It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Delga-Does it!!

Ct. Red Ass, We have a job for you!

Get-away day featured Willie trotting out a line-up as lazy as Aramis Ramirez. Surprised not to see Joe McEeewing in left field, or Greg McMicheal somewhere, I settled down into my couch thrilled at the prospects of an afternoon of watching Julio Franco, the at-bat black hole, stubbornly swinging his two-by-four bat, like a senior unwilling to give up their driver's licence. Until the ninth, the only thrill was the spectacle of David Newhan collecting his forth hit of the season (!)

But then after an unexpected Vargas meltdown, the Mets were looking down the barrel of a B-team loss, and I started to question the wisdom of Willie subbing out the entire team. Newhan and Carlos Gomez, who reminds me of Carlos Beltran, showed some 9th inning poise and started the ball rolling, and next thing you know, Big Carlos is up at bat in another bases loaded walk off situation. Yippee and the Br*ves lost too. I am really hoping all this walking off gets Delgado's jets running, because I really like him and want to have some nice memories of his Met tenure. All and all, a nice setting for the Subway series if you ask me. The Bronx Barometers will give us a sense of where this season is heading...a sweep would solidify the slight lead in the NL east, and demoralize the spankies a bit more. I'm just saying.


Lastings, just chillin'

Now I'm a four tool blogger--overactive sense of irony, questionable sense of public responsibility, poor time-management, combined with delusions of authority. But I refuse to give the latest Lastings Milledge "controversy" more than a mini-paragraph of my time. Gary, who I love normally, effectively pilled on Lastings during the 4th inning, calling rap-gate another "mis-step." It is a shame to watch this kid have his Met career constantly derailed by silly bullshit, and at times thinly-veiled racism, while sex offenders like Ramon Castro and Mike deFelice pass under the radar. The media links off the season crap with Lastings career progress, but Milledge wasn't passed by by Gomez, he's injured, on the shelf and you "can't make the big club in the tub" as Ron Darling says. Anyhow, Milledge said the track, a bonus cut on the cd, wasn't supposed to be released publicly. I care about that as much as I care about Puff Daddy. Hopefully Omar and the Mets won't be foolish, and let this talent slip away without giving him a chance to patrol the Met outfield for a few years. Scott K*zmir's have been traded for less.

Looking at the offerings in front of the world wide leader iron pay curtain, there are a few articles of note for metsies lately. First, Jerry Crasnick says we can pat ourselves on the back again for not falling for the Barry Zito pyramid scheme. Barry, or as Crasnick calls him, "a budding Jamie Moyer," is sporting a 3-4 record and a 4.29 ERA . Meanwhile, Jason Schmidt of the probable playoff opponent Dodgers is suffering from shoulder bursitis that could spell trouble for LA during the season or in a three game series. It looks more and more like Omar is headed in the right direction--big ticket free agent starting pitchers are mostly folly.

The tests are in, and Jayson Stark announces that Jose Reyes is the best fucking shortstop in the world. Or something like that.

Finally, it looks like the timid media has finally found their Yankee fallguy--someone to criticize Clemens "family plan"--and his name is Kyle Farnsworth. Patrolling the borderlines of incoherence, Scoop Jackson calls out the sporting media for not recognizing Roger Clemens is either "without question the most selfish athlete of our time" or "the most celebrated pimp in professional sports." Of course, Scoop's thunder is reserved for the faceless media, a nice safe target for a tough guy like him. Roger? Well Scoop still falls backwards to show his love:

Now, I like Roger Clemens, a lot. Always have. I'll root for him whenever he's on the mound, as long as he's not facing Pedro Martinez. I respect his "gangster." It's not him I have the issue with. If he can continue getting away with what he's doing, more power to him. Play the game, don't ever let it play you. Ball Player Rule No. 4080.


He's a self-absorbed, beyond-arrogant, bigger-than-the-game, I-have-no-respect-or-honor-for-the-concept-of-team, I-only-pitch-when-I-feel-like-it, any-team-should-feel-blessed-to-have-me, Randy-Johnson-will-never-be-on-my-level, the-world-revolves-around-me, kiss-the-ground-I walk-on, worship-who-I-am-because-I-am-the-me-myself-and-I-in-MLB pimp.

But again, my problem is not with Roger, it's with us.

Hey pal, don't blame us. Ok, in case you need to explain this to your kid: Scoop doesn't have a problem with arrogant, disrespectful, self-absorbed fuckfaces, its the media that doesn't write about the fuckfaces that really steams him. Wait, is the term "pimp" good, or bad now?

Why are media types so afraid of Clemens? Maybe they worry he'll think they're the ball? I could kick his ass, so I'm not worried personally, unless he has a ball or splintered bat in his hands. Whatever the case, Clemens definitely puts the "me" in asshole, and Espn still has no creditibility whatsoever. Most likely history will show that the parallels between Barry Bonds and Clemens, talented overreachers who could have rested on their laurels but sucumbed to the temptations of performance enhancement, are unmistakable. But the boys in the pressroom don't want to jeopardize their tee-times with their athlete buddies to let the Clemens cat out of the bag. The way I see it, that's their problem not ours, since they are the ones eroding their own creditability. We know many of you are glorified "Entertainment Tonight" reporters. Just don't bother us with your phony sanctimony. The media still thinks they have to tell us that Clemens is a 'roided out freak whose continued presence is bad for baseball, that's probably the sadest part.

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.