It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Opening Day Just Another Gauging Opportunity for $terling
Oliver Perez has his normal effect on fan morale.

Ah the Mets are back. In case you're worried you won't recognize the team, the Sunday matinee against the Sawx will comfort you that all the awesome qualities are still there. I decided to break out the exploding head early, risking that I might be going there quite often this year. It was only an exhibition, but Mets Baseball is back baby. Oliver Perez giving up an error-aided 6 spot and not getting through an inning of work (they really should pay him by the inning). David Wright and his second baseman's arm unable to complete another makable double play. Offense impotent with RISP. This struck me particularly as I watched Wright and his lame check swing get punched out after Murphy gallantly getting to third in the 5th. Jose Reyes popping up on first pitches. Luis Castillo looking at times like he could already could use a spate of road games. The new field has apparently forced SNY and their sister channel you use such a wide angle that you can barely make out to which team the player in the outfield is on. The camera angle (and player performance) made it difficult to tell the scrubs like Malo from the roster spots like Cora. Well, I could tell that it was Marlon Anderson kneeing a catchable fly ball, and booting it to the wall. But its apparently cavernous confines are enough to fill me with dread when I think of the defensive liabilities that will be seeing regular time out there. I saw Mets farmhand scrub Dillon Gee for the first time, and I don't think anyone can blame me for instantly preferring the way he unravels (and at a great price) to Perez's method, if only for the punning possibilities.

In the 7th, Keith Hernandez mentioned on air that he once went to Jamaica with Fran Healy. That would make a pretty good movie, novel, television program, etc.

I don't know what happened in the bottom of the 9th because the MLB dopes cut away from the game.

The morning's papers help answer the question, what happens when the unbearable force meets unbalanced object? Wally Matthews, who hates the Mets but makes more sense everyday, checks in with some ruminations as to the length of Sheffield's tenure, noting that the Mets seem to favor cheap washed up malcontents when given the choice between an impact potential malcontent. I don't know if Wally visits the locker room, but if he runs into Sheffield there, the beatdown might finally end Matthew's reign of terror.

It looks like the Mets got Bud Selig's memo directing all teams who feel like it to invent new and more mysterious ways to gauge fans. Remind any one else of the way the American financial system was (is) run?

First, the MLB teams up with legitimized scalpers at Stubhub. Now no one but scalpers seems to be able to get tickets at face value, and the MLB gets a nice kickback. There has been a lot of outcry over this, (though probably not enough) and I won't add to the din. It's complicated, but I'm pretty sure its the fans that are the targets to be fucked over here. And it won't stop til the empty seats take over.

Now the Mets are apparently trying to trick the slower gazelles among us into bidding on premium seats that they can't move in the first place. Matthew Artus is having none of it, correctly as I see it, calling the shMets out for this low down scheme. One of the things I like to do during a great depression is watch how slowly companies move away from shameful behavior as customers get less willing to tolerate it. It can even become a moral issue if people get pissed enough. The only thing it seems that can make companies do the right thing or pretend to act morally is an economic downturn. Or so I thought. Airlines are fucking us left and right with baggage fees (I'm looking at you Continental, you fucks). Car makers are the only one's we have over a barrel, and as sad as it is to jeopardize honest blue color jobs, those car making fuckers obviously brought it upon themselves with arrogant shitty management. Yet they still find the money to make these pathetic "buy a car and lose your job and we'll take the car back or something" scheme commercials. I truly hope no one is that dumb. Meanwhile, our own Sterling Inc., screwed by the Madoff scheme, are trying to recoup some of that dough by exploiting us.

Are the Mets attempting a
Fonzie Scheme?


Speaking of my favorite bugaboos, I took MLB up on their offer for free pre-season game and tried out their "new improved" internet broadcast of yesterday's Mets-Sawx encounter. I have a brand new kickin' Mac and high speed cable by the way. The picture was still grainy (didn't bother installing the HD software). But maybe it wasn't half bad and I even considered signing up despite my self, probably seduced by the dulcet tones of Gary, Keith and Ron.

So I came so close to giving the MLB my credit digits, then the baseball gods intervened and saved me from a big mistake when the Friday game crapped out around the 8th inning after the rain out and, on Saturday, the MLB geniuses decided to go with canned content instead of live game action. Yes, MLB.TV and the MLB network both cut away from game in the 9th inning (with Mets "threatening") to give us instead a documentary featuring need-to-know information about BJ Upton!! The game might be meaningless, but if a fan tunes in to the game, they want to see the fucking game. MLB handles their new expanded broadcasting duties like they handled the use of performance enhancing drugs.

So, uh, the internet product is still fatally flawed. Video would stall with audio not so far behind. Some things never change. It seems to me they can tweak MLB.TV til the Royals win the pennant, but its always going to be susceptible to network hick ups and software. And you will still always be 3-15 minutes behind reality. So, after trying for the first time since 2007, I can legitimately restate my thesis:


During the rain delay on Friday, I did get to watch Omar wriggle and squirm after he announced he signed aged-clubhouse cancer and DH Sheffield to come and cripple the brand new clubhouse at Citi Field with his bizarre brand of sullen swatting. Omar seems to know the NL does not have the DH rule, so I dunno. The bottom line is, it probably affects Marlon Anderson and Ryan Church the most, neither of who's morale seems very important to me for this team to succeed. Watching Murphy misplay that fly ball has to get everyone worried, since Citi Field's outfield seemed like Flushing National Park this weekend.

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  • At 3:55 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Dillon Gee? Is he any relation to Ali G?

  • At 4:48 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    In his second inning of work, he more resembled Borat.

  • At 6:49 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    It is just that I have never seen a name like that, unless he is Asian, of course. Otherwise, it is not a name; it is a mild expletive.

  • At 11:23 PM, Blogger steve said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 11:24 PM, Blogger steve said…

    Typical "fan",claims they're passionate about their team,but bellyaches and complains about every friggin' thing.No need to be Chicken Little dude,the sky is not always falling...

  • At 1:18 AM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    I don't remember claiming to be passionate.

  • At 12:01 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    You'll see I've come to a different conclusion regarding despite the weekend. Safety in numbers. So what are you going to do for a Mets fix in lieu of "mlb screw me" alternative?

    and to writer "steve", I'd mention what a wonderfully reductive mind you possess. A passionate fan is a YES fan, Mr Forme, just remember that. It works sort of like patriotism. If you say anything unflattering about your country you must be a pinko commie or a terrorist. Same if you're a Mets fan. The way I see it Mr Forme, you're not a "real" Mets fan. You're just masquerading as a Mets fan because there wasn't any more room on the Phillies fans Blog Roll, was there? That's why you're
    bellyachin and complaining about every little thing. That's not the sky falling down on your head, chicken little, those are all the World Champions trophies the Mets won the last two seasons hitting you on the head, that is. So remember that next time you think about going negative on our gawddamed Mets, pinko. A passionate fan keeps his gob shut and let's it all roll off his back, whoooop!

  • At 3:50 AM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I am not a passionate fan. I rely on intelligence and good spelling.

  • At 7:29 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Re: MLB.TV

    ALL DAY LONG at work I was fantasizing about coming home tonight and watching the archived game, especially once I saw the final score!

    Now it's almost bedtime and all evening long every time I tried to turn on the game I get a message saying it's "almost ready, check back in a few minutes" AIEEEE!!!

  • At 10:34 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    good spelling certainly is your strong suite, jdon.

    katherine, mlb just is editing out all of david wright's knuckleheaded plays for your pleasure.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.