It's Mets For Me: Off-Beat, Tangentially Relevant Mets Ruminations

Off Base Since 2005! Mets commentary from the counter-intuitive to the unintuitive and all the intuitives in between. ** "Through the use of humor and gross inaccuracy...a certain truth can be gained." Rob Perri ** (pester me or follow me @itsmetsforme on twitter)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Catch the Stash!

David Wright walksoff against Mariano and the Spankmes. Winning a Big Unit vs. Little Unfit pitching match-up? Slappy McA-Rod boots one. And the Spanker$ can't even catch Jose Reyes Knucklehead in a run-down! Lots to love here, besides an inebriated Tom Seaver showing up in the broadcast booth in a tight shirt.

Mood? Happy like Gary Carter in the freakin' shower. But I'll let others deal with the actual game. I have more important things to consider.

Tonight I noticed Kaz Mat returning to the facial hair that made him a star in Japan. Look at the exhuberance, the swagger. What's different? Some say he got contacts and can actually see. I say look no further than his upper lip.

Now the '86ers had the teamwork to make the dream work (and a dash of cocaine), and the 2000 Mets had the "mojo rising." But even strange, basement dwelling dweebs hate the 2006 rally "song." And now I think I know what's gonna bring this team together...

The 'stash. Look what it's done for Jose Valentin. It turns out we were all wrong about Valentin. he went from "tool" to "5-tool" in the space of a few weeks. How'd he do it? How do you think?

before--------------------> after

Keith and Hojo had it. George Foster had it. The 'Stash. nothing says "I mean business" like the 'stash. Can you imagine what the stash could do for...

Jose Lima?*
Xavier Nady? David Wright?

Plenty of teams shave their heads, or don't shave during the playoffs. Why not have the entire Mets team grow a nice fat 'stash, every last one of 'em? Ride the power of the stash, boys.

Exciting. Thrilling. Awesome.

* okay i know he was shitcanned today, but there is a 24 hr grace period on Limatime jokes!


  • At 12:34 AM, Anonymous andrew said…

    Handlebars for the win!


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This blog is meant completely and entirely in jest, unless you count the angst, and is not meant to offend anyone, unless you are a Br*ves fan. It's not affiliated with Sterling, the Mets, common sense, good taste, or anything really.