It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Oh my Darling Oh my Darling Clemens Lying

Marx wrote that history repeats itself, first time as tragedy, second time as farce, and I'm having a hard time figuring what time it is. You think it's easy to write a novelty blog about baseball when reality is stealing all the punchlines? In other words, what is this bleep?

But, if you are in the dark as to why the U.S. Congress actually pulls worse poll numbers than "Mission Accomplished" Bush, I have a few ideas.

First, Roidger Clemens visits Congress to shake hands, sign autographs, and take private meetings with the very Congresspeople that are to sit in judgement of him Wednesday? Shame on you, Rep. Elijah Cummings, whoever you are.

Now I'm not one of those people who is bent out of shape that Congress wants to investigate baseball every few years (it keeps them off the streets), Congress ought to investigate these meetings that it's having.

Now ya tell me that Andy Pettitte (or whats his name the guy who can't throw to first) doesn't have to appear publicly before Congress beacuse when he appeared before congressional lawyers during a sworn deposition on Monday, he "often contradicted himself"??!!?? How is that a valid reason? Inconsistent testimony sounds a hell of a lot like lying to me. Wasn't one of those commandments about lying or something, Andy?

Truth is, they got the dirt on Roidger, though trying to get a clear picture from articles about leaks about what Pettitte said, like this one , is damn near impossible because they are so poorly written. All while ESPN tries to keep the drama going by running enormous bombastic "did he or didn't he" banners on their site, even in the face of the news: Pettitte says Clemens did it. And now, Clemens will try to play the Debbie card. We all know Clemens did it, ESPN. Basically the media is doing what they do best, reporting things that have no bearing on anything.

Meanwhile, I am coming dangerously close to half agreeing with John Rocker, who injected himself into this unpleasantness because his campaign to make everyone speak English isn't getting him the attention he needs.

Rocker trashed Selig earlier yesterday in an interview on Atlanta-based Rock 100.5 FM. "Bud Selig is a clown," Rocker ranted. "He should do the entire world a favor and kill himself. He is a certifiable idiot."

Apparently, the Texas Rangers, W's ole team, held steroid user support sessions back in 2002, and Rocker is sort of implicating Arod the unions, and Selig at this point, which should be fun to watch. I don't think Bud should kill himself, but he is a clown.

It figures that Sports Illustrated swim suit issue would be involved in this mess.

Best abs. On a 39 year old mother of four. Ever. What was her secret?

"Roger came to me one day and told me that we had been asked to do a photo shoot for Sports Illustrated.I had major anxiety! I was a 39-year-old mother of 4! Once I realized that this WAS going to be a reality, I decided I had to give it everything I had. My mind was set. I am not a risk taker, but have since learned that with great risk, sometimes comes great reward. The responses from that experience have been wonderful and I feel it was a turning point in my life ... Using common sense and my ability to balance my life, I achieved that goal."

Common sense is shooting yourself up with hormones. Using common sense and his ability to balance his life, maybe Roger will achieve his goal. If you haven't checked out Debbie's site showing off her needlepoint, please do so. And Debbie will continue to sell some seriously weird shit on her website.

BallHype: hype it up!

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  • At 7:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It's too bad that ESPN won't let Roidger 'ride off into the sunset' like he says he wants to do. We should believe him, right? After all, this is the guy who said that he was retiring in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006. Funny how he filed for free agency the first possible day each year. I might be wrong about 2004, but I don't think so. Anyway, if I'm proved wrong, I'll deny it. That usually works...

  • At 10:29 AM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    oh i don't want Roidger off the hook. But since I have been accusing him of exactly this for 7 years now, I'm getting tired of it. I hate the Yankees but really, he ought to give back that truck they gave him the first time he pretended to retire.

    The media inadvertently enabled him when they ignored how ridiculous his explanation of the bat throwing incident was. In the damn world series no less.

    For the Spankess, the curse of the 2001 Mets lives on and on.

  • At 6:51 PM, Anonymous Mark said…

    It was fun to watch the Clemens supporters at the hearing struggle to find a shred of credibility in their story. Repeatedly calling McNamee a drug dealer, and showing four pictures of Clemens to show his body hasn't changed...what were they thinking?

  • At 7:48 AM, Blogger Sidd Finch said…

    An old friend of mine had a picture of Clemens with the bat fragment, getting ready to throw it, with tanks and carbombs in the background, called 'Roger Clemens in Gaza'. Man, I wish I had a copy.

  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger Itsmetsforme said…

    how bout a picture of him in jail? my feeling is there's no way Rojuice didn't perjure himself at some point in this process, and in a few weeks someone will realize that once Congress opened this can of worms, they have to go after him.

  • At 7:55 PM, Anonymous cver said…

    Mother Knows Best

    I think it was funny when he was asked how he got the idea to get B-12 injections, that he said:

    "My mother in 1988 suggested I take B-12. I always assumed it was a good thing, not a bad thing."

    Blame it on mom! Classy guy!


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