Death, Taxes, and Aaron Heilman Sucks

Aaron Heilman, in happier times, poses with some people he could get out if his life depended on it.

Thank god for life's little certainties. There is no need to discuss last night's game much. Yeh yeh, the Mets bullpen and offense blew an opportunity to keep the Phillies in their place and stomp on the Marlin's neck. Nothing to see here.

Everyone knows that Dan Uggla and Cody Ross are little bitches but there's nothing new there.

The question we do need to consider is this: When is enough enough? How much Aaron Heilman do the Mets think we can take? It doesn't matter if Jerry has nowhere to turn, Aaron Heilman has been dooming the Mets chances for years. Why are Omar and Jerry not answering these questions on a daily basis? Is it because the newspaper business is a dying industry and the remaining reporters are looking to jump ship and/or spend all their time criticizing "bloggers"? What kind of management would continue to trot out this sad sack, key spot after key spot, important game after important game, year after year? The only analogy I can think of for this mind boggling circumstance is how Americans continue to vote for George W. Bush. After years of expecting Heilman to get traded waived killed only to see him up there failing one more time, it's that ponderous. Bush-level ponderous.

Handed the ball in any important or emotional situation, Aaron Heilman is guaranteed to fail. But, to be fair, Aaron does all kinds of failure:

Failure to live up to expectations when he was drafted.

Failure to develop an adequate arsenal of pitches to become a starter.

Little failure.

High profile failure.

Failure against the Cardinals.

Failure under guru-type pitching coach.

Failure under do nothing pitching coach.

Big time failure.

Failure on a plane.

Failure on a train.

Failure to merit a parking spot in spring training.

Failure not to bitch when he didn't have a parking spot.

Failure not to give ball parking spot in bullpen.

Give up the big bomb failure (personal fave).

and now...

Walk-off walk failure.

Aaron Heilman means:

Surrender

Capitulation

Disaster

Stubborn reliance on failed policies of the past.

There's an easy solution to this problem. Make Aaron Heilman an ex-Met as soon as possible.

That is all.