Mets get JoHandled

The Mets revival faced its first test last night, and the Mets failed with running colors, prompting many a NY tabloid editor to salivate, and even more tension and hand-wrining in the blog-world. Plus, Keith Hernandez is starting to offer advice, and you know things are bad when that happens. Johan Santana (whose resemblence to Mike Hampton's pitching style makes me uncomfortable) is no slouch, but the Mets uninspired play continues to make them look like they don't have a prayer in the post season, if they even reach it. The 2007 Mets are unable to beat good teams. Period. Look at the record.

If I had to pick just one moment in last night's pathetic quasi-forfit performance, it would be Carlos Buntran airmailing his throw into the stands, prompting the wheels to come off the Mets wagon one more time. Now Jorge (or George, if you're in LA) Sosa has been mostly a revelation, pitching from the final spot in the rotation (unless you're honest and admit that Glavine is this team's 5th starter), but Carlos, Carlos, Carlos, do we really want to test his fragile psyche? The other underperforming Carlos(t) got the game off to a bad start, booting a routine grounder in the first inning, but Belty, in my opinion, set the tone for one shitty performance.

The Mets are going as quietly as a Sammy Sosa drive for 600 homeruns, with a little David Wright glove slamming being the only hint that this team gives a whit. Worse, this is begining to look like a permanant situation, with no end in sight. So what else is there to do but...rank the goats! This exercise is not as easy as it looks, seeing as how there are so many options.


All Carlos' other than Gomez: Watching "stand up" guys like my two Carlos' struggle is about as enjoyable as being a Boston Celtics fan. But these two need to stand up, or sit down. They are hurting the team in the field and at the plate, and just about the only offense left for them to commit is to run down Mr. Met in their cars. Watch out, buddy!


Can't anyone here play this game?

Willie: That's right, you knew it was coming. If it isn't for his tactical genius, and it isn't, then why are the Mets paying this guy? It's for his personel skills, folks. But apparently they don't teach "buffet table bashing" "umpire abuse," or "watercooler destruction" at the Joe Torre School of Corpse-like Managing. William of the Bronx did finally put LoDuca back in the 2 slot, but though it did work pretty well last year, that is only tinkering for tinkering's sake. To the admittedly biased view of the frustrated fan during times of trouble, "professionalism" often starts to look a lot like "passionless play."

Mets defense: The icing on the shit cake that has been the Mets' play in June. No forgiving this lack of focus. The Mets still score runs, its just that they find new ways to give them back and more. And that's Tom Glavine's job guys. Even the reliable Stash is taking his lumps in the field.

Mets bullpen: Just cause we haven't seen them fail lately, doesn't mean we forgive No Showenweis, Poopeyface Heilman, the Other Pedro, and even Countrytime for their earlier transgressions.

Tom Glavine: Glavine's pitching is the gift that never stops giving. If you're the other team. Whatever the opposite of "leader" is, I'd say it fairly describes Glavine's role in this ongoing debacle.

John Maine: If this seems unfair because Maine has generally pitched beyond expectations, then please meditate on what these numbers mean: 1,2,3. That is the number of pitches Maine threw to the bottom of the Dodger's order that went rocketing out of the park in various directions, the lowpoint of this swoon if you ask me.

Jose Reyes: I dunno, it's tough to spread the blame this far, but "As Jose goes, so go the Mets." And from listless fielding, to baffling 2nd base larceny attempts when the team is down by mucho-runnos, Jose has kinda sucked this month.

Am I forgetting anyone? (I will not beat up on Old Duque and Julio Francostein, as the AARP is all over me lately, and I don't want no problems).


Here's hoping the Mets can avoid the Twin-Killing tonight, and eke out a series win for June. But I am not holding my breath under the paperbag I wear as a hat...