It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Off-Day Time Waster: They're Bald, Jerry!

Can you pick out the Met?

As DAY THREE OF THE JOSE REYES HAIRCUT HOLDOUT begins, John Delcos asks a great off day question: what do you like the most about the 2007 Mets? I would separate my answers into two categories.

I like most about this team:

1. Character and just a bit of cockeyness, exhibited in a nutshell by the "Dugout Top-Step Shuffle," orchestrated by Jose Reyes, MC.
2. The emergence and transition from "potential " to "promising" and almost "performing" (the three stages of pitching prospects) of some good young pitching; Maine, Ollie, Smith, and Sosa to some extent. As I have long maintained, we Mets fans need a cure for the Doc Gooden hangover, and it wasn't Generation K.
3. The multitude of ways they can win: by blowout, come from behind, small ball, long ball, etc.
4. Same stuff I liked about last year's team. Likable personel, nice offensive balance, just enough pitching, etc. This truly is a different era, and if you don't believe me, read this sentence: "My favorite team, the NY Mets, rely on Vance Wilson, Jeff Duncan, Jason Phillips, Timo Perez, Jeromy Burnitz, Jae Seo, David Weathers, Ty Wiggington, Danny Garcia, Tsuyoshi Shinjo and Joe McEeewing." Not too easy, huh?

I am most thankfully surprised by:
1. Jose Reyes, RBI machine
2. Shawn Green at the plate
3. Glavine's continued rennaisance
4. Countrytime looking sharp, as compared to last year's start



Looking around the Mets blogs, I wonder, how could we as a group fail to use the Seinfeld tag line "She's bald, Jerry" in any of our lame attempts to write headlines? Actually according to the script, I don't see where George actually said this line. Hmm. Well, I think the 6 tool talents of Carlos Beltran, the "Barber of Sheaville" (oddly the Mets chose not to use the clubhouse barber service in Florida) probably had something to do with the advent of "Team Woodward," but I wonder what might have been if the team decided to follow Jose Valentin's lead and all grown manly mustaches, or perhaps followed Reyes' lead and all grown spiky little dreads?

Of course, I haven't seen anyone bring up the last great Mets Barber related news, the tremendous Rey Sanchez Clubhouse Barber scandal, Hairgate 2003, where the clubhouse cancer received an in game haircut from Mr. Meltdown himself, Armando Benitez! (Jaap's term: Armandogeddon!) What a neat historical package!

I guess we should just be thankful that David decided on the bald thing, and not one of his other fashion statements involving headdresses.


In light of the fact that I am predicting a Mets-Sox 1986 redux this October, I think it is appropriate that I inform you of the rebirth of Misery Loves Company, the witty Mets-Sox bloggers who are now posting with a vengeance at a web address near you. With this link and endorsement, I can insure that they too get 100s of visitors inquiring about whether David Wright is married. He is not married, people.

PS. for some mascot related historical fun, check out Mr. Mets' big Piazza-era announcement.


Shawn Green, No.1!

Finally, casting around for ways to use this image, I decided that if Jose Reyes is indeed Superboy, then Shawn Green is the Bizzaro Jose Reyes. Just compare the two, each sucessfully contributing to the Mets offense in their own ways:


Not Bald
spark plug
excellent fielder
smiles a lot
plays everyday


not exciting
fire plug
can't field for shit
frowns a lot
does not play on certain holidays


My Tribute to Alyssa Milano continues...

Here she is with Met superstar and fan favorite, Kaz Matsui. And a mouthful of what appear to be braces, which just goes to show you she is just like us! And who said Kaz could never go to his left? Note the strange objects in Kaz's hands, wooden clubs that he would never actually use after opening day!

Alyssa, if you're out there, keep your eyes on the prize, baby!!

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  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger Jaap said…

    Now you've prompted me, mate.

    Firstly, no matter how many props you wish to give to celebrity v no man possibilities, it's clear by the comments on her blog that A Milano does not write it. A real blog like Foot in the mouth Schilling's would have real comments not gushing bromides and there'd be plenty o references to other intimate blablablas (maybe they're filtered out but still, acknowledgement would legitimise the blog...)
    Secondly, Jose Reyes is my new hero because he's not into this kinky group head shaving thing.

    Would you be?

    It's not like the guy is hitting .202.

    He's the cog in the machine. If he wants his head shaven or turned to jerry curls who cares?

    Keep hitting, keep stealing, keep scoring runs, driving them in when you can from the top of the order, etc.

    I've got no problem with this guy.

    A few years ago he couldn't walk without pulling his fucking hamstrings.

    Lastly, naked George shower scenes are officially taboo in my book.

    Not unless there's a flame thrower on the other end. After all - it was for the Yankees, not the Mets, that he "laboured"

  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    that's true Jaap, but i see Seinfeld as a "Mets Show" in general, and as making fun of the conceits of Steinbrenneristan. I don't think Jerry ever shows his face in the Bronx but i could be wrong.

    Jose Reyes doesn't want his hair cut, then i agree that is the way it has to be. He is this team right now. One can only hope the shaving stopped with the heads.

    Yes, I am baiting the Milano crowd, but if she can answer my questions correctly, I'll accept her. One of the wonderful things about the wide world of webs is that sarcasm can be taken literally. Many people think this is a drawback, but I say that's where the fun begins in this fairyland of irony! In the end, I guess Im a softy for any former teen celebrity who can write things that speak directly to me like this:

    "My social life consists of going to games and through that, I have met a few really great men.

    We are all looking for our “Happily Ever After.” I am still looking for mine. Along my journey, I have been blessed to cross paths with some of my heroes. These experiences have taught me many things not only about the game I love, but also about the game of love.

    I have no regrets.

    So to all you lazy bloggers and sports journalists who chose to look for the easy target -– I am here for you."

    Lazy bloggers? She's looking at me, man! She's looking at me!

  • At 8:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger Whitney said…

    Many thanks for the mention -- if your prediction comes true, it'll be one for the ages over in our little corner of the blogosphere.

    Can't believe some of the commentor backlash you took over at Alyssa's blog when you posed the questions. You could have been much harsher.


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