It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, May 10, 2010

Blowin' in the Wind--Oliver Perez Defiles Yet Another Major Holiday

Oliver Perez: A pitcher only a mother could love

From walk off to walking the ball park... we knew it was coming and Oliver Perez delivered his normal flummoxing performance--walking everyone he couldn't hit with pitches.  He walked the pitchers, the lead off batters, the bat boys and a few of the cotton candy salesmen in the stands.  The Mets don't play on Christmas or Thanksgiving, but we can be sure that Perez could sour our enjoyment of those holidays too. Fair warning: Easter, Fourth of July are fair game.

The Mets never for a minute deserved to win this game.

The Mets had a chance to score in the first, but strikeout twins Jason Kay and David "Swingsy" Wright flailed and failed against Tim Lincecom. Davey Boy added to the boneheadery in the 9th arguing yet another strikeout and getting his dumbass tossed from the game. Had the Mets managed anything off of Brian Wilson and tied it up, they would have had to stick a pitcher in the field. But the wind can't help ya if you can't put the bat on the ball.
Brian Wilson mocked the Mets in the 8th and 9th. 

Somehow Perez stayed in the game until the 4th inning, though he tried to give up a grand slam and tried to throw the ball into centerfield.  At this point, Oliver calling himself a major league pitcher is as ballsy and obnoxious as fantasizing you're married to David Lee Roth, then suing him for divorce!!  Other happenings of note: Jerry remembered the Mets are paying Raul Valdes so we got to enjoy the fine stylings of the Mexican League Marauder/ the Tabasco Tosser. "Nightly" Nieve showed Jerry that he has to be brought into Monday's game no matter what. Meijia did the lead blowing honors.

**Old News Department
The Atlanta manager who, in my less responsible years, I called Bobby "Sucks" Cox really takes the cake.  It seems old balls and strikes whining, wife-beating Bobby was being honored by some Senator or another (doubtless the same ones who still support segregation and intra-family matrimony) and well, the official Senate bakery fucked up badly.  The picture below tells most of the story, and the story and link was lifted without apology from our friends at Can't Stop the Bleeding:

But allow me to observe that, according to the second rate TV station website of Channel 2 Action News, when a reporter named Scott MacFarlane was asked what happened
MacFarlane said there was open speculation that a Braves-hating baker was responsible. Quite a few Nationals and Phillies fans work there.
My how far the Metropolitans have fallen...even the hicks have forgotten us. They are naming their little hillbilly sons and daughters/wives "Citizen's Bank," I guess.


Don't look now, but Milledge just pulled a Timo. Poor kid just can't catch a break. For some reason, the PNC Park fireworks operator was quick on the draw and confused the Mets ex-savior/villain/trade bait, who heard music and saw fireworks, thought he just jacked a 3 run bomb, but was tagged out lamely between 2nd and 3rd. It was a sign of maturity that Lastings didn't slap fans hands on his way back to the dugout.

Running of the Beltrans?

Saturday marked the 100th game in the past two seasons that Carlos Beltran has missed.  Rumor has it that he'll try and run on Monday, so brace yourselves for some possibly bad news.

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  • At 4:50 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Lots of interesting and wacky stuff there, man - thanks! At a minimum, with a man on 2nd and nobody out, the Mets should have bunted Bay over in the 9th and brought him home on a sac fly or ball hit to the right side to tie the game up and go from there, but they didn't want to play it safe. All-in-all, they've played fairly well the last 3 weeks or so, although there is always some first and second-guessing to be done. Damn - they are running Nieve out every day. He's actually quite good, but not anymore, with all the overuse. And what the hell is KFC Jr. still doing there? Same goes for a'costa us the game. Were you all down there in Santa Monica watching today? If so, say hi to our old buddy Mr. Keyser for me. I haven't seen him over here or in the Bleachers for a while. You are welcomed over there, too!

  • At 5:30 PM, Anonymous =( Met fan =( said…

    It's at the point where I actually enjoy watching Perez sh*t the bed now. It's like watching a gruesome car crash. As I sat in the 40 degree weather in my outlandishly overpriced seat at Citi Field today, I swear to you I wanted nothing more than for that grand slam to happen. I find myself hoping Perez doesn't make it out of the 1st inning every time. This team really knows how to bring out the sadist in ya.

  • At 10:45 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    thanks for your comments! my humble blog has been forgotten by many, but I still say my commentators are pound for pound the best in the business.

    Cver, I like KFC Jr. The whole Nieve thing is baffling: i wish a team spokesman or Sterling chuckle head could just give us the legitimate reason for what seems to the uninformed bystander like gross overuse. There must be a rationale. But this team has no spokesman since its GM is not allowed to speak in public. They have played well, unless you count the high paid stars, and I think the slow adjustment of our expectations (we are almost in "meaningful games" territory I think) will pay off for our emotional well being.

    =(metfan has cultivated the exact correct attitude. Enlightened Nihilism. I could never willingly attend a game I knew Oliver would be appearing in. I'm not that strong.

  • At 7:04 AM, Anonymous =( Met fan =( said…

    If not the best in the business, certainly the most victimized, anyway. I also don't know how much longer I can stomach Frenchy for either. He, Castillo/Cora, KFC jr, and the pitcher spot are automatic outs every single time. If it weren't for Barajas (who struts to the plate to 2Pac & Dr. Dre's 'California Love', btw) this team woul be like, 3-28 right now. And don't look now, but John Maine is pitching against the Natinals who are throwing the immortal Luis Atilano tonight. Sounds like a 2 hit shutout is on tap...

  • At 3:48 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    For the record, when I say KFC Jr., I mean Gary Matthews Jr. Do you really like him, IMFM?

  • At 4:23 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    I like KFC the nickname no the "player." I also like my own: "Dishonorable Discharge."

    I'm giving Frenchy more time than most, just because I realize there are so many problems with this club, and also I like to think that people can improve. And he is really really goofy. Him and his stupid teeth.

    Now to watch the sinking of the Maine!


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