Like It Never Happened

The Mets salvaged the last game of their poorly-played series with the Phils, Carlos Delgado rendering the limp offense temporarily turgid with a just few swings of the bat. So basically, from the Phillies perspective, they're right back where they started, 2 games back. It's like this series never happened. It certainly barely happened for wunderkind Daniel Murphy, batting .361 and having quality at-bats in big spots, who Jerry saw fit to sit this key series out, save one pinch hitting dish trip in the first game.

It has to be frustrating for the Phillies, taking two out of three just to end up in the same damn hole. Especially since two of their pitchers turned in their top effors and Mike Schmidt emailed them to tell them they were better than the Mets. Now it's kind of out of their hands. As celebrated baseball scientist Joe Morgan noted during the strangely Jeterless* ESPN Sunday broadcasts, the Mets just aren't going to collapse like they did last year (meaning the Phils can't beat the Mets 8 times in a row cause they don't play them again this season).

Troubling signs abound. Pedro Martinez is looking all but done, and now the Mets have to seriously consider replacing 2/5's of their rotation in the last month of official play. Billy Wagner is all set-backy; Countrytime Lemon is crying hick tears and it looks like "Ayala and Reyes and Pray for Double Plays" will be the Mets' 9th inning mantra from here on in. Fred Wilpon can start using all the windfall profits from the coming Citi-gauge to fill the suitcase of currency it's gonna take to get Francisco Rodrigez's attention. (Does K-Rod like dark turkey meat or white, Omar?) The play of the Wonder Twins, Jose Reyes (0 fer 9 today) and David Wright has been, in the words of that voice of American musical mediocrity (not to mention Shaggy), ponderous, fucking ponderous.

Form of...a MVP worthy third baseman who can hit with RISP! No, a speedster who tries bunting for a base hit during a slump to get himself going! No, form of...a talented young nucleus!

Looking at the Mets opposition for the rest of the season's series, only the Cubs stand out of a parade of beatable NL East laughing stocks. Many fans would relax; the Mets have already played the tough part of their schedule and they're still in first, right? Nope. We Mets fans, well we know what could happen when you put a bunch of malcontent "spoiler" little-market teams in the ring with the Mets' occasional offense and suspect bullpen.

That whole "Mets get unbelievably hot in September and roll into the NLCS" fantasy is going to be hard to maintain if Wright and Reyes don't get out of their slumps. Johan, Ollie, and Big Tired Pelf doesn't make a dominant playoff three as far as I can tell.

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As an embarassed electonic internet diaryist, I'm mortified that "bloggers" is what Fox and TBS came up with when they had their staff meeting about what theme they could top themselves with after last years' Dane Cook embarassment. But Jeff Foxworthy as a blogger, is that what that is? Now according to demographics I'm a hick that lives in my mom's basement, loves October, and responds positively to really intolerable minor celebrities. Dane Cook, Jeff Foxworthy. The terrorists have won. It's impossible to come up with jokes about this because it is a joke. We need to wrest our national pastime away from the likes of Fox and TBS if they can't treat post season baseball with the proper respect.

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Looks like Agent Tomahawk Gl*vine is at it again, infiltrating and subverting his homeland this time. Does that make him a triple agent?

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Some internet poster said it: Pedro for $50 mil for one decent year was no bargain. This is no newsflash but is doubly annoying when you think of this: the Mets couldn't land Guerrero (back) and shipped off K*zmir (mechanics, music choice, body type or whatever) for health-related justifications, but fragile already peaked Pedro and keeping Luis Castillo from the Astros' clutches were deemed worthy investments. It just goes to show you, GM justifications are just that--rationalizations for decisions already made. This team would be right where it is now if it didn't sign Pedro or Castillo. Beltran might have said Pedro's presence influenced him, but he also offered himself to the Yankers for less money and would have gone there if Cashman had bit. Most of these things are all about the benjamins for the players, and increasingly for the GMs.

*With the Derek "Every kind of Mo" Jeter spot airing on ESPN and the 30-40 "Jeter's got an Edge" spots that torture SNY viewers every game, one has to wonder if these networks haven't hired Chipper "You No Who" Jones as Director of advertising.