Pissing on the Parade

There is no such thing as a bad sweep of the Atlanta Br*ves, like they say there's no bad pizza. The Mets basically were gifted yesterday's finale courtesy of a bad ump call and a plot of slippery grass. So it hasn't made me as euphoric as it could, though I'd like a serving of personal revenge against the Asstros starting tonight. In the face of this season-long disaster, we Mets fans have nurtured the dream that the team will gel at the right time, come out of the NL East, and go improbably bonkers in the playoffs. But folks, we don't have a closer, a pen, or a consistent offense and this is by all reports a snake-bitten team. If you look past the recent feast of second division sad sacks, gaze deeply in the mirror, you know that the only thing going for the Mets this year with any consistency has been the poor quality of the NL East competition .

Perhaps it is, as Mark Herrmann of Newsday says, beginning to look a lot like the Mets can take this thing, this thing being the NL East crown. But if you a) have seen the Mets bullpen in action, b) occasionally watch highlights from around the league or c) remember the beat downs suffered at the hands of the Angels or Astros, you can't be too optimistic about the Mets October odds. And, if you're the skittish type, DO NOT look at the Mets' remaining schedule--Houston, Philadelphia, Florida, Milwaukee, and the Cubbies take up 22 of the 32 remaining games. OOhhh Shit. Despite what has gone before, the Mets won't win the NL East unless they deserve it, you can be sure of that.

[RANTING EDIT: Dawn Perry is at it again, calling the Mets remaining schedule easier than the Phils but generally using numbers to tell us nothing about anything. Obviously, since I just said it is a difficult remaining schedule, he is wrong wrong wrong. Does he actually have his robot look at the quality of teams the Mets are playing and/or how they've fared against them? Plug this into your Texas Instruments 4000 you dope: Houston, Philadelphia, Florida, Milwaukee, and the Cubbies. Perhaps Dayn was driven to distraction by all the Reyes' currently on the Mets roster. He is not worth my trouble, or links to other times I have slagged him (try Dayn's a Dope as a label). I will never ever never be convinced he knows jack shit about baseball. On his better days, he brings us a "perspective" informed by the worst of stats tunnel vision. Of course he is brought to you by Faux Network, destroying the MLB one game at a time]

To make it into the land of Dane Cook and Joe Buck, the Mets will have to overcome more than the schedule. The Mets have severe pitching problems that have been hidden by the team's recent spate of games against hopeless clubs. If you're keeping score: John Maine is hurting. Countrytime is gone. And Dirty is doubtful. That is some heavy shit folks. I got no answers.

In addition, now that the Mets brass finally discovered young players, the Mets have to do some juggling. J-Man may earn his stripes integrating a slew of potentially productive players into the outfield and second base slots, because with the return of several regulars--none of them functioning relievers mind you--the Mets have a so-called "good problem." The Mets have comically postponed Luis Castillo's welcome home party for a while now, (they've done everything but hide his cleats) league rules may force them to give Luis a place at the pre-game buffet. Luckily, none of these guys in the mix, the newbies or the oldbies, have the status to really put up a stink. Outside of Ryan Church, who I hope will be able to find right field, none of them could feel they have rights to certain minutes at certain positions. Still, with all the Murphs, Tatis' and the like have done for this club, they need to get regular playing time.

But if the Mets are still strapping on their cleats come October, you have to ask yourself, IF the offense continues to get it done, and IF the starters continue their reconnaissance, how the hell will this club hold a lead? Aaron Heilman is a nice guy and a decent pitcher, but mainly he is a goat. That is probably never going to change.

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Best answer to this question wins a prize (my affection): For the love of Pete's Dragon, how could Old Duque just now be getting around to having bunion surgery? Was he assigned a role in OPERATION: Luis Castillo Diversion? Did he think they were saying "Funion" "Funion" all this time?


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Ah baseball. How long will you get away with this? I know. Forever.

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While I'm always happy to have my marginal to irrelevant status confirmed, there has to be room for rancorous debate among Mets bloggers and their sharper critics. I respect and am even grateful for the accomplishments of some of the more established blogaratti, but I also love me some critical approaches of those who aren't afraid to toss a few interweb hand grenades once in a while. In fact, I'd be upset if there was no such debate, it's a healthy thing. But keep it civil fellas, or you'll have no energy left to blog this year's collapse!