It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, April 20, 2006

The end of the world as we know it

The predictable reaction to today's indignity in Mets Nation is summed up thusly: the sky is falling; dammit.

But seriously folks, there is evidence that this team still has some management issues to work out. This evidence is named Jose Valentin. Add Chavez and Valentin to the canyon of scrub heroes: Ice, Aye!bar, Stuper Joe...No amount of Julio Franco diplomacy is gonna change this. You give scrubs a tryout in spring training, you're not supposed to take them north (or give them guaranteed contracts for that matter). How do these guys keep popping up?

Plus, will the last person in the world please tap Omar on the shoulder and mention that Zambonehead will never be a sucessful starter for the Mets. In it is a sad fact that none of us have owned up to, and i am still trying to admit: The Br*ves rotation staff is still superior to the Mets. There, i said it. Shmutz + Hudson are greater than the sum of Pedro. Don't give me no toothless Tom jive either. Glavine will never beat the Br*ves as a Met. And Cox knows it. Witness his snide comment: "I think Tommy is better than he ever was. I really mean that," Cox said. "He throws inside now and you just can't hit him." Yeah he's better than he ever was. How I hate you Robert Cox.

Coming down from highs is always hard. I mean, I heard that its hard. But they were injured, we were injured, and they found a way to win. They had Jwones and Marcus "Runt F****" Giles. We had Wright and Delgado. Their stars beat ours. Beating the Br*ves is the litmus test, and the team just failed. Try to smile through the pain, but these games count as much as any others.

Many folks are drinking the nasty old powdery Tom Glavine kool-aid. He's so classy they say. Mullet-man says "Most people forget Tommy was the third-best pitcher in the National League the second half of the year." Wow, and I was the fourth best 2nd baseman on the little league team. If you really wanna know what I think about Tom(ahawk) Glavine AKA Toothless Tom, go here. Otherwise don't be Beltre-Beltraned--of course he's gonna have a terrific walk year, and snow someone into offering up more moolah. Just let it be some other team.

RE: Perrenial Br*ves asshole Brian Jordan's comments in the NY Post:

"They don't understand," Jordan said of those crowding the Mets bandwagon. "It's all about injuries and health. You can make all the moves you want during the offseason. But it doesn't matter if they're hurt. It's a long season. But it's going to be interesting.''

I think Matthew Cerrone actually says it best:

"I hate you. "

Meanwhile Jose Valentin's dream season continues. He's perfect.

1 Comments:

  • At 7:45 PM, Blogger I.M. Forme said…

    amphetimines help me blog. I got a little out of control, but then i was coming down and then dang! Kazmatsui does it again--a Mr. Koo special.
    Kaz hasnt heard the song yet!

     

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.