It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Around the Horn: All-Star Boredom Edition

Nah, i couldn't come up with anything more original than "around the horn."

No truth to the rumor that Rickey Henderson and Jose Lima collaborated on the design of the 2006 NL Allstar's HR derby uniforms, but still, another what was Bud Selig thinking? Allstar moment. Nothing says "I fear no man, or AL winning streak" like bright yellow, the favorite color of cowards and people who enjoy pee-snow. But I look to our own David Wright to add some toughness to this year's NL squad, seeing as he already started swearing a blue streak during the HR derby.

Jose can we see?
In today's New York Times, Ben Shpigel reminds us that the kids are not ALL Wright--If this article doesn't bring a lump to your throat, I dunno what will. Remember a time before the David's emergence, before Reyes injuries, before Kaz? Jose Reyes was the guy in the minors we all thought would lead the revival. And he has. And I say this not just cause he's currently hitting .300 and is an excitement machine everytime he gets on either. Without his enthusiasm, there would be no 2006 Mets. Reyes, who has a girlfriend and an 18 month old daughter in Queens (don't we all?), has shown some serious professional growth and maturity this season, despite the risky clubhouse influences the Mets have surrounded him with: Rickey Henderson (attitudinal) and Jose Lima (sartorial). Sure Reyes has taken a pounding in the blogosphere over his legs, on-base percentage (and occasionally one blogger implies he's a dummy), etc. But it's time to give it up for Jose, he makes us happy!!

Is it me, or do the headlines sound vauguely dirty?...

"Stroke is all Wright"
"We've got a long way to go"
"Top Heavy on the Left Side"
"Wright provides early Blast"
"Mets Do It Doggystyle"

Read it!
Savoring FIRE JOE MORGAN's regular dismembering of baseball commentators has been one of my favorite pastimes. FJM uncovers the fact that Rob Dibble has a blog (its called, "Hard Balls"), ridicules controversially stupid White Sox mangager Ozzie Guillen's poor-sport-loading of the AL Allstar rooster with less deserving Sox. Consider FJM's take on some poor bastard's attempt to shine Omar Vizquel's Hall of Fame credentials:

"The sun at Jacobs Field in Cleveland, where Vizquel spent 11 seasons, casts a glare at the shortstop even the best Oakleys can't deflect. On pop-ups, this poses a problem. So Vizquel came up with a solution: He turned his back to the infield to shield his face from the sun and caught fly balls backward.

Hall of Fame. Put 'im in...Yep, every Hall of Famer did something unique. Mike Schmidt played with his hat sideways. Roberto Clemente chewed other people's fingernails. Tris Speaker was Japanese. Lou Boudreau rode a dolphin into the batter's box. Nap Lajoie would only use John Wilkes Booth's dismembered leg as a bat. And he corked it. Johnny Mize was from the future.Babe Ruth hit home runs. .. Catfish Hunter breathed nitrogen. Don Drysdale invented the mandolin. Stan Coveleski ... zzz ..."

Could Greg Maddux really be the answer? Maybe, if the question is: how could the Mets' brass, in one move, sour me on this lovable squad, outside of trading Lastings "Pillage my Village" Milledge? I'm not sure I could live with a rotation tainted by those that have hurt me so badly. Why not just solidify the rotation with Kenny Rogers* and Shaun Estes while we're at it? SatanSmoltz can be had as well.

* Kenny Rodgers is extra evil because well he goes batshit on photographers, but also for this reason: he was too washed up not to walk in the winning run while playing for the Mets, but not too washed up to somehow continue winning. Loathsome.

(another sidenote: there'd be a lot of colorful pictures in this entry if Blogger was working properly for once. Pictures no longer seem to upload.)


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.