It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Mets Lit Up like Fourth of July: Oooo...Aaaahhhh

Well, we've now seen how the thin air affects Willie Randolph's guys' formula for sucess. the formula equals 34 runs against,12 runs for. In case you missed it, Misery Loves Company nailed it a few weeks ago.

1. Score early.
2. Starter fades.
3. Squander opportunities to score.
4. Bullpen implodes.
5. Hitting decreases with every passing inning (1-2-3 ninth is a given)

This alone would drive many a metfan crazy if it weren't for the baseball gods smacking the Br*ves and Phillies with the suck-stick.

Oliver Perez and Jorge Sosa, two who have just recently entered the rip in the time-space-baseball continuum that is the Mets injured list (a time warp that spits out players like Jose Valentine and Shawn Green in a nanosecond, but holds on to others like Lastings Milledge and Moises Alou for eons) will hopefully both resume their surprising seasons after the All-Star break.

One plan to get healthy in Houston involves sneaking into the Houston clubhouse with a canvas bag, and replacing Roy Oswalt with Aaron Sele. Another involves re-Roiding Mota, getting a few weeks of productivity out of him, then voiding his contract. Yet another involves manipulaitng the sugar in Paul lo Duca's diet, in the hopes of another inspiring freak-out. I personally prefer to start the season over after next Wednesday.

But the Mets, until they can find their way, must attend to some un-patriotic business in Houston starting tonight. According to Wikipedia, all but two of the Active 25 man roster are red blooded Americans!


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.