It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Murphy's Law Trumps Mets Malaise

Thanks to offensive outbursts on the part of the Fish and Reds, the Mets destiny was truly in their own hands tonight. And you know what that means: gut bustin,' no fun, nailbitin', doctor calling, temple pulsing games that go down to the last inning no matter how many runs the Mets manage to put up on the board. You can set your watch to the Mets bullpen failures (they happen between 9-10 pm EST) as long as you can resist smashing that thing to bits in frustration.

Some of the various titles I had for this post--"They're Baaaack: September 2007 Defense Arrives Right on Time," and "First Place Too Fishy for the Mets?"--show clearly that I had packed it in several times. Sure, I'm a bad fan, but these guys deserve me.

Sort of Good Ollie showed up, which was cool but mildly disappointing since Ollie has been known to dominate the fuck out of Hillbilly Kelly and her friends there at Turner.

Unfortunately, the Bad David Wright also showed up, with his patented super shitty fielding. A throwing error in the 2nd, another unrecorded error in the 3rd, then in the 5th, calling Ollie and his Man-Arm off so David could pussythrow it late, loading the bases with no outs for Larry Jones. A couple of Reyes and Church INEXCUSABLE ERRORS later, Wright couldn't catch the fucking ball in the 7th on a terrific throw from Church, so the go ahead run made it to third. This had me saying my rosary and calling fellow members of the "Move David Wright to Second Base where his wee-little arm can handle the distance and his tendancy to field the ball as though he has a cannon when he clearly does not will not hurt the Mets so much Club" and congratulating them on the coming influx of dues paying members that will make our annual BBQ much more of an event.

Then the awesome Daniel Murphy came and saved the day. He's the greatest since Mike Jacobs, who is now dead to me. Really, I'm seriously ready to plug him in at third and move Wright to second. Then we have a super terrific infield for all time, if'n he can field a lick and throw all the way across the diamond. Stokes, Reyes, and the middle of the lineup didn't suck either. (I have to sleep sometime so lets leave it there.)

Some other comments:

Also, (Ch)umpire Ron "Mea" Culpa called a terrible game, causing Booby Cox to soil his Depends undergarments repeatedly. Which was nice.

Somehow, the Mets bullpen did not blow the coin toss against the Brewers, who even as a fan of the Mets who they could possibly deny a playoff spot to, I kind of feel sorry for. I know that wasn't a grammatical sentence, but I had to fit in the joke and the Brewers empathy. And that empathy is soooooo fat!

If I was Jerry and sat my ass there and watched the collapse of 2007, I would have yanked Reyes and Church for their careless out-to-lunch errors. These guys need a message sent and pronto. This is exactly what happened last year. Exactly. I thought you was gansta, Jerry. I thought you was OG.

Poor Figgy. His "gold glove" pals really screwed the pooch for him, as far as another key spot is concerned.

Upon seeing Heilman in Met uniform again, I came up with a slogan for 2009: "The New York Mets: You Won't Believe Your !%$? Eyes!!"

Free Bobby Parnell!

Next year, if Omar stil has a job, I would recommend that he build a quality bullpen. Or, alternatively, build 2 bullpens. If some of these guys have 80+ appearances...and they suck, well that's a problem eh? So have an extra bullpen ready for the annual September to Remember. Maybe you can even carry Al Reyes for a couple weeks in there too.



  • At 5:15 AM, Anonymous cverez said…

    Not only do the Mets need an extra bullpen, but we need an extra blog dedicated to keeping Aaron Heilman off the mound until he's fixed, which certainly won't be this calendar year. Someone stated (sorry; i can't remember who) last night that Heilman did well last night just so he will be trusted in the postseason and screw us there. Somehow, Jerry put the pieces of the puzzle together, but putting in P**pyface has to go in the "more lucky than good" category. How dare that gangsta risk these lifelong Metsfan's dreams of another day, let alone a championship at the House That Moses Built with such a junk-bond style move!!! Didn't Jerry hear there is a temporary ban on short selling???

  • At 5:26 AM, Blogger katherine said…

    Cverez - there must be some "stuff-related" reason they keep trotting Aaron out there, but I agree it is pretty inexplicable. I do have faith in Jerry, though.

    IMFM, I think actually, Ollie was 100% GOOD Ollie last night. AMAZING that he kept his cool despite the umpire's tiny strike zone. Several times I thought to myself, OK, This is where he loses it! But he didn't. The other pitcher cracked under the pressure.

    Poor David Wright. You are so mean. Usually I shake my head over the infatuated Man-Crushes that male bloggers, fans, announcers, and random passers-by have for him. But you are the exception. Even Keith Hernandez is not immune. Two nights ago, when David had a petulant helmet smashing temper tantrum after an at bat, Keith said something like "Nothing wrong with that, its good to show emotion". Right, nothing wrong with that, unless you are Jose Reyes, in which case you will be castigated on air for being a baby. To be fair, Keith has really changed his tune since that episode and seems more approving of Jose, whom I love, and will stick up for, no matter how badly he behaves.

    Now, you be as mean as you like to Bobby Cox. He deserves every bit of it.

  • At 6:36 AM, Anonymous cverez said…

    Katherine, are you saying that you have faith in Jerry, as long as he is on the right stuff? If that's the case, get him his proper meds. The human factor might also be at play. I'll admit, for anyone it would be hard to not want to reward the ethic of hard work or to look that P**pyface in the eyes and say "No mas".

    As far as David Wright is concerned, I just have to take the good with the bad. How can I get too worked up about a guy who does what he does, even when he doesn't do it. Remember though that Wright is throwing his helmet when he's frustrated with himself, while the Reyes incident, unless I'm mistaken, was when Jerry pulled Reyes in his first Met managerial moment, as a medical precaution, in what was at least perceived as showing up the new Met manager.

    To get back to my general theme of late, the saga of the previous 1st round pick from Notre Dame and Mets mismanaging of his apparent talents continues and both he and the team to which he has the most seniority are paying the price.

  • At 6:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


  • At 12:17 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    F*CK THAT SH*T, ANONYMOUS! F*CK THAT IN THE *** *&^%$!!@@%%%!

    It was sly of JMAN to hint that P**pyface is pitching hurt, but we all know better and want his duties to be relegated to washing out the bullpen latrine. I don't even want him near the pink snack backpack!


    I will never give Wright a pass. No siree. It's what makes me special. That and a very low IQ. He wants to be the man? Well be the Man David, be the man!! Otherwise, step aside and let Beltran and Murphy take over!


    Katherine is wright, er, right--if Jose, who does a lot for this team despite my snipes, thought about doing the things that David has done lately (and I'd include not running out that ground out last night)they would add a special section to the Post just to give it extra in-depth treatment! Although I agree that Jreyes deserved a spanking for showing up JMan the instant Jerry assumed control. That was unforgivable too. It's all unforgivable.

    S***S*** bang bang!!

    Cver has supplied us with a theory to predict when P**pyface parking pl*ce will be successful: When it serves the interest of getting him more time on the mound in an even worse time to have him on the mound, he will excel. A kidnapping must be arranged!

    L*ts GO m&$*#^%@?!!! M*TS!!

  • At 1:22 PM, Blogger katherine said…

    Jose's tantrum on Jerry's first day managing is not the one I was referring to. It was the second one, a few days later, when Jose made a bad throw to Carlos at first base on a crucial play and Carlos couldn't scoop it. Jose was mad at himself and threw his glove down. Keith got very annoyed and said the Mets should stop babying Jose. But Jose was just mad at himself for making a bad throw! Later they almost came to blows on the team plane over that. Since then Keith has been Jose's number one fan.

  • At 10:44 PM, Anonymous cverez said…

    Oh right, Katherine - I remember that - long summer. Mea Culpa (oh, he was the ump the other night, wasn't he - the umps tonight didn't do much better, but "at least" they gave the Braves back the run that they took from them on one bad call with another bad call against the Mets. Too bad, the awful umping of the Phils/Marlins game couldn't even things out or we might still be in 1st).


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