It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Don't touch that dial...

What Jerry sees every night in his nightmares

I predicted the Mets would need 14 runs to win tonight, so by that measure the game was a roaring success. Brian or Brandon or whatever his name is Knight wasn't as bad as I thought he'd be, but when the Mets needed length, he was all width. Hardly gold medal stuff. In other words he wilted and had to be yanked after the 5th, which means send in the clowns.

Before the 4th inning After the 4th inning

And in they came. On Rincon, on Stokes, Heilman&#%!? and Shownblow. On Smith and Pedreadful and Ayala and Blitzer. It was like Jerry was trying to add the ERAs up until he got to 100. Heilman, not the retiring type, turned in the typical shit performance. Injured or not, he sucks, and he keeps getting the ball. Scientists are working on that puzzle (do the beat reporters ever just ask Jerry what the fuck he's doing with Heilman in a baseball game?). Smith earned a nice 2 run hold, but I believe that's when David Wright's ladida throwing error had its impact. Feliciano, as is his custom, had to be removed for his own safety (what is this "hold" stat--bigger bullshit than the "save" stat; relievers must have a powerful union or something).

Honestly the Brewers winning hurt more that the Br*ves 1st inning choke job with Phillie. I don't think the Mets really want to be facing the Cubs in the first round if they get in, but there doesn't look to be any other way. I'm not sure if Jerry Manuel's version of closer by committee, "closer by the shitty" is going to do the trick against any halfway decent team. But then again, I still wonder what happened to that dude with closing experience, Al Reyes. Is Al Reyes locked in a closet in Flushing somewhere? Is not pitching a --any guy--since August 5th really that smart? If he's so bad that he can't get a chance before Heilman, why is he on the roster? Did he win a bet with Jeffy or a radio contest, or is he an actual option out of a pen out of options?

The offense thought 6 runs in the first three innings ought to do it. But then they kept tacking on and it still wasn't enough to make this a smooth game. Beltran homered from every side of the plate except under it, Delgado and Reyes almost made me forget what a choke artist Wright has become, and Daniel Murphy well, he's Daniel Murphy and that's good enough for me. David Wright hasn't even been as clutch as Brian Schneider during this series. I hope its cuz he's ascared of Elijah Dukes or something.

I got it into my head that the only thing the Mets haven't tried (besides giving Reyes and more innings and never ever giving the ball to Heilman) is a bullpen car. Frankly, these guys look tuckered out by the time they get to the mound. That is just too long a run/trot/walk for them, and they're spent by the time they throw their first shitty pitch. So as long as Aaron Heilman isn't allowed to drive the car into the wall, I move that the Wilpons cough it up for a new bullpen car. Hell make it a hybrid or something.

Anyhow it turns out that although there is quite a movement around the more ironic corners of the internet to bring back the bullpen car, there's no good pictures of a Mets bullpen car. So this one of the actual Mets bullpen, pilfered from my own archives, will have to do.

Actually stock footage of Mets 2007 pen, but just imagine Matt Wise pictured where Aaron Sele is now.

Santana goes tonight, and though you'd like to relax, all you can do is expect another helping of fresh hell.

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  • At 4:41 AM, Anonymous BRANDON KNIGHT said…

    IMFM, are you sometimes moonlighting under the name John Harper?

    I don't think there's any solution, other than someone threatening to break Manuel's arm if he ever signals for Heilman again when it even remotely matters.

  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger Jaap said…

    something even more disquieting is to imagine the rosters getting reduced for the postseason to 25.

    even less clowns to choose from.

    I'm going to listen to the Brewers afternoon game just to experience someone else's nightmare for a change.

  • At 10:52 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    I really felt sick last night watching the game. But I had to laugh (bitterly) when there were Mets on base in the top of the 9th, I think, and a 4 run lead, and Ronnie said, "for the Mets to score another run here is CRUCIAL". Fans of most teams would think that was pretty crazy, I imagine.

    One of the problems with the bullpen has got to be the guys are so exhausted. Smith, Feliciano, Ayala, just have been used and used. And now Carlos Beltran is taking potshots at them. Does somebody need to remind him of the score by which we lost the previous night's game? 1-0 ????

    And, IMFM, yes it was disappointing that Brandon Knight (that is a very manly name, by the way) only went 5 innings, but right now I think our rotation should be: Santana, Perez, Pelfrey, Niese, Knight. No more Pedro - there is something wrong with him.

  • At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Abraham said…


    its your keen interest towared game i like it and need to be in connection with.

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  • At 10:57 AM, Anonymous Abraham said…

    yes it was disappointing that Brandon Knight

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  • At 5:27 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    abraham it is rude to come on my blog and solicit jaap with spam. That's what HIS blog is for, you robot bastard.

    25? Ack--how to choose?

    Katherine im off to google Beltran badmouth.

  • At 6:23 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Don't be so mean to poor abraham. He has such a crush on jaap he can't think straight, can't even finish his sentences.

  • At 6:40 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    oh katherine, its your keen interest towared game i like it and need to be in connection with.

  • At 8:11 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    Condoleeza Rice just stated that Y*nkees are becoming "isolated and irrelevent".

    Man, Santana and the Mets offense were mighty fine tonight!

  • At 4:18 AM, Anonymous mbtn01 said…

    Adam West as Batman was way cooler than that drunken British mother-beater they got now. Camon!

  • At 10:24 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…


  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    Jerry is talking about an Errant October - don't touch that dial, indeed.


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.