It's Tool Time Again: Steve Phillips Provides Some Levity as Mets fans Stare into the Abyss; Hundley Name Back in the News

Above, a gallery of people Steve Phillips has fucked.

Looking for a way to avoid thinking about the World Series that could transform the Mets' 2009 season into arguably the worst in club history? Mr. Steve Phillips, prize tool, reporting for duty.

As Met general manager and member of the ESPN idiocracy, Steve always liked tools in his players; even more so he likes being a tool, and uses his tool outside his marriage with gals who work for him every chance he gets. The only question remaining for historians to sort out was which institution he had done more damage to, the NY Metropolitans or marriage, particularly his own. While Mo Vaughn is undoubtedly still hitting buffets and strip clubs across the nation on the Mets' dime, it looks like the balance has finally shifted in favor of the latter.

The New York Post's fine, Pulitzer-level coverage of this new low, including letters from the mistress, statements from Phillips' son and wife, details how Phillips' affair with 22-year-old production assistant Todd, er, Brooke Hundley went quickly downhill and started to take a toll in terms of the Phillips families' social life, social internet networking, and landscaping. It sounds like Phillips' wife is getting the house and suing for divorce and one can only wish her well. We continue to scratch our heads that such an incompetent and useless bag of human shit could manage to become the GM of a major league baseball team and later, be paid for his commentary on our national past time. Do we really want the Wilpons to choose a new GM/manager?