This Time, Mets Try to Get More from Reds than Pat Zachry, Doug Flynn, Steve Henderson, and Dan Norman

Mike Pelfrey: "I think I'll go for a walk. I feel happy!"

Some reading notes for your Wednesday enjoyment:

I think anything less than a sweep of the Reds will be a disappointment. I think this Reds team is overrated since they lost the immortal Helicopter Patterson. Meanwhile, mad scientist and occasional columnist Tom Verducci is trying to convince Big Pelf, today's starter, that he is about to be injured. But the Tongue is having none of it.


Once merely a fifth starter, Pelfrey has really shot up the charts.

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I would enter the drawing for Bernie Madoff's Mets tickets, but I don't think I can stand to get another "sorry you weren't chosen" email from anyone. I have never won the chance to pay a kings ransom for Mets tickets, not even once. If you want to try your luck, go for it.

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I'm both lazy and busy. So here's Wikipedia on what the title of the post refers to.

On June 15, 1977, the Reds entered the trading market with a vengeance. New York was heartbroken by the news that the Mets' franchise pitcher Tom Seaver was being traded to the Reds for Pat Zachry, Doug Flynn, Steve Henderson, and Dan Norman.


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Mascot madness
As my reader(s) know, for some reason I delight in mocking the mascot of each Met opponent as stand-ins for their teams. If you knew the time I spend searching for compromising pictures of guys dressed like animals, things and holy men, you'd have even less respect for me than you do now. But last night, I ran into something bigger than me, something that shook me to the bone. Now it's pretty bad and a little bit confusing that the Reds have not one, but two totally creepy looking Mr Met rip-offs.

One guy looks like he came from 70s porn, a barbershop quartet, lives next to Homer Simpson or all three.



The other looks as cuddly as an alien from a 50s movie


But, as I discovered during my "research," sweet lord it gets worse, so much worse.

Ladies and gentlemen, but hopefully not children, I bring you...
the Gapper.

"How He Got His Name: When he first got to Cincinnati, our big, red furry friend didn't have a name. At Redsfest 2002 a contest was launched and the Reds left the naming up to the fans. With over 6,000 submissions during the month of December, we were overwhelmed with the response. After sifting through all the great names, the Reds decided that the name that truly fit was "Gapper". The winner of the Name the Mascot contest received season tickets for the inaugural season in Great American Ball Park. Thanks to all those who participated and congratulations to our winners! "

I'm pretty sure Rosie Red keeps her distance.


I don't know what living in Ohio must be like, but it's probably all spelled out in the membership guide for the Reds Head Kid's Club!! If you have an opportunity to get to know a Gapper, or join the Head club for children, I hope you don't blow it!

Even with all the Reds disasters to chose from, Pete Rose betting on baseball, Marge Schott betting on Hitler, Ken Griffey taking a hometown discount, Rod Dibble posing for Playgirl...this has to rank up there.

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Mets inflating tiers

How's yer day goin?
Read the following sentence aloud, then click here.
"The Mets haven't even made the playoffs since 2006."

I'm being cute. But look here, I don't know what the technical meaning of the phrase "public trust" is, but I'm pretty sure the Mets are violating it:

David Newman, the Mets’ senior vice president for marketing and communications, said that the tier inflation was based on the team’s improvement in the standings over the past few years and the high demand to see the new ballpark, which has more amenities than Shea Stadium yet 15,000 fewer seats.

As Morris Day would say, Don't it make you mad?

(Don't cha all just hate it, when we walk into y'all's joint?
And just jerk out everything in sight?
Don't it make you mad?
Jerk out - Don't it make you mad?
Jerk out - It'd make me mad! 4:25)

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Enjoy tonight's game, because I'm told Oliver Perez, aka Doh'Pee, is taking the hill, or just as likely, being taken by the hill on Thursday. God, the thought gives me a headache.