It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Spring has Sprung

ESPN's Jayson Stark has an article wasting time on washed-up Tomahawk Chop Glavine. Glavine bashing is like my spring training. I got to warm up with some light ripping on an easy target before I go all out and lite into Mr. Derek "Every kind of Mo" Jeter and whatever that is on his head.

I'd say "bleck," but this picture really doesn't disturb me in the least. I am truly pleased that he returned to the Br*ves and did not retire. And now that he's not cashing the Wilpon's checks anymore, the truth can come out. The gushing and inappropriate article has great lines like this:

(blah blah) "Or maybe it's because this is a place where Tom Glavine just seems to fit. This is a man who looks like a Brave, feels like a Brave, even sounds like a Brave. Always has. Always will."

It repeats the canard going around about Br*ves pitching, that it's deep and full of winning pitchers. Having a bunch of injury prone and washed up stars in your line-up and calling it deep is about as dumb as counting on Mike (Traitor) Hampton. Sure the Br*ves could get lucky and get a good year out of Hudson, a healthy year out of Satan, and actual production out of Hampton. But give me a break with this nonsense about Glavine. Stick a (pitch) fork in him, yokels fans. He's done. Write this down: Frank Wren basically made a $8 million dollar contribution to the Glavine dental treatment plan, and marked himself as nowhere near as shrewd and devious as his predecessor. Which, like the prospects of Toothless Tom serving up fat meatballs to our boys in blue and orange, is good news for Mets fans.

The only thing in this make-work article I don't contest is the line:
"But, at the very least, now that Tom Glavine is back, they definitely have the most dangerous golfing twosome in anybody's rotation."

I expect the Br*ves to play the Mets tough as they always do. But not because of Glavine.

Heyman seems to get what happened at the Clemens hearings. I'm not sure why the headlines aren't screaming juicy murder. My current faves:

• Why would his good friend Pettitte testify that Clemens told him back in 1999 or 2000 that Clemens took HGH if it wasn't true?

• How could Clemens have been talking about his wife Debbie's HGH usage in that conversation, as he later claimed to Andy Pettitte, according to Clemens' deposition, when Clemens himself admitted Debbie didn't take the HGH until 2003? (By the way, Clemens really threw his wife under the bus there.)

I've looked into it, and there is no truth to the rumor that the Giants are discussing signing Debbie Clemens to hit clean-up; she's too young.

Santana fun fact of the day:
the Twins went 105-47 when Santana started over the past five years

Go ahead, kiss yourself.

It's not on the level of the Baltimore Orioles trading of Miggy on the eve of the Mitchell Report, but the Mets have dodged some bullets:
Not signing Zito. Not falling for Glavine's tired act again. Passing on Ct. Red Ass. Letting Arod pass by and NOT competing for Posada. Not getting Yourabit Terrible. Not signing the likes of Lohse or Other Duque. Not that this makes up for the Milledge Idiocy, but I'm feeling charitable towards Omar.

I'm excited about the prospects of the Mets getting a hack at Glavine, but having Mr. Benson on the team to beat is pretty cool. It's cooler when YOUR team distributes its suckers through the league then when they collect such suckers.

BallHype: hype it up!



  • At 10:17 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    My man Mr. I.M. Forme, lots of truths have once again been told by you. I will say one thing though, which is my general policy looking forward, which is that no one knows what will be in the future with any team or any player. So, in other words, I'm not gonna be one to declare that any team or player will do very well or very badly this season or the next for that matter. I hope we all can take away from last season that there are no givens, so therefore, as much as I enjoy your taunts of Glavine and the Br*ves, there are no guarantees that he will stink or that Santana will be Santana-like for that matter. Let the actual baseball show who the winners and losers are. The buzz and hype are fun, but even I sometimes forget that the games are played on the field and victory and defeat is determined there. My hopes will be pointing in that direction, as my heart was never with the Agent Orange and Blue Tom. Spring has sprung indeed though and things are looking quite good and so much better than they looked just two weeks ago.

  • At 10:59 AM, Anonymous benny said…

    How does something that was considered a questoin mark and not good enough for the Mets the past 3 years suddenly a positive for the Braves? I don't get it?
    The only thing I can come up with is Willie's insisting on making Glavine some sort of #1 starter, whatever. But still, I just don't get it.
    Sure Glavine has value... but c'mon now.
    I hate Glavine though. It feels good to hate him again. Not being able to do it fo rthose 4 or 5 years was tough.

  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger MP said…

    You know he's going to have some ridiculous ERA like 0.23 against the Mets this season with a no-no into the 8th at some point. It's just the way it works for us as Mets fans. Hopefully that same day Johan actually completes the no-no.

  • At 1:32 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    cver--i'm cracking a truth egg on your head man. Let it drip down into your consciousness. But you don't want to count chickens before the hatch eh? Fair enough, but i feel the public responsibility to make irresponsible predictions. And predict I will, fearlessly, without regard to the unpredictable consequences. Colorado blogger Rox girl picked up on my pre-season predictions last year, and look what happened to her team.

    benny-- it also has a lot to do with Stark needing to fill up space and happening to be at atlanta's camp. Of the celebrated old guys still "getting it done," Glavine is no Smoltz and no Maddux even, even if we Mets fans are the only ones clear on that.

    mp--maybe in the bad old days, against the cursed old Mets. But these are the New Mets; they have shown they can buy their way out of most non-Sept, Oct problems. It does feel nice to have Toothless back on the enemy, but I still predict midseason retirement for him.

    thanks for your comments.

  • At 5:36 PM, Anonymous cvertana said…

    I will predict that Glavine will NOT retire midseason.

  • At 8:11 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    You are bold indeed, to try to out predict me. But i should warn you this may not be a fair fight. Keep in mind i "predicted" Debbie Clemens involvement AND the red sox being in the world series last year (though i had them playing the mets). I'm like Nicolas Cage in "Next."
    Still want to challenge me?

  • At 8:22 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    From MSG, regarding Beltran's boast:
    Countrytime wants a piece of the action.

    "No wonder his teammates were so surprised to hear about such a boast from Beltran, who became a father in October.

    "Wow!" manager Willie Randolph said. "I guess when you have a little baby girl you get a little confidence."

    But closer Billy Wagner cautioned that grand pronouncements can backfire.

    "You create more of a target," he said. "Now, you have to lead."

    Wagner also said Beltran will have to be around to "answer the questions" and take the "punishment" if he gets off to a slow start or things don't go well.

    "My teammate, I got his back," Wagner said."

  • At 11:07 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    OK, it's ON. You can continue to be Nicholas Cage and I will be Kathleen Turner (he's suing her for comments in her book, you might have read) - ah, I didn't know about that NEXT movie. It was a good reference. Was it a good movie? Maybe IMFM can merge with IMDB instead of with SNY and you can do some movie reviews.

    Well, Beltran got carried away and that's what I'm trying to have the Mets players, fans, etc. avoid. Now he has the potential to be a sage or laughingstock. Just play the games, guys and let your bats, gloves and yes, your BALLS do the talking!

  • At 1:12 AM, Blogger Megan said…

    i wish tom glavine had picked hockey and stayed out of my life forever...

  • At 1:12 AM, Blogger Megan said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 5:06 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    Jose Stache Valentin got a ligament replacement from a cadaver, so I think he needs a new nickname - Corpse? What do others suggest?

  • At 5:46 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    I can see the Post headline now: "Cver to Beltran: Let Your Balls Do the Talking."

    Megan, did you have some kind of intimacy with Tom that we should know about?

    Next was what I would call one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

    As for stashs new nick, that will take some time.

  • At 3:07 AM, Anonymous cver said…

    Yeah, a deleted post on IMFM. That must have been real nasty!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.