It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Mets Overcome Ollie's Follies to Swat Gnats

The Mets have to bring change to Washington (and Atlanta), and win the "easy" ones if they hope to keep their lead over the Phils till there ain't no more games. For a while, it didn't look good last night. This series is apparently the Gnats' World Series, so they are focused and intent on spoiling things for the real teams in the NL East, even after the Mets went and gave them Lastings Milledge this past off-season and everything!! The Met offense was jammin, but the pitching was looking all collapsy, led by the Human Mini-collapse Oliver Perez, who incidentally plans to demand a king's ransom for his services in the off-season. Just when it looked like an easy night for the Mets, it was time to duck and cover.

Next Jerry sent in the clowns, and --in a novel twist--one reliever after another could not get the job done. Nelson Figueroa came out of the pen to face the softball girls and got whaled on. Brandon Knight followed and performed like a "special" Olympian (ok that was a low the Special Olympians). Finally Smith, Show and Stokes were able to finally contain the mighty Nationals. The Mets offense was able to pick up the slack and, after Billy Wagner cried his way off stage earlier in the day, Luis Ayala was left to continue being the Mets closer til further notice, sort of like Sarah Palin is a candidate for Vice President. Meanwhile, the Fish led by Babyhead Cody Ross, built a ginormous lead over Philadelphia. Then they tried their damnest to squander it only to have the Phils run out of innings. Result? Mets are 3 up in the loss column.

All of my in-game anger is directed at two people.

Perez bites.

1) Olive Oil Perez.
Big game you doofus. Big is the opposite of small. I know this isn't always true, but big ticket pitchers come up big in big situations. They (sort of) earn the right to demand a lot of money. It was just deflating and depressing to watch you give all those runs right back.

2) Luis Aguayo.
Aguayo of course, is the man who single-handedly ran the Mets right out of first place in July by sending Endy Chávez home on David Wright base hits where he'd be thrown out by a country mile each time. As the Times put it, "Those two lost runs proved crucial when the Phillies scored six in the ninth to shock the Mets and take sole possession of first place in the National League East."

Here's how that NY Times column from July described Aguayo's decision making process:

Take a peek into the mind of Luis Aguayo, the Mets’ third-base coach, as he weighs whether to wave a runner home. He is processing the outfielder’s arm strength, his accuracy, which arm he throws with, where he retrieves the ball and how quickly he charged it. He is considering the runner’s stride, his speed, the width of his turn around second base, who else is on base and who is due up next. He is calculating the score, the number of outs and the inning.

Um, from what I have seen, Aguayo's thought process goes more like this:

Should I send him? It would take a half decent throw to nail my runner. I never used to get tequila headaches. So if they hit the cutoff man, my runner is toast. Delgado is coming up next and he seems to hit homeruns every other at-bat. BUURP! I wonder if I set the Tivo. Hey, are those boobies? These jockeys sure ride and bind. Anyway, I love the workout I get from windmilling my arm....wheeeee!


Labels: ,


  • At 3:58 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    I agree 100% on Ollie. I retract any previous suggestions that we pursue him in the offseason.

    And last night I was wondering, "What was Luis Aguayo THINKING?" after he sent David. Well, now I know.

    Did you get the SNY broadcast? Did you notice that in the Toyota text poll 8% of respondents thought Aaron Heilman should be our closer? Does he have a large family?

    I called my elderly mother (who is a rabid Mets fan) last night during the game, and she was all upset, "that DAMN Ryan Church hit a home run" she said, "He always hits so well against us". I had to gently remind her he was on our team this year. I think she had fallen asleep and woke up thinking it was September 07.

  • At 9:01 AM, Anonymous Keyser said…

    Lets not go crazy about Ollie just yet. He has come up big in a number of big games this year. Im willing to give him a pass on this one. Lets see how he does in his next start.

  • At 9:49 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    "Did you get the SNY broadcast? Did you notice that in the Toyota text poll 8% of respondents thought Aaron Heilman should be our closer? Does he have a large family?"

    Har--I just assumed that peoples' fingers slipped. I gotta think his family hates him more than we do, seeing as what he's done to the good Heilman name and all. Katherine, you need your own blog--you're killing me with the one liners. Maybe your mom can co-write it?

    yes Keyser, give him a pass, but are you (and your insides) willing to put up with 5 more years of this? ($12million or something).Yes he could strike out close to 300 guys or win 15 games, but then there's nights like this..arrgghhh!

    Big congrats, by the way, on bringing the Guisepe Franco magic to the oft-neglected Los Angeles based Mets fan base. Now all we need to next is secure stadium funding and start our campaign to bring the Mets to Silver Lake!

  • At 2:22 PM, Anonymous cverez said…

    Maybe you guys can get the Dodgers to build a stadium modeled after Shea with a Tommie Agee Rotunda.

  • At 9:28 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Adios, Senor Poopyface!

  • At 12:53 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    poopyface has no amigos.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.