offense was not the team’s problem last season.
    Minaya would not say if he would consider Ramirez for the league minimum, laughing at the idea of Boras ever allowing such a transaction.
    He says put a plan together when the off-season started and he and his staff were focused and able to do what they set out to do.
    Again, he said he is happy with the team he has."

    I can't believe its the same team as last year, outside of two guys. The bullpen was not the only problem and the offense will surely decline. worst of all we have to watch ollie and pedreadful Feliciano again. Catcher sucks, left field and right are unproven. Even if you think the offense wasn't the team's problem last year, it will be this year. Sigh, Omar will probably still be here next season telling us how he fixed last year's problem without planning for this year again.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.