It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me at:itsmetsforme@gmail.com or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, March 31, 2006

Around the Horny (for you Anna)

Wow, only two days to go until opening day.

The roster looks set and the lineup looks decent. Promising youth everywhere. And, I saw with my own eyes a picture of Looper in a Cardinals jersey, so I know it's safe to come out from under my bed in my Mets jammy's with the feet. Vic Zambonehead's injury is not too bad. There isn't even much "funk" in the bullpen. The lead singer from Queensryche is going to sing the national anthem on the 5th. And even thinking about Toothless Tom starting the year off, I am able comfort myself by remembering what eventually happened when Opening Day in 2000 was a bit inauspicious (Mets lose to Cubs, Mike-Traitor-Hampton walks 5, Booby V protests the game, etc.) I am so irrationally exuberant even Carlos Bunt-ran can't get me down. Hell, I'm going over to mlb.com to express my opinion, and I'm a votin' for "Let's Make Some Noise!"

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Some ex-Mets are having a rough last couple a weeks:

Mr. Benson.
Although details are scant, it seems Anna has dropped the hammer on Mr. Benson. Oh the humanity. What I hate about this business is that it is getting nearly impossible to say anything original or funny about the Bensons. There are no jokes left to squeeze out of this human tragedy sponge.

The Pitcher-who-can-never-again-be-named.
Primed to be the D-Rays opening day starter, this pitcher's spring could have been better: a 9.24 ERA and he has walked as many as he has wiffed. I'd still take a Pedro, K*zmir, HIGH-PRICED FREE AGENT NAME HERE, Heilman, Bannister rotation anyday.

Mike Kameron.
Poor guy having a good spring is side-lined by oblique injury. I hated the Nady trade and was bitterly enjoying K-man' s Cactus League .354 batting, .625 slugging and .484 on-base marks, but even in my pessimism I never overrated him to this degree. Check out this story on Mlb.com. I mean I feel for the guy, but who's writing this stuff, the Duke? "A five tool player" with "highly evolved talents." I am trying to name the five tools--are renegging on promises to play right field, garbage time HRs and wiffing considered tools? Building your Padres around Kameron's offensive talents is like securing your bank vault with a screen door.

Dr. "Feel" Gooden












Looks like the tragedy continues and Uncle Dwight wiil be fitted for a new uniform soon. Without the blue trim.
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Don't bother going there yet, but look out folks, there's a new Mets blog in town...
Just to be a sport, I registered with Metsblog's blog harbor and created Itsmetsforme2: the Deuce. But what should I do with it, other than air ice hockey and strongmen competitions? I mean I could fill it with the material that doesn't quite make it on here, but who are we kidding?

Is there anyone out there still WITHOUT their own Mets-devoted blog? There now exist more blogs on the Mets than blogs devoted to cheese. Now, I love the Mets, but clearly, in world historical terms, cheese is far more important to mankind taken as a whole. Is this Mets blog proliferation a good thing? With the new tv deal, stadium, and big $tar$, what are our lovable Mutts turning in to? Why are they so popular, given the ugliness of their uniforms?

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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.