Murphy's Law Trumps Mets Malaise

Thanks to offensive outbursts on the part of the Fish and Reds, the Mets destiny was truly in their own hands tonight. And you know what that means: gut bustin,' no fun, nailbitin', doctor calling, temple pulsing games that go down to the last inning no matter how many runs the Mets manage to put up on the board. You can set your watch to the Mets bullpen failures (they happen between 9-10 pm EST) as long as you can resist smashing that thing to bits in frustration.

Some of the various titles I had for this post--"They're Baaaack: September 2007 Defense Arrives Right on Time," and "First Place Too Fishy for the Mets?"--show clearly that I had packed it in several times. Sure, I'm a bad fan, but these guys deserve me.

Sort of Good Ollie showed up, which was cool but mildly disappointing since Ollie has been known to dominate the fuck out of Hillbilly Kelly and her friends there at Turner.

Unfortunately, the Bad David Wright also showed up, with his patented super shitty fielding. A throwing error in the 2nd, another unrecorded error in the 3rd, then in the 5th, calling Ollie and his Man-Arm off so David could pussythrow it late, loading the bases with no outs for Larry Jones. A couple of Reyes and Church INEXCUSABLE ERRORS later, Wright couldn't catch the fucking ball in the 7th on a terrific throw from Church, so the go ahead run made it to third. This had me saying my rosary and calling fellow members of the "Move David Wright to Second Base where his wee-little arm can handle the distance and his tendancy to field the ball as though he has a cannon when he clearly does not will not hurt the Mets so much Club" and congratulating them on the coming influx of dues paying members that will make our annual BBQ much more of an event.

Then the awesome Daniel Murphy came and saved the day. He's the greatest since Mike Jacobs, who is now dead to me. Really, I'm seriously ready to plug him in at third and move Wright to second. Then we have a super terrific infield for all time, if'n he can field a lick and throw all the way across the diamond. Stokes, Reyes, and the middle of the lineup didn't suck either. (I have to sleep sometime so lets leave it there.)

Some other comments:

Also, (Ch)umpire Ron "Mea" Culpa called a terrible game, causing Booby Cox to soil his Depends undergarments repeatedly. Which was nice.

Somehow, the Mets bullpen did not blow the coin toss against the Brewers, who even as a fan of the Mets who they could possibly deny a playoff spot to, I kind of feel sorry for. I know that wasn't a grammatical sentence, but I had to fit in the joke and the Brewers empathy. And that empathy is soooooo fat!

If I was Jerry and sat my ass there and watched the collapse of 2007, I would have yanked Reyes and Church for their careless out-to-lunch errors. These guys need a message sent and pronto. This is exactly what happened last year. Exactly. I thought you was gansta, Jerry. I thought you was OG.

Poor Figgy. His "gold glove" pals really screwed the pooch for him, as far as another key spot is concerned.

Upon seeing Heilman in Met uniform again, I came up with a slogan for 2009: "The New York Mets: You Won't Believe Your !%$? Eyes!!"

Free Bobby Parnell!

Next year, if Omar stil has a job, I would recommend that he build a quality bullpen. Or, alternatively, build 2 bullpens. If some of these guys have 80+ appearances...and they suck, well that's a problem eh? So have an extra bullpen ready for the annual September to Remember. Maybe you can even carry Al Reyes for a couple weeks in there too.