Endy and Ollie Lead to Yanks Folly *

I sure am disappointed by the Yankees decision not to pitch Wang this Sunday. Partially because it means the Mets will have to face an unknown, unheralded pitcher. But mostly because I went through the trouble to kick it Chinese with my trash talk, tailoring a message especially for the Yankers' Taiwanese Tosser.

你的隊伍將會慘敗!

你們準備輸吧!

So there!

Oh well. If this thus far fantasy weekend continues to go as I have planned it, then I'll be sitting in a hottub by Sunday night with Keith Hernandez and some thick-skinned female trainers/super models, smoking cigars, and listening to Darryl Strawberry stories.

So to recap, deprived by Mother Nature of the natural pleasure of having the Red Sox simultaneously pummel the Br*ves, we had to settle for more Endy heroics. Ollie continues to develop, by golly, and Carlos Gomez is bringing a certain electricity to the error, er, air at Shea. So far, all readings of the Bronx Barameters point to the coming Mets shitstorm--a first place cushion in the NL East, and the continued flight to MLB irrelevance for the Yankees. Fairweather fans, the great undecided voter of baseball fandom, well, they need to start trading in their Yankee caps for Joe Smith jerseys because you don't want to be on the wrong side of a trend, right? I know the series ain't over yet, but one team can be the Toast of Gotham (!), and the other has to be Gotham's toast. It's only fair.


Well, by now we all know Lasting Milledge knows your place, especially if you be a ho or a b****.

Would that Mets management had started their campaign against bad music just one season earlier, "Our team. Our time" would just be a memory of a lousy two sentence team slogan, not a horrific aural nightmare. "We disapprove of the content, language and message of this recording, which does not represent the views of the New York Mets," indeed.

While Ron Darling is most likely not being fired as an "internet rumor" had it, let's take a moment to rejoice in the actual memory of Fran Healy and his campaign against the English language (not to be confused with John Rocker's campaign for the English language) being retired. Many point to the signing of Pedro Martinez as the key to the Mets renaissance, but we all know putting the Fran out to pasture was really how the Mets product turned the corner. I can't help gushing like a fanboy everytime I think of the new broadcast team.

Now to get ready for today's game, broadcast by Fux Network, which has quitely done for professional sports what it has done for political discourse in America. How long they can cover their crimes with broadcasts of the Simpsons and Family Guy is anyone's guess, but at least Fux has finally realized that the West coast deserves its Mets-Yanks series too, and will supposedly be throwing me a bone here in LA this afternoon. I have to go watch the Sawx pound on Atlanta into second place now (Boston up 3-0 in the bottom of the second--save some runs for the second game boys!).

Let's Go Mets!



*title courtesy of metsfan Cver, issued from undisclosed European location