It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

The Br*ves are T.O.A.S.T.

Mets win, 8-7 in 14 innings.


Whats the mood like around here?

Ever since the MLB moved these bastards into our division, there has been a dark cloud over Shea, as the Beloveds were routinely out-played, out-managed out everythinged by the hated satan-spawn Br*ves organization. Last year, I called for divisional realignment to solve this problem. Well last night, the tide finally turned, and I now feel it is time to boldly state that we have seen the last of this Br*ve dynasty. That's right, although it may be poor timing to say such things on the eve of a Hudson-Zambunny match up, I am here to tell you that I saw Booby Cox in the dugout mutering and frustrated with my own two eyes. He knows it. He can read the wrighting on the wall. He knows his HatedHicks, AtlantaAsses, Chopping Chuckleheads, his Turner Twits, are about to take a back seat to their Metropolitain Masters in the National League East. And maybe for quite a while.

And last night Cox tried all his old tricks. He tried the old trick of throwing some dude last seen pitching in New Zealand or something, and sure, this baffled the Mets for a while, but there is no stopping this train. He tried having his guys hit a homerun off our closer with some Betemit bullshit. Cox probably considered having Bong go in to pitch an inning. It's a game the Br*ves would have won in the past.

Well Booby, your rockin' retard is in Baltimore, babysitting Kris Benson. Your leadoff hitter is sucking in LA. Brian "*&^$+$#?!" Jordan is somehow hitting .310 and it ain't helping. Your centerfielder still can't spell his own name. Your #1 hick says things like this:"I'm really at a loss for words," Chipper Jones said. "I think we're all just kind of sitting here in shock, wondering how this keeps happening night after night." Even Satan himself won't be able to pitch forever.Our wonderboy just beat you in the 14th inning, on a ground rule double after a passed ball allowed our free agent bust to get into scoring position. Who's got the luck now?

Your team is T.O.A.S.T. "Turner's Ol'boys Are Stuck in Third"

I'm sorry Bobby, but you never really won much of anything, and now the ride is over.

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.