It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Message (from Madison Avenue): The Mets Care

Sterling Inc. has picked a fine time to be worried about their image!

Like everybody else, I got the email from offering me the opportunity to fill out a survey/Rorschach test. While I have for years set my sights on bringing just a bit more to the Mets blogosphere than William Kristol brings to the editorial page of the New York Times (nothing), here was an actual opportunity to have an impact, to let someone who works for the Mets know how I feel.

It kind of threw me for a loop.

Am I proud to be a Metsfan? That's a little personal. I'm not always proud of the way my team-- or myself-- conduct themselves. Do I identify with any of the potential marketing schemes they have dreamed up? Could I spare the time to bare my tarnished soul to a department probably more interested in knowing if I fancy the new style caps and how much I would be prepared to fork over for them? How do I feel about teal? Do I like procuring a license when I consider seating? What was the point anyway: I imagined some 20-something marketing suit turning to another: "hey bro--Mets fans don't really like orange."

I blog about this stupid team nearly every day, watch nearly every game, and yet how could I explain to the Madison Ave. crowd that I look at my obsession with this team as a terminal illness, especially since they probably already used the epidemiological motto: "NY Mets Baseball fever, Contract it!" or some such thing years ago. I am a Met fan because I have no other choice.

Asked to come up with phrases that best described the Mets organization, I considered the following responses:

"Weakly Whacking Willie"
"Late-inning scrotum scrambling"
"players collecting paychecks"
"eternal damnation"
"not devastated"

Before settling on these:

"terrible bullpen"
"price gouging at Citi"
"great SNY broadcasting team"
"can't afford Citi tickets"

Even though I live in LA and I go to 1-3 games a year at Shea at most, I was still looking out for you local fans, see? I didn't even go 100% negative and gave a shout out to the booth. I represented.

I also slowly realized that this exercise was telling me more about the Mets than it told about me. I saw this question:

People often use different qualities and attributes to describe sports organizations. In your opinion, do the New York Mets embody the following attributes and/or possess each of the following qualities?

Yes, definitely Yes, somewhat No, not really No, not at all
Blue Collar

Now this is interesting. No not the subtle inquiries into my sexuality ("trendy" "urban"-- ok buddy I get it!) or baked good preference ("fresh"). I mean... could a team that seems to want to emulate the Yankees long after that model has proved morally and practically flawed, a team that yanks 10,0000 seat out of its new stadium to ensure that only suits will be able to fill the remaining seats, could a team like this really be toying with "blue collar authenticity" as a marketing gestalt?

To answer the ultimate question, "And finally, in your own words, what does being a Mets fan mean to you? " here's what I put:

"It means that although this team frustrates me and breaks my heart nearly every year, I will never give up on them."

I couldn't really come up with anything more profound than that.


If you made it this far in this post and are not just a spam bot sent from the future to destroy me, you may be wondering: what no comment on last night's DEVASTATING loss to the LAST PLACE Nationals? WTF you may think.

No, I shan't discuss that. Nor shall I opine that Pedro Martinez is done as a starter for a MLB team. And I won't discuss the fact that, forget about a closer, the Mets don't need a closer, or say that there is no godly reason to use Duaner Sanchez, or anyone else in that pen for that matter, in a key situation. Neither will I waste breath discussing how David "I always get a pass" Wright failed miserably when his team needed him the most. The Mets just want my attention. And being the naughty children they are, they will not be getting it.

I will say this. Any reasonable person has to know it's wildcard time. The collapse has us looking at the wrong standings. Can the Mets beat out the Brewers to back into the playoffs? Any truth to the rumor the Crue will hire Willie Randolph?



  • At 6:42 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    I think they got the Mets survey mixed up with their Febreze survey. And I must say, Febreze gets higher points than the Mets on every quality on that scale.

    That WTF lady better hope ARod doesn't read this blog. If he does, you know he will be coming after her.

  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Febreze might be a better product, but I am more loyal to the Mets who don't smell as good.

    Ah I long for the innocent days when one could name a webpage and an entire program "WTF" (found while googling "advertising executive" which there are no good images of) and not even realize it.

    Those days are gone. This team and this country are both sliding into hell.

    A culture where people are so stupid and blithely unconcerned with their own and other's safety they will walk into traffic absorbed with their inane cell phone conversations(seen every day), text message while driving (saw yesterday in traffic) even while driving a TRAIN (read in paper when I got home, could be true).

    A society so racist that they would elect the incompetent fox to take care of the hen house AGAIN, even after all the hens have been impoverished, dishonored, mutilated and killed, and there are only steaming piles of shit left on the floor of a barn, a barn worth next to nothing and now largely in hock to some other farmer.

    These are things that make us turn to baseball to escape, to remind ourselves that America has come up with some winners in the past. But even then, we're cursed with Metsfandom and another bunch of mismanaged rich guys who can't get out of their own way; there is no relief in sight.

    The Mets, like everyone else in this place, could do so much better.

  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    You're right, the mets are smelling pretty bad this week. I have learned that I can actually directly spray my dog with Febreze and it really helps the overall ambience of my home, maybe someone should give a large pumper bottle to Jerry M.

    And re the elections: Take Courage! Don't believe the polls. They are just polling the same, tired old people. It's really going to be different this time.

  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    Meanwhile even as we speak, big oil has triumphed again, over democracy, science and common sense. The weak-kneed dems are feeling forced to go along with the beautifully absurd "drill baby drill" mentality and are themselves offering expanded off-shore drilling as part of an "energy plan." Even if science and economics tell us drilling on the US coast serves no point and has nothing to do with lowering gas prices at all for 15 years, big oil is going to get their way on this one too, even as they continue to gouge americans at the pump.

    Where are all the lifestyle environmentalists on this one? Probably separating their bottles and cans, most of which end up in landfills anyhow. They could force Detroit to market SUVs as green options, but can't prevent this bill? People in this country are "green" when it allows them to smugly broadcast their moral superiority. When there are real, even semi-difficult choices--we're not even talking about wrenching sacrifice-- they fade back into their mall foodcourt idiocy. Later on, people will complain that they were "mislead" like they were "mislead" into Iraq. Uh-huh. That's why conservatives don't take them seriously. Just chant "drill baby drill" and you'll win over this public. This country hasn't done the right thing in almost a decade. That's some shameful shit.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.