It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Monday, October 12, 2009

Metsfans, Try Not to Use the Hot Stove To Burn Your Eyes Out
Gather round the The Mets Hotstove, times are tough!

Watching the Sawx meltdown in the 9th yesterday with their season on the line, although the incompetents at TBS couldn't get the in-screen score graphic right (the score at one point had it 7-7, then scrolled around until it finally rested at the correct score--TBS knows drama), was still educational.

Papelbon blew it right out his ass. Right there in Fenway, in front of plenty of pink-faced partisans. There are quite a few Mets fans that wish the Mets were run more like the Red Sox. I think I could be put in that category. But even the best organizations loose sometimes. Which makes the mountain the Mets have to climb in the next few years/decades seem that much more imposing. Cause they are terrible, Oakland Raiders terrible. Short sentences; the only way back into the Metsblogosphere.
Red Sawx WAR pie
Mets WAR pie

In case you haven't heard, the Mets had a disastrous off-season last year. Since the brass won't admit to doing anything wrong during the injury plagued season, let's all agree that management's first boner of the 2009 season occurred before the first ticket gauged fanny was in the seats at Tax Payer's Park. The franchise's mistakes in something of a rank order, are probably the following:

1. Retaining Omar Minaya as GM
2. Not firing Jerry Manuel
3. Signing Oliver Perez
4. Signing "K-Rod"
5. Trading for J.J. Putz
6. Accepting the status quo in terms of their medical organization

Note that 5 of the 6 are still in full effect. So with that in mind, we poor Mets fans can be forgiven if we hesitate to get excited about this year's hot stove, seeing as the idiots are still running the asylum.

I now wade into the coming debacle that will be known to historians as "Hotstove 2010." To be clear, I am not relying upon pure baseball logic to make my "decisions" about what this sad bunch of clowns should or should not do. In many ways, until regime change comes, we are beyond sound baseball decisions, so to pretend that this sort of logic will enter in to the picture is delusional. So come with me, and adjust your reality in order to weigh the attractiveness of potential Mets' for next season based on your gut, like Willie would. The time to seriously revamp this team was after the last two catastrophes. Now, we are stuck waiting to see which of the commodities under the Mets control can still play after recovery from surgery. In addition, we are stuck with the knowledge, the near certainty that this management team has no idea what they are doing. If I'm going to hold my nose and root for this bunch of losers, well, I am going to make some demands. In the meantime, lets get the hate-train started. I do not want:

Matt Holliday DoNotWant
Is it fair to rate Holliday based on his Metsian blunder in the pivotal game against the Dodgers? No, not really. But postseason exploits SEEM to have an influence on off season contract negotiations (see Beltran, Carlos)--they weigh heavy in check-signers' memories. But I don't want Holiday for reasons that extend beyond his defensive prowess. He is a radical religious nutcase. Sure, everyone points to the sky to give god his rightful glory over a rbi single these days. (Jesus didn't come to judge, Matt, but even he is pissed you couldn't catch a routine flyball.) You can pick a reason to be queasy about signing Holliday to any length of contract: he's old, his stats are an artifact of spending the majority of his career in Coors' mile high environment (the splits seem to support this), the outrageous muscles he packed on raising roid rumors, etc. I just don't like him. I worry about the impact he'd have on the smile of the Mets' gritty franchise player, Jeff Francouer.

Dan Uggla DNW

The Mets want to try to avoid acquiring players that would make a significant contribution to their on-field humiliation. Over time, if the Mets some getting guys that tend to be boneheads (Pagan), suck out loud (Heilman), etc. the theory goes, perhaps their play will improve. Now that's probably not true either, but I hate all ex-Marlins. Pass on this clown.
actual closeup of Uggla's hands

To be continued...

The Sky is Falling

What else could go wrong? SNY may have to pay Keith Hernandez a whole lot more cash to associate himself with these losers. SNY by letting him get away will be making a big mistake, since this would severely erode the only decent programing they can offer.

Mex doesn't need baseball:
"I didn't watch baseball for five years, didn't watch until the Sosa-McGwire thing," he said. "Then I started watching a little bit. Not an All-Star Game, a World Series, nothing. And I did not miss it. And I honestly feel when I retire doing this, whenever that is, I will not watch a baseball game again."



  • At 3:47 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Nice job, IMFM! From that list, the only one I'd still do over again would be signing K-ROD, although he very well could be injured. Putz obviously was, the medical and training staff are a joke, as are Omar, Ollie and Jerry (to a lesser extent). It would be a shame to lose Keith, but I do remember hearing him say "Dear Lord" quite a bit this season (and sometimes during the commercial breaks, when MLB.TV would still have the "mike on"). And of course, as a tribute to our "Dodgers", we rolled over 5 out of 6 to them, to clinch their playoff berth for them, besides building them a "home away from home".

  • At 10:34 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    let's go Dodgers/Angels!!!!

    for the love of all that is holy.

    You are right--maybe the Dodgies will give Freddy a ring or Ryan Church or Reed a playoff share.

  • At 5:30 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    I do not blame the doctors, they know what they are doing. this front office put injured players on the field on purpose, according to some anonymous mets. anonymous mets: is that redundant? Anyway, I would sign Uggla. then the mets would have the worst fielding infield in the history of baseball. that is something. I do not care for holliday either. not a baseball player. I like baseball players. that is why I stopped watching this team in july. NOticfe hwo I only capitalize references to me. I have tried very hard not to capitalize the "m" in mets this year. I am sure I have slipped from time to time. But I swear to try not to capitalize the "m" in mets until foobar is fired.

  • At 6:03 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    If you could ask them, who do you suppose is the prouder grandfather, Conrad Hilton or Harry Caray?

  • At 6:47 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Let's go ask them. There is nothing left to live for anyway. I was reading that the Mets may bring Acta in as 3B coach. Tell me it's a cruel joke and nothing more.

  • At 10:03 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    it is looking like this will be the worst season ever. or close. a spanks-philmes world series is the single thing that could make this year worse. and here it is. of course acta back would be helpful too.

    ny may be the most jilted, but they could be forgiven for exiling the mets to jersey.

  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous jdon said…

    Did you ever see the movie "The Arrival?" Do you remember that globe gizmo they would throw into a house and then close the door? It would shred or suck up every single thing in the house? Well, I would like to throw one of those into the mets locker room, with the front office present, of course, and shut the door.

  • At 8:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.