God to Rockies: Pray Harder Next Time!
Breaking news: Arod declares himself NOT a Yanker, which means that he will probably be skimping on tips for strippers for a few weeks til his financial situation is a bit more solid. Sorry ladies! I'm guessing that when Crazy George Steinbrenner finds out about this business, he'll be looking for a bus to throw Ca$hman under. And oh yeah, the Red Sox swept the World Series again.
One wonders how the Red Sawx, as one of the few teams out there that could actually afford to pay PayRod , feel about Bora$ and Arod announcing this development on the eve of their World Series clinching game. Ah well, if any of the Sawx higher-ups were watching on Fux Network where Ken Rosenthal announced it, maybe they didn't notice, since most of the broadcast was Joe Buck reading advertising copy as the camera lingered on one corporate sponsor or anothers logo. You almost need to wait for the commercial break to get away from the constant product pitches. Reason #45345321 Joe Buck and Fux Network are ruining baseball.
Anyhow, speaking of the apocalypse, unless Jason Varitek kicks the crap out of Arod again, the Boston Red Sox could decide to sign Arod and he could decide to pull a reverse Johnny Damon. Then look out. With a team like that the 2008 Red Sox become not the Yankers, but the Patriots. Seriously, why bother to even play the games?
Still, Slappy has as about as much chance of finding a new chump to pay him 30 mil for 10 years as we have of capturing Osama bin Sadaam or whatever his name was. This ought to be good! Will our heroes be drawn in to the scrum? No one not named Omar can say for sure but it seems unlikely.
By the way, will the Patriots vote the Raiders a playoff share for giving them Randy Moss for nothing? Do they even do that in football?
Remember when Carlos Delgado was magic?
One wonders how the Red Sawx, as one of the few teams out there that could actually afford to pay PayRod , feel about Bora$ and Arod announcing this development on the eve of their World Series clinching game. Ah well, if any of the Sawx higher-ups were watching on Fux Network where Ken Rosenthal announced it, maybe they didn't notice, since most of the broadcast was Joe Buck reading advertising copy as the camera lingered on one corporate sponsor or anothers logo. You almost need to wait for the commercial break to get away from the constant product pitches. Reason #45345321 Joe Buck and Fux Network are ruining baseball.
Anyhow, speaking of the apocalypse, unless Jason Varitek kicks the crap out of Arod again, the Boston Red Sox could decide to sign Arod and he could decide to pull a reverse Johnny Damon. Then look out. With a team like that the 2008 Red Sox become not the Yankers, but the Patriots. Seriously, why bother to even play the games?
Still, Slappy has as about as much chance of finding a new chump to pay him 30 mil for 10 years as we have of capturing Osama bin Sadaam or whatever his name was. This ought to be good! Will our heroes be drawn in to the scrum? No one not named Omar can say for sure but it seems unlikely.
By the way, will the Patriots vote the Raiders a playoff share for giving them Randy Moss for nothing? Do they even do that in football?
Remember when Carlos Delgado was magic?
posted by I.M. Forme @ 8:33 PM
6 Comments:
At 11:28 PM,
Anonymous said…
Wow, this was really something. I didn't even get the last 2 paragraphs and I thought it was brilliant! Who's Slappy, BTW? Omar, please just pay A-ROD 400 million and trade Reyes for Santana and sign him for 7 years/160 million. Then, we have Wright/Beltran/Santana/A-ROD for at least 5 years or something and get to keep all of our prospects to play and/or to trade for other pieces. But, oh no, this will not happen. Mark my words - Omar will sign Livan, brother of Old Duque, after all, why break up a pair? Maybe we can get Spit Alomar out of retirement too to join his dad and bro.
At 11:54 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
Livan Hernandez comes to the Mets, I will freak out. That it sounds like something that Omar might do makes me quiver. Does Mota have a brother? I'm alergic to mediocrity. I mean other than blogwise. Actually the only way I'd provisionally accept that is if it was either Glavine or Livian.
Slappy of course, is better known as "Slappy Mc Pay Rod" AKA Arod, or the guy that tried to slap the ball out of the Sox first baseman or pitchers mitt several years back. That's his name and he's quite the sportsman.
Speaking of Slappy, perhaps the whole league should get together to try to keep him from the Red Sox! At least until the steroids news hits, the Sox with Alex would look unbeatable, like the Yankers, only with pitching and a lot of guys named Sully in the stands.
What about this fantasy. Angels, to make payroll room to sign Arod, move Vlad the Impaler and his bad back to the Mets for, um, someone, and the Mets live happily ever after!
At 7:22 AM,
Anonymous said…
Of course, Slappy - good one. Somehow, I think that the fact that Borad (is that original?)have opted out, might signal that they don't feel that Mitchell has anything on them, otherwise dragging things out, with the other syringe about to drop might not be prudent. Of course, that's about what it would take to get Omar interested (see Mota, Show, Heredia, Sosa).
That Vlad idea was pretty good actually, at least inasmuch as the "you heard it here first" category and also, it's a good idea as an actual concept, except that we'd have to give up a lot to get him and others have more to give - something that might get mulled over in the months to come, but unless you got it from somewhere else that I'm not aware of, it's another reason that this is one of the stops on my one-stop shopping Mets news. If you stole it from somewhere else, it is the advanced state of mediocrity that brings me here:)
At 11:39 AM,
I.M. Forme said…
No, I came up with that Vlad idea myself in an effort to keep up with you.
As for Borad, please do see my all- but-ignored photoshopping extravaganza from Nov 2006:
http://itsmetsforme.blogspot.com/2006/11/bora-financial-learnings-of-america.html
At 3:44 PM,
Anonymous said…
OK, good one, but I guess Borad or should it be Borod is mine! Pretty funny post that I missed.
At 5:12 PM,
I.M. Forme said…
should the mets hire don mattingly as coach now?
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