Tranny's Blow Assures Mets Aren't All Wet

The separation of Church and plate was only temporary.


As that soaking wet ball glanced off the Satanic glove of Cubs' treacherous first baseman Micah Hoffpauir, can I be forgiven for expecting a hole to open up in the infield and swallow Jose Reyes to keep him from scoring the winning run? The Mets finishing any given game with a higher tally than the opposition has become an outright anomaly. But the playoff-bound Cubs, who had to start their AAA team to let the Mets compete? Very Improbable.

In order to beat the Cubs' practice squad, the Mets were forced to take extreme measures, none more symbolic Ryan Church's home plate dance with catcher Koyie Hill, whose surgically reattached fingers were not flexible enough to get to the Church on time. They had to outlast Pedro Martinez' last rag doll impression. They had to overcome Rincon's ultra-efficient appearance, one pitch, one homerun given up to a rookie. They had to take it to the wire.

The pressure for the fan was much worse than for the players. Remaining calm on my sofa, executing clutch channel switches, typing inanities into my local internet chat, its a lot to ask. This is getting ridiculously stressful. The Brewers knotted up with the useless Pirates till late. Mother Nature getting into the act, raining down postponement pain down on this game, and even threatening to turn the weekend into a two-for-one march of misery for the Mets right to the golf course. Worst of all, even getting by the AAA Cubs tonight and keeping themselves still in the hunt just meant that the oily Fish were on their way to Shea, bent on spoiling. And when its all over, we fans don't get to relax with a steak dinner and a floozy, and check to see if they deposited this week's million dollar check yet.

Keith Hernandez looked right into the camera at game's end, and exclaimed his feeling that the Mets should aim at first in the NL East. With the Mets 1 game behind the Philmes, I suppose that's possible. But it would help if they had Keith Hernandez in their lineup.

These are times of lunacy. And post-victory hope makes one crazy. The Mets will collapse. They are collapsing. The only question is whether they will do it this weekend. Or after accepting a trophy from Bud Selig.