Oh my Darling Oh my Darling Clemens Lying

Marx wrote that history repeats itself, first time as tragedy, second time as farce, and I'm having a hard time figuring what time it is. You think it's easy to write a novelty blog about baseball when reality is stealing all the punchlines? In other words, what is this bleep?

But, if you are in the dark as to why the U.S. Congress actually pulls worse poll numbers than "Mission Accomplished" Bush, I have a few ideas.

First, Roidger Clemens visits Congress to shake hands, sign autographs, and take private meetings with the very Congresspeople that are to sit in judgement of him Wednesday? Shame on you, Rep. Elijah Cummings, whoever you are.

Now I'm not one of those people who is bent out of shape that Congress wants to investigate baseball every few years (it keeps them off the streets), Congress ought to investigate these meetings that it's having.

Now ya tell me that Andy Pettitte (or whats his name the guy who can't throw to first) doesn't have to appear publicly before Congress beacuse when he appeared before congressional lawyers during a sworn deposition on Monday, he "often contradicted himself"??!!?? How is that a valid reason? Inconsistent testimony sounds a hell of a lot like lying to me. Wasn't one of those commandments about lying or something, Andy?

Truth is, they got the dirt on Roidger, though trying to get a clear picture from articles about leaks about what Pettitte said, like this one , is damn near impossible because they are so poorly written. All while ESPN tries to keep the drama going by running enormous bombastic "did he or didn't he" banners on their site, even in the face of the news: Pettitte says Clemens did it. And now, Clemens will try to play the Debbie card. We all know Clemens did it, ESPN. Basically the media is doing what they do best, reporting things that have no bearing on anything.

Meanwhile, I am coming dangerously close to half agreeing with John Rocker, who injected himself into this unpleasantness because his campaign to make everyone speak English isn't getting him the attention he needs.

Rocker trashed Selig earlier yesterday in an interview on Atlanta-based Rock 100.5 FM. "Bud Selig is a clown," Rocker ranted. "He should do the entire world a favor and kill himself. He is a certifiable idiot."

Apparently, the Texas Rangers, W's ole team, held steroid user support sessions back in 2002, and Rocker is sort of implicating Arod the unions, and Selig at this point, which should be fun to watch. I don't think Bud should kill himself, but he is a clown.

It figures that Sports Illustrated swim suit issue would be involved in this mess.

Best abs. On a 39 year old mother of four. Ever. What was her secret?

"Roger came to me one day and told me that we had been asked to do a photo shoot for Sports Illustrated.I had major anxiety! I was a 39-year-old mother of 4! Once I realized that this WAS going to be a reality, I decided I had to give it everything I had. My mind was set. I am not a risk taker, but have since learned that with great risk, sometimes comes great reward. The responses from that experience have been wonderful and I feel it was a turning point in my life ... Using common sense and my ability to balance my life, I achieved that goal."

Common sense is shooting yourself up with hormones. Using common sense and his ability to balance his life, maybe Roger will achieve his goal. If you haven't checked out Debbie's site showing off her needlepoint, please do so. And Debbie will continue to sell some seriously weird shit on her website.